Today’s post is sort of just a bunch of randomness.

First off, I was thinking it would be fun if you all wanted to do a little shameless self promotion. I know that a lot of you are bloggers yourself, and I know how hard it is to get readers. I also know it’s bad blogging etiquette to self promote in the comments, but here’s your chance! Have at it people. I think it would be fun to see what everyone else is writing about. Feel free to post your link and a description in the comments section below. You may also post websites you own, flickr accounts, emails if you want to connect with others, facebook or google plus accounts, whatever floats your boat. Please do not post anything offensive, anything of an overly adult nature, anything that might incite a blogging riot, or I will have to delete it. Love you! Except for the person that keeps spamming my site with Dr. Udo’s love potion. I don’t love you and you can just go away.

Secondly, what is on your mind? Yes, YOU. I literally sit down in front of my computer, whatever is on my mind falls out onto the screen, and 20 minutes later boom, that’s what you are all reading for the day. But I’m interested in what you are struggling with. Are there any topics that you would like to see covered? I might not have any helpful tips, but someone on here might, so I wouldn’t mind writing about things that you would like to see, and hope for some really good feedback from others in the comments section. Now let me also throw out there, that just by the sheer volume of readers that are here, it might be impossible to cover every idea thrown at me, so don’t get offended if I can’t write about them all. I’m guessing though that there might be a lot of over lapping idea’s.

Thirdly, (is that even a word? I dunno) what do you enjoy reading? Do you like the heavy hitter emotional pieces? Do you like the humor? What do you want to see more or less of? Point me in the right direction people!

Fourthly (definitely not a word), I see in the comments section a lot of people commenting that they have bookmarked the blog. I love it! I just wanted to let you know, if it is easier for you, you can subscribe to the blog on the right hand side, and you will get an email every time I post. It really makes no difference to me whether you just keep checking the blog or subscribe, I don’t run ads on here or anything where they need to see subscribers, I’m just pointing out that nifty little feature in case you didn’t know about it. I’ve subscribed myself just to make sure that the emails are being sent out, and I can assure you I get no emails other than the blog posts.

Fifthly (Also not a word, but I’m on a roll here) for those of you whom have subscribed by email, when you get the emailed post, if you click on the title it will take you to the actual web posting and you can read the comments or comment yourself. There are so many smart people here, I wouldn’t want you to miss anything! And selfishly I love hearing from you all….

If you’re looking for something with a bit more substance than this fluff post, feel free to pop over to my latest article on XOJane, “I Regret Reporting My Rape.”

But before I go, I just wanted to take a minute to thank everyone that tested out my new “donation” button via paypal. I know how concerned a lot of you were after my last post “On My Way To Homelessness,” and peer pressure in the comments section finally convinced me to add a donation button. I was resistant to do that for a long time, even though many of you have been asking me to do that for quite a while. This blog is not about money, it never will be, and I didn’t want anyone to think that I was just trying to make money off of my readers. I love you all dearly and hope that you will continue to stay here, read, learn, support, and grow, for a very long time. With that being said, thank you all so much for caring about me and my kids. In ONE day you guys donated $400. I am blown away. It wasn’t enough to cover my mortgage, but it’s close enough that I’m thinking if I can get some of my kids toys to sell online this week, I will be able to make the payment. Thanks for giving me such a HUGE jump start you guys!! I tried to personally email everyone that donated so that I could thank you (except for the person that donated $5, your thank you email keeps getting sent back to me!). I was at my son’s therapy appointments Friday morning (even though he is caught up on his skills, because the program he has been in is so intensive, they will slowly phase him out until they release him completely in May), when the donations started flooding in. It made my heart all warm and fuzzy every time my phone chimed with a notification.

***Ok, so I’m in the middle of writing this post (obviously), and the two nutcases are going at each other’s throats on the other side of the wall. He is screaming “HOW DARE YOU, HOW DARE YOU!!!” and she is screaming something so high pitched that the only thing I can make out is “I DON’T CARE!!!” It is overly apparent that they are over there throwing things. Half of me is too distracted and annoyed to keep writing, and the other half of me is extremely interested in what is going on over there, because let’s be honest, who wouldn’t be. So I’m gonna go be creepy and press my ear against the wall for a while.

