April 11, 2017
What’s on your mind? I would love to hear from you!!
While I love chatting with every single one of you and am here to offer whatever support I can, I have to throw in my legal disclaimer that you cannot take anything I say as legal or medical advice because I am not an attorney, a doctor, or a counselor. I would love to hear from you though so don’t hesitate to reach out!
Hi Eden,I'm Liz of the LadyBits podcast and the Real Talk blog, and I just finished “I Volunteered At The Food Pantry For Years, But Now? I Eat There” and loved it. You explore this issue with candor, and I was constantly emotionally engaged without feeling pity for you or your situation. You have an amazing talent, and I'd like to borrow it!I would like to bring you on as a contributing writer for Real Talk. It's a lot like Thought Catalog/Elite Daily/Your Tange in that it's written solely by contributors and caters to everything related to ladies in their 20s, and some men giving their perspective on ladies in their 20s. I'd love it if you checked out our website (LadyBitsPodcast.com), listened to an episode or two, read some posts, and then let me know if you think we're a good fit for you. And of course, email me if you have any questions or concerns.I look forward to speaking with you soon!Liz
I sent you an email Liz 🙂
Your story speaks for a hell lot of some of us. I came here because i googled why-is-my-family-crazy?You see if only my mother was crazy or one of my sisters or one of my brothers thaen i would have hadsome peace and something of a relationship with the other healthier ones.But it did not happen that way.My mother was crazy, all my brothers are sick and both my sisters are psycho.How can a family be all sick?In my life pratically everyone i engage is mentally ill, abusive, addict, narcistic etc. Why?I found it easier to disconnect from my family. It was slow. Having gotten used o abusing me it was hard forthem to let go. They are estraged now. It has given me some little peace.Thank you for your story. The question is why you were isolated in your abuse. In my family abuse wasa matrix. Everyone targeting everyone else for abuse.I did not even attend my mother funeral. In my heart i have no regrets. She did not deserve my presence inher death. I hope by now she has rotted properly. She dd not deserve to be alive in the first place.
I’m so sorry that you are going through that family dynamic. I used to think it was only me until I started this blog and realized how very many people were going through the sam things 🙁 Kudos to you for recognizing that there is a problem and making changes. I hope you stick around the blog, there are SO many of us and we’d love to have you 🙂
Really enjoyed your article in Yahoo about your daughter and doctors. I was misdiagnosed for over 30 years with what turned out to be MS. I am my own advocated and advocate medically for others as well. Lots of incompetence out there. Congrats on the new readers from Yahoo. Great writing.
I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner, somehow I missed this! I’m sorry that you had to be your own health detective, but major kudos to you in putting your foot down and pressing forward!
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment and I promise to be a little more prompt next time!
I just stumbled upon your blog. I am a future single mom. I say this because my husband is emotionally abusive daily to me and sometimes my kids, and j am just now waiting for the day I have enough courage to walk away. I read your stories and I feel compelled to write you. I feel very strongly compelled to help. I run a ministry to help out moms, can I send you some things for you and your kiddos? Do you have a PO Box? Feel free to email me at email@example.com 🙂
Aw thanks Julie. I’m sorry that you are going through some rough times as well. This blog is so strange because I’m so happy to “meet” you all, but then I’m sad because I know so many of you found your way here looking for someone who can relate to some really tough situations.
What a testimony to how amazing you are that you’re having your own struggles but still looking to help me. How awesome are you!!
Unfortunately I do not have a PO Box, although I wish I did because I have so many awesome readers!! Just knowing that you are all here is what keeps me going some days, so thank you for taking the time to reach out to me 🙂 I’ll hang onto your email and please contact me if you ever need to chat!
Hi EdenI am from Canada but currently at the WHO in Geneva and your life is indeed fascinating. Without going into too much detail as I have emailed you, I commend your work, patience and tenacity. Is there a way to send you and your children food, or other things that may be helpful to you?Do you give motivational talks? If yes I would love to fly you and your family to Canada and arrange this.Kind regards, Rahul
Yes, I do motivational speaking and would love to chat with you! Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
What State do You live in?
