What The Hell Do People Think Of Me?

Have you guys heard of Wish.com? I promise this isn’t a sponsored post or anything, it’s just that lately their ads seem to be infiltrating my Facebook news feed. And what I really don’t understand, is why, in an era where ads are usually targeted to a specific audience, does Wish.com think that I want to buy a bunch of… I really don’t even know what to call it.

It also worries me a bit that whatever I’m doing on my phone, has led Wish to think that I am the kind of person who would need any of this stuff…

Like this for example:

What is this? Some kind of leg brace you wear to go clubbing? Complete with ventilation hole for your fat, that makes you look like you have a giant blister in need of medical attention? Do I dress like this and was just unaware?

Or what about this?

I didn’t even know what that was, so I googled it. It is not a weight for your toes, it’s bells, for your shoes. What would you even need these  for?? So a blind family member can find you in a crowd?? So you can partake in some type of toe tapping folk band? Who knows, but apparently it is something Wish thought I might like.

Just like they also thought that I might want to take a chicken for a walk.

You know… if I owned a chicken.

Here’s two more things that Wish thought I might like.

Get your mind out of the gutter, it’s dog underwear.

Yep, had to look that up too. Unfortunately, I don’t need this either, seeing as how I don’t have a dog. I do have a husband, but he said he also wouldn’t wear them.

Sorry Wish.

He also says he wouldn’t wear this:

We aren’t sure what it is, or why it’s appearing on my news feed, but neither of us will be buying it anytime soon… or anytime after that.

I also have no clue what this next item is, but Wish has spammed my news feed with it multiple times:

And the same goes for this:

Seriously what on earth are those? Who walks around with twelve… electrodes??… in their ears? And clicking on it doesn’t even give you an item description, so that’s no help.

This keeps popping up too:

I legit can’t even figure out what it is. An inflatable, lighted… igloo? I tried to google it, but came up with nothing.

Wish also seems to think I need this:

Yep, nope. Know what it is, still don’t want it.

Same goes for this:

(Not to judge anyone with collapsing nostrils)

Or this:

I mean I’m no genius, but I’m pretty sure that car seat is not secured correctly.

Now this isn’t the worst idea in the world, but I’m not sure that I have room for an inflatable outdoor pool, that you are apparently supposed to use inside.

Just like I don’t have room for a backyard bubble.

Although it is kind of neat, and for $1000, it can be all yours.

Do you know what else can be all yours? My pregnancy experience.

Here, want to buy a fake belly? Because Wish sells one.

And I’m sure that belly picture right there is going to make all my little Troll fans yell “I knew it! She is a liar! That Eden isn’t even pregnant, because clearly she googled ‘fake belly’ and now her targeted ads are proving it!” but I can assure you, I am pregnant, and I did not google anything about faking a pregnancy, just like I never googled anything in relation to neon toilet seat covers.