Ok, I’m back. I actually pressed my ear against the wall and listened in. Apparently he was “backing her up all day” about something and then she was telling everyone that he doesn’t give her what she needs and he is mad because how dare she make him look stupid like that, and she said she doesn’t care. Then something hit the wall and I nearly screamed because my head actually got thumped and it scared me. Then he went tearing out of the house like the place was on fire. Lovely. Not even three months into wedded bliss and it sounds like things are going swimmingly over there. Oh, and did I mention she got pregnant on her honeymoon? I mean I am actually happy for her because I know how badly she wanted a baby, and I have honest to gosh thrown up a few prayers to God that the baby be healthy, but come on, like they are ready for another baby to come into that mess. My only hope is that they will outgrow their house and move. My house is almost exactly double the size of theirs and they will have two adults, a seven year old, a baby, and two big dogs in a small townhouse, so…fingers crossed!!****


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  • jcarson84
    February 10, 2014 at 2:49 am

    Well, I don't have a blog to promote. I started one back in 2010 but let it die after about 8 or 10 posts because I just got lazy, haha.Secondly, the only big thing on my mind is finding a job. I'm employed full-time, got the job 2 months after graduating college and it's in my field. But it's working for a newspaper and as newspapers are dying an excruciatingly painful pace, I'm not sure how much longer my job is going to last. So basically I'm spending my non-work hours fluffing out my resume and sending it to various places NOT in my field because my field is practically non-existent any more. Good times.Thirdly. I love reading just about everything except vampire fiction. Just never got into that at all. One of my favorite books is The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera. And I just recently read a book called When You Were Older that I really enjoyed.Fourthly. I subscribed. Oddly enough, Google seems to have some deep-seeded hatred for me and I don't get your updates until hours later (the post previous to this one didn't show up in my email until several hours after I commented, and I'm pretty sure I left a comment a few hours after you posted). Nothing to do with your blog. Computers and all things related to them just generally don't like me.I'm so glad people were able to help you out. I saw how close you are to your mortgage payment and I really wish I could give more than I did. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and sending all the vibes I can muster your way that things work out. :)That fight between your neighbors sounds ridiculous…and a little entertaining. Does that make me a bad person? I'd have totally listened in as well. We live in a twin and our neighbors have fights frequently as well. I can never make out anything that they're saying, but I've heard things hit the wall before. Sometimes I really wish I could hear them, just for entertainment purposes. Okay yes, I'm a bad person. Egads.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 10, 2014 at 12:45 pm

      For some reason, no matter what time I post the post, I get the email the next morning at five am. So its not just you!

      Ok, so vampire fiction is out. Sorry Sparkles lol!

      I always wanted to work for a newspaper, so I guess I can check that off my dreams list. I would LOVE to be a columist at a magazine or newspaper. Seems like the most fun job ever!!

      Well I totally listened in, so if that makes me a bad person, so be it lol. It was worth it haha!

  • Spider - Man
    February 10, 2014 at 3:52 am

    I have your blog bookmarked, too! Right next to Netflix, so you know it's important.I think everyone loves a combination of everything. The humor, and the hard-hitters. We want to see all sides of you. We want to be a non-judgmental, completely loving and accepting, constant and stable supportive network.And I don't want the neighbors to have a baby. 🙁 I have major anxiety about bad parenting. I don't even know why, my parents are fabulous. But they seem like they'd put that kid through hell.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 10, 2014 at 12:45 pm

      They already have a six year old, its an interesting dynamic. She is a sweet girl, but like for halloween they sent her in heels, mini skirt, and with a fake cigarette, because she wanted to be the bad version of the girl from “greece.” I actually had to have a talk with the mom bc when my daughter at four years old would sleep over she would let them watch PG13 movies. Finally I had to stop letting our girls play together after I caught the two of them in the bushes kissing!! Both girls readily admitted that it was (their daughters) idea to play boyfriend girlfriend. I later asked my daughter if she knew what that meant and she had no idea. Now my kid is FAR from perfect, and far from always well behaved, but come on, that is just not right!!

  • Anonymous
    February 10, 2014 at 6:12 am

    Id like to see a post of a photo tour of your house lol. From the pics you have posted it looks really pretty and im nosey and want to see the rest haha

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 10, 2014 at 12:46 pm

      Lol! I think that would be fun to put together

  • Eden
    February 10, 2014 at 6:16 am

    It's me, Eden, I can't sign in from my phone lol. I just came in here to read the new comment and I see that I put “Greece” instead of “grease” and it's annoying me. The end.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 10, 2014 at 12:45 pm

      I have some anxiety about bad parenting too – and my parents are also great. I know all the good they have done for me and I value it. Guess that’s why.