Aw I wish I could say but I keep my location private in order to protect my children’s identity 🙂
Hi Eden,I would love for your daughter to receive the Puppy Surprise this Christmas. I am a single Mom who has struggled, and know what it feels like to wonder how you will be able to provide for your kids. Please email me email@example.com, so that I can help Santa out this year. :)Thanks,Kim
You guys are AMAZING!! I posted some Christmas info on my Facebook page along with a PO Box. You are all so generous and if the generousity is more than my kids need, I run a nonprofit for single women who have left abusive relationships, and they are all in the same position as me, so I can “share the wealth” if you are all OK with that 🙂
Hi Eden,Just finished reading your article. Makes my heart sad and happy at the same time. I to would love to help out Santa this year. . . so please email me ~ firstname.lastname@example.orgThanks,Jennifer
I sent you an email, thank you!
Hi Eden,I just read the article on Yahoo about a mother and her 2 kids who will not have a Xmas this year. I would like to help can you please email email@example.com
I sent you an email 🙂
Hi Eden,I also read your article this morning and sent you an e-mail. I would really love to help you with Santa this year. Please e-mail me back.
Thank you love. I don’t have your email address lol
Oh no wait, I DO have it! I somehow missed your entire first sentence of “I emailed you this morning.” Duh. Sorry. My eyes are about ready to pop out of my head answering all these comments!
Hi Eden,I just read your article about the puppy surprise and see where many have already pledged to help. I don't know where you live or at which grocery chain you do your shopping, but since everyone else wants to help out with toys I thought I'd help with FOOD. My husband and I were dirt poor once and I remember when my son was born thinking no one was going to even give him a stuffed animal so I would siphon off grocery money to purchase little things at what was then Value City in MI so that when I brought him home to our dumpy graduate student housing apartment he would feel loved and wanted. My in laws surprised me with generosity that Christmas (he was born 12/20) and I was so very grateful and still am. What a kind gesture to their grandchild. They didn't care for me but they really loved their son's son and for me that was enough. My parents – had enough money for my sister and her child but never for me or mine so this was the kindest gesture and I have paid it forward ever since. My son is now 26 and a PhD candidate and still NEEDS ugh. But YOU my dear Eden and everyone else in need should never have to go without food so that your child can eat (been there, done that and it is not pretty.) So please e mail me and I will gladly, and with an open heart, send you a gift card to your grocer so that you and your children can have a lovely holiday meal and hopefully others will come through and your children will get what they want and not things that were regifted because they are old and dated. firstname.lastname@example.org
You sound like you have been through a lot but clearly still have a heart of gold, I hope the same is true for me in a few years 🙂
I’m sending you an email 🙂
So you child was looking for a toy dog. Could you provide more info about the type of toy?
Hi, Eden: would love to help Santa out. Or contributes towards Christmas dinner! Send me an email with a mailing address so I can send something towards your way. email@example.com
I sent you an email 🙂
Eden,I also read your story via Yahoo, and like everyone else on this thread I would like to help any way that I can. It looks like from previous posts you would like to keep your state of residence confidential (this makes it difficult to mail anything). Do you have a Paypal account that you are able to accept funds in?
You guys are WAY too generous!! I have posted some Christmas info on my Facebook page 🙂
Eden, I know you keep your address private, but we could help you out by doing an in store pickup. There are a lot of people that want your little girl to have that puppy surprise. So if you have a walmart around, you can pick the gifts up in store and the only thing anyone will know is where you shop at Walmart.
I just emailed you about sending you some Amazon gift card codes via email so you could order presents directly. Maybe not enough for the puppy surprise, but if others might also send you some it may add up! Check your gmail!
Thank you hun, hopefully I responded, my inbox is KA-RAY-ZEE right now! If you didn’t hear from me, shoot me another email with some crazy eye catching subject line 🙂
Hi Eden, I am also in for making your and your children's Christmas better this year. Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
I’m sending you an email 🙂
Hello Eden, I read your article and I would love to help make this holiday season special for you and your kids. Please let me know how I can help. E-mail me at email@example.com.
I’m sending you an email 🙂
Hello Eden,I hope that you are open to the Santa's out there and I would like to help your son get what he is asking for this Christmas. My name is Katie and you can send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. We know that what you are experiencing is tough but as you have come to realize you are strong and you have a voice don't let either of those things fade!
Thank you for your encouragment!!!
I’m sending you an email 🙂
Eden, I know that many have replied to your Yahoo story & email with kind offers to help you and your children this Christmas. Whatever your private reasons were to go public with your life at this time, please know there are so many of “us” your readers who wish to help. I have noted that you have not replied to anyone's offer publicly so I am hoping you will reply privately to our e-mail address's. Thank you, Fritzieastroboy5856@yahoo.com
Thank you Fritzie
I love your email address! And I did send you an email 🙂
You are one STRONG woman! And I want you to know that we are all connected in a very unique way! Tune in…the Universe is having a conversation with all of us…and you are blessed! With much Aloha coming to you for a very, very HAPPY CHRISTMAS, and a FABULOUSLY JOYOUS NEW YEAR!
Yay!! Thank you!!
Do you have a P.O. Box I could send something to for those babies? I know you've gotten several offers but your story spoke to me because my wish one year was a puppy surprise, too! Either way, I hope your Christmas is amazing. My email is Lynda_finley@yahoo.com
Can you even believe that Puppy Surprise is even still around!? They had them when I was younger! 🙂
I’ve sent you an email, THANK YOU!
Just sent you an Amazon gift card to email@example.com, please check your spam just in case. Happy holidays!
THANK YOU!! You guys are going to kill me with your kindness. Like literally, I’m starting to think that is a real thing because my heart is going to explode. EXPLODE.
I would like your little girl and your youngest one to have the presents they deserve as well. Thank you Wanda above to suggest such a great idea.
Hi Eden, I would like to help as well. I am going to send you an amazon gift card to your email, firstname.lastname@example.org. I know that you said in your article that you will teach your daughter that there is more to Christmas than receiving gifts, but I think that everyone deserves a gift. It's about giving and receiving. You can always save the gift card for something else, if you have received enough to make your Christmas special this year. I hope that 2016 is a better year for you! Happy Holidays
As I said to the person above you, you guys are making my heart explode! I seriously can’t believe so many of you took the time to reach out to me and help us.
Eden,I know several people have offered their assistance but I too would like to help your children have a Christmas every child deserves. Please email at email@example.com.
Thank you so much love. I’m sending you an email 🙂
Eden – merry xmas from Puerto Rico!Ivan
Merry Christmas all the way to Puerto Rico!!!
Hey hon, I read your article about your skunk of a husband leaving you and your sweeties, and your situation with welfare. I don't know if this is an option for you, but my sister was in nearly the identical situation, and here's what she did. She enrolled in a college that had day care for students, and then qualified for a lot of grants, and some loans. Now, she still had her house, so you might qualify for even more grants, since you lost yours. But that really saved her bacon. It gave her money to support the kids, it fulfilled the requirements for her to receive assistance while not working, since jobs could not be found at that point. And the best part, it got her the education she needed to get off all the help programs, and live on her own. I don't know if that could help you, or it you've tried it and I'm just giving you a broken solution. But you seem like a smart woman, and I bet a couple years of nurses training, or paralegal training could change everything for you and the little ones. (I only suggest those because they are 1 to 2 year programs, so you're back on your feet faster.I bet you could do anything.) Good luck, hon. You and your little people are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish so much I could do more.
Thank you for all your suggestions!! I always appreciate people taking the time to help me out 🙂
Just read, “Just Because I’m on Welfare Doesn’t Mean I Need to Look Poor” and wanted to make sure you know about Comcast's Internet Essentials for $9.95 a month. No tax on Internet only so that should be your total bill. https://internetessentials.com/apply
Thank you so much for sharing that with me!!
Just read about lack of home Internet other than phone. Comcast has a 9.95 a month Internet Essentials plan. https://internetessentials.com/apply
NMSB, just wondering if there is any way people can help support you and the kids?
Did you finally just give up on looking for the father? I am pretty good at finding people that do not want to get found. Let me know if I can help. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
HI, Just read your story on a Yahoo webpage. Really sad as I have 2 kids (4 and 2) and spoil them to death. I couldn't imagine leaving them. Not sure if I can help you in anyway but I wish you all the best and will continue to read your Blog. I don't read any Blogs but was moved by your story.
Thank you! I love my readers, so I am happy that you are here 🙂
just saw genetic “matchmaking” story, and thought that even if you didn't need this info, others following your & your kids' medical issues might:http://www.cnn.com/2016/02/29/health/rare-diseases-matchmaker/index.html
Awesome, thank you!!!
I'm a little confused. Did your husband leave or were you “the Walkaway Wife”?
I have no idea what The Walkaway Wife is, I think you must have me confused with another writer. My husband left.
Ok so I just Googled that term and apparently it’s the name for a woman who leaves her husband. Nope, not me. My husband disappeared.