  • jcarson84
    February 10, 2014 at 11:49 am

    You could totally be a columnist. Do it for a magazine or an online newspaper. I think online news is where everything's headed. My job is to do the actual physical layout of the newspaper. I don't write. I just take the stories other people write, put them on the pages, and try to make the pages look pretty.So as physical newspapers are dying, so is my job. Which is sad because I actually LOVE what I do. But the pay is crap and I just don't see the job lasting all that much longer. Best to apply for something new and get out rather than lose my job and have to live on unemployment.But I really think you could get a job writing somewhere. That'd be awesome. 🙂

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 10, 2014 at 12:45 pm

      Ha, well if you happen to know of any columnist jobs, send them my way!

      Sorry to hear your job field is becoming obsolete. Any idea’s on what you want to do next?

  • Leslie
    February 10, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    Lease blog promotion: Geeky Girl's Guide to Life http://www.geekygirlguide.comI currently have a swollen lymph node and it hurts like a mother bitch.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 10, 2014 at 12:46 pm

      Yay for the blog! Boo for the swollen lymph node 🙁

  • Ruth Cooke
    February 10, 2014 at 3:09 pm

    I first found your blog after reading your first article on XOJane, and I was immediately entranced by your resiliance, your humour, and the very supportive community you've built.Right now, I'm dealing with a father with senile dementia, an alcoholic brother and sister-in-law, an anorexic son-in-law, and an autistic son who's been sick for a month but can't tell us what hurts, so he just bangs holes in the wall. And speaking of holes in the wall, the squirrels have decided that my wall is the perfect place to raise baby squirrels. They've not only burrowed right through the wall (there's a hole in the INSIDE office wall!), but they sometimes sound like your neighbours, only they're speaking squirrel instead of English. (There's all that “life experience” I keep talking about…)I have two blogs:Stepping Out of Poverty: http://steppingoutofpoverty.com/ (I'll leave it to you to figure out what I write about there… 🙂 ) Updated twice weekly, unless my life falls apart…Building An Awesome Life: http://buildinganawesomelife.blogspot.ca/ is my “diary” blog, with posts mainly on spirituality and religion, now that I've separated the financial stuff out.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 10, 2014 at 12:46 pm

      Wow, you are having a rough go of things, aren’t you? I hope that you have a good support network, that is a lot for anyone to deal with. The squirrels!!! Ah!!! I can’t help but laugh, but noooooo!!!

      I’m going to send up a few extra prayers for you, and send you a big squeezy internet hug.

      Thanks for sharing your blogs, I am going to check them out!!

  • windmill
    February 10, 2014 at 4:26 pm

    First – hi. I have been reading your blog for a while, but I tend to lurk rather than comment. Mostly because I tend to think I have nothing useful/helpful to say. Fourthly second 😉 I have your blog bookmarked, but haven't subscribed because I already get more emails than I can handle (no I'm not ridiculously popular, I just sign a hell of a lot of petitions, my partner and I are getting married later this year, and I am crap at organising my emails and responding when I get them. So then there are too many and reading/replying stops happening!)Firstly second, I don't have a blog anymore. I work part-time and I'm a part-time distance-learning Uni student, so I didn't have the time to invest in it and to read and comment on other people's blogs to make it worthwhile. So now I just read a few blogs occasionally. And comment even less often! Secondly – on my mind at the moment. My mind is both busy and boring – you'll wish you hadn't asked. However, as you did… The studying I have to get finished today, the 3 medical appointments I have this week, problems with fertility treatment (my partner and I are trying to get the tests done to just get on a waiting list), various wedding-related organisational things, whether I'm going to report my dad to the police or not – both to try to protect my sister's kids and because I'm mad as hell (I'm a survivor of child sexual abuse), and the 10+ emails I must get around to replying to but keep avoiding as they have an assortment of tricky questions to handle (including why did I cut off contact from my mum last year).Thirdly – I enjoy the variety of your blog. But what drew me here in the first place was your article about disowning your family on XOJane: http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/it-happened-to-me-i-disowned-my-family I guess because I disowned my family too. My dad is an abuser/rapist/paedophile (whatever the best word is or indeed just all of the above) and my mother is a narcissist who even managed to make my aunt's struggles with cancer all about her. Aren't families grand?!I'm not loving the idea of your crazy neighbours having another kid either. In fact I'm not loving the fact that they have a child already. That's not a good environment for a child to grow up in. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things will work out with your house and everything. Hope things start to look up soon.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 10, 2014 at 12:46 pm

      Well aren’t you busy! Congrats on the upcoming wedding 🙂

      I love how you embraced my “thirdly, fourthly…” lol. I love it when I meet people that just go along with the flow of my crazy brain. 🙂

      It sounds like you have a big decision coming up based on what to do with your “dad.” I wish you peace in whatever decision you come too. Feel free to reach out here if you are getting stressed.

      So glad you commented so that I can officially welcome you to the blog. I am glad you are here 🙂

  • windmill
    February 10, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    That should've been Firstly third. Fail.

  • Mzfuzz
    February 10, 2014 at 4:43 pm

    I'm not gonna do thirdlys and fourthlys coz I'll get confused. I'm subscribed to your blog through a feed reader, so I get it immediately. Love it.I read because I enjoy what you have to say, and I think it's a great mix of heavy & emotional & comical. I laughed out loud when you said you got hit through the wall by whatever got thrown. How do you explain THAT black eye? ;)Last, but not least, here's my website….If you ever wanted to ask a cop a question, but were too scared/shy/embarassed/intimidated, here's your chance. http://www.ask-a-cop.netHave an awesome day!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 10, 2014 at 12:46 pm

      Haha, after my heart rate calmed down I totally laughed. He would hit the exact spot on the wall where I had creepily pressed my face.

      I’m totally going to check out your blog, what a neat idea!!! Now I see where the “fuzz” screen name comes from 🙂

  • Amanda Harris
    February 10, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    I'm not much of a blogger, but I have fiction and poetry published in various journals. I'll post a link to my personal favorite: http://fictionaut.com/stories/amanda-harris/letter-for-k–4(TW: contains descriptions of physical abuse)

  • Amanda Harris
    February 10, 2014 at 9:26 pm

    Also, I'm the one who donated $5. Don't worry about the thank you note; it's really no problem!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 10, 2014 at 12:46 pm

      Awesome!! My first paid publications were poetry 🙂

      Thanks for the $5, you rock!! Thank you for caring 🙂

  • Sara A.
    February 10, 2014 at 9:47 pm

    On my mind todayDD has started climbing on everything, except kitchen chairs. This is a relief, otherwise she'd use them to climb onto the counters or to get to the cereal and fruit. She's also started falling, the other side of climbing. I'm also waiting to hear back on an application to a rent controlled apartment. If we get in, we'll be able to move to a bigger apartment in a nicer neighborhood.I'm constantly sewing or knitting something, but I'm very frustrated. I promised myself that February would be Finished Object month, so I can't start anything new. Of course, there are a million new projects that I've thought up in the past 10 days that I simply must get started on. Of course all of my unfinished objects are not nearly as interesting to me as these new ideas.I'm trying to get a jump on spring cleaning. Just as fun as it sounds when you've got a family of three jammed into a 500 sqft 1 bedroom apartment with only one closet. So cleaning and organizing which is great until the child or the husband or the cat is added back into the equation. I'm fully convinced that my living space would be clean and organized without them. Part of that would be due to there not being anything more interesting to do, the other part would be because they both sow chaos behind them.

  • Ruth Cooke
    February 10, 2014 at 10:02 pm

    Finished Object Month? February of what year? :DI need a month like that, too…

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 10, 2014 at 12:46 pm

      Oh my goodness, how do you fit in a 500 sq foot apartment without killing each other!? I can’t even comprehend how you fit a bedroom and a kitchen in there. I need pictures.

      My son has been climbing on everything and its killing me. The other day I turned around and he was on the kitchen counter. Kid is going to break his neck (shakes head). Ugh, why do they do this too us??

      Haha, I love how all your unfinished projects aren’t as exciting as the new ones you think of. That is so funny 🙂

  • Luciana Nogueira Soares
    February 11, 2014 at 12:58 am

    I have some anxiety about bad parenting too – and my parents are also great. I know all the good they have done for me and I value it. Guess that's why.

  • Sara A.
    February 11, 2014 at 3:17 pm

    How to live in a 500 sq ft apartment without killing each other:1. Live with your husband (then boyfriend) in a 100 sqft room for a summer. Survive and get engaged.2. Have a husband who is gone for 12 hours a day3. Have an unplanned pregnancy and be unable to afford to move. You'll be surprised at what you can live with when you don't have much of a choice.4. Invest in a closet organizer, wall-to-wall shelving, under-bed storage, and large chests. Forgo nightstands in favor of putting one dresser on either side of the bed. Instead of a changing table, a dresser with a changing pad on top.5. Try to keep a 1 in 1 out rule. For every item that enters, 1 must leave. 6. Become a stop on the hand-me-down train. Unfortunately, I'm currently the last stop. I need to make friends with a woman who has a 5-7 month old daughter so I can give her my kid's outgrown clothes.Has your son tried gargoyling yet? My daughter likes to climb onto the narrow arm of my easy chair and perch there like a gargoyle, balancing. It's important to remember that kids are pretty much made of rubber at this age. With what you've been through with his health, it must be particularly nerve-