Dear Eden, I just wanted you to know that I read your blog so I can pray for you, and to remind myself that I am not the center of the universe so I am not the only one hurting and struggling with things that are unfair. Please don't beat yourself up with how you feel. Even the “ugly” feelings are legitimate and worthy to be acknowledged. I am angry at your ex for choosing to be dishonorable and irresponsible to those that are innocent, and my only connection to you is your blog! I don't want to preach at you, but I have been where you are, feeling hopeless and angry at my perpetrator and feeling that there is no justice for me. It helps that I know that even though he was innocent, my Jesus paid the price of the injustice done to me, so I am able to let it go. I never say that what was done is ok, far from it, but it has been paid for so I no longer have to carry it. So I let it go, and I trust that Jesus will help me process my “ugly” feelings. Take care Eden. Jenny
I appreciate your thoughts and prayers, thank you 🙂
I read your article in Yahoo in lieu with the Domestic Violence Month and I have to say, I had been in almost the same situation as yours and I got lucky to find an amazing lawyer to fight for me against my husband. I share same idea as yours that no woman should be in this situation and a woman must be able to get the help she needs to keep herself and her children safe from the abuser. Like what I said to the judge during my case trial, ” I do not want my son to become a statistic and I would do everything to keep him safe.” DV is a very painful process that tramples down a woman whole being and as I look back to it, I am always grateful how I got lucky to make it through and have my son but I am also saddened by so many women who are still suffering in the pit of Domestic Violence!
I’m so happy that you found an attorney too 🙂 I wish it was the same for every victim!
Check out my blog on way to protect yourself in future.http://m1515w.wixsite.com/stopstalking
I just want to say thank you. You've encouraged me in ways you will never understand.
You are most welcome 🙂
Eden thank you so much for writing this article. It took me back forty years, and it feels like not much has changed except the exposure today. I am writing my memoir which describes domestic and sexual abuse which I could not escape because there was no where to go. I was sad to read that it is forty years later and women are still faced with many of the same issues. There is help, and then again there is little hope at times. I would love to send you a copy of my book when it is finished and note your organization as a resource for women to have hope in inding help.Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you are doing.
Mary, I enjoyed chatting with you via email 🙂
Hi Eden. You rock. I will email you shortly as I would like to share. I love all of what I see. Stay strong and keep up the great work.
Hi eden. Have read some of your posts since my girlfriend happened across it and informed me. When she read about your situation with rape, it hit home with her. She only relatively recently shared her own experience. I assume she was afraid I'd judge her or such. It's left her w/ some trust issues, even yrs after. Me personally, i love her, so NOTHING in her past is gonna change that. Anyway, long story short, her trauma occured due to her ex hubby having raped her during their marriage. Between the aforementioned trust issues, occasional night terrors& such.. Been hard on her emotionally. Saving grace being that after reading your post about your experience.. She seems.. Idk.. More at peace w/ herself & what happened. I'm pretty sure something in your post/experience helped bring it about,so… Just was writing to say “THANK YOU” for whatever peace your blog has apparently given her. You're definitely one hell of a strong person to be able to help so many w/ that post. Don't know my email by memory (yet), new cell. I'll post it here later, & ya always be welcome to mail.tc & best to you & those lil ones. Prayers for all of you. 🙂
Hello. And Bye.
I am so glad i found your page, i am currently going through the same thing; My husband abandoned our son and i in december 15, 2015. He was in the air force and just recently gout of of Jan 5th 2020. But while he was in, he got orderds right after our son was born in May 2015 for him to head to south korea to be stationed at osan afb, south korea. During his training and getting ready to leave by himself which he told us he would be there for a year at least; he was secretly sleeping with his co workers and living a different life and preparing to abandon us. When December 15th came and he had gone to SK on December 10th, he face-timed me one last time the day before 15th and said he would face time again duirng xmas to see our son and myself. The next day came by and he did not. He deleted me off facebook, he deleted me off our psn(ps4 ) , he blocked me on almost everything except email. I had recently gotten a job and i had seen this during my break time at work. I was in major lost and confusion and melt down and crying. I was also dealing with low spec of POST=P-depression as well. I got an email from him saying he never loved me, he didnt want me, he wanted a divorce and that i emotionally made him unhappy (because i caught him cheating and i called him out for it and he was pissed at me for catching him in the act) and said he was gonna file papers. I was in total confuse, because he told me we would go to marriage counseling online and that when he got back from south korea we would be going to japan together with our baby and that was a big fat lie. Then i found out he said this stuff to me while he was drunk, and that he was screwing around with the first girl he had an affair with and i stold him is that why and he said to me ” i dont even want a divorce, i just dont know what else to do”; How would you feel the man who threatens you divorce then says this stuff? IT put me in a very confusing emotional break down. Then the emails during 2016 stopped, he blocked me even on my Gmail. I had to literally find his unit and had people help me. His own supervisor didnt even wanna help me but was then forced to by another higher up leadership to help me. I didnt know that in south korea, a lot of the married men they cheat on their wives back home here with a bunch of juicy girls and escorts, which is what he was doing my husband; Then finally they forced him to start paying BAH by March only 1000 a month; they also took him to the attorneys office to file for divorce and for some crazy reason my husband refused to file for a divorce; Well in April, i found out he kicked our son out of DEERS. I couldnt believe it?! How could you kick your kid off of health insurance!? I had to do it all by my self, i had to find his birth certificate and go to a military base close by my city here in my state of Iowa. My friends and also military friends who worked with my husband in the air force who are no longer friends with him kept tabs on him for me. They saw him partying and posting him kissing other woman on his snapchat. They had friends over at the same unit as him which was by luck saying they saw him one time with some of his friends friends playing pool at a place called Say-dee which is a SK escort juicy bar messing around with the woman in there. I told his first shirt about it and they didnt care. Then fall of 2016 came by, he was screwing around with another female who worked in his unit, he had her gaslighted and manipulated hardcore. He did not once ask about our son or anything, he treated like our son and i did not exist. their affair went on for 1 year and a half, almost two years until she finally realized he was a liar, that he had a wife and child. That he told her he was divorced when he was not and that she had no idea he had a son. She contacted me after i contacted her in may 2018 and she apologized to me saying she was wrong. She told me that he was a wreck and that he would emotionally abuse her and at he bar he almost physically assaulted her. So here as he was posting to friends that his life was amazing without his son and wife (me); his life was really just full of crap. Well i forgave her and im not mad at her. she was a victim as well. Surprisingly me and her became good friends; i know that is very hard for a lot of wives, but she turned herself in after she left she talked to the military osi/police. She made a statement so he couldnt get away with what he had been doing. as of last year hes had this new mistress, a Korean escort/juicy girl /bartender and shes the same, she refuses to believe he is married and has a kid. She wont leave him alone as well. It had taken me a long time to get it thru my head that he is a horrible person. Which i finally did. Last year in spring 2019 he was served with fraternizing adultrey and a LOR and told he is being dishonorably discharged. The korean girl finally found out he had a kid and i guess she got mad at him and broke up with him. But then they got back together. Whats crazy is his family is catholic and his 1 older sister even added recently the Korean girl. Still to this day; he has not made any effort or contact for our son. He also had us in debt of 20K, there was a car that he bought and put in loan and my name was on it as well. But he had promised he would pay for the car loan, that was it. He never did and in the past 3 years i had to pay it off. which i finally did as of August 20th 2019. So i wasnt able to pay for a divorce. I still havent paid for one, because hes the one who wants it so i thought he should file for it. I have had my mom help me out financially while i work, i have been looking for a better job/full time. It is hard where i live at, a college town competing with college kids for a job, It still is painful, that he used me and he never cared about me, and us getting married and having a kid meant nothing to him. Now that hes been kicked out and moved back he moved a state below me and he quit paying any child support which BAH isnt child support; But hes not paying anything and the only family member i talk to is his younger sister who is few years younger than me and im only 26. so ive been married for almost 7 years this october. She doesn’t like my husband her brother and she knows how he truly is. She was never there for our wedding or anything back in 2013, because personal things but she was the only one out of his family that believed me and knew he was an abuser. She knows her parents are not happy that he is back home at their place and cant stand him. Also about finding him being kicked out; i found out through the girl who worked with him back in sk the one who had an affair and she said her guy friends who played pool with him said he was leaving and done with the AF by jan 5th; So yeah, i have no idea and he also finally unblocked me on email so i sent him one today actually as of 3/16/2020 to please file for divorce so he can marry his stupid korean whatever and move on. Because i want to move on. Sorry for the long post; reading your blog is giving me hope for a new start and hoping he will get this done because i have a lot of things that are unasked and will probably never be answered by him on why he keeps forcing us to continue to stay married while not wanting anything to do with us.
I’m so sorry for the delayed reply, this comment got stuck in the spam box. I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all of that! It has been a couple months since you commented, how are you doing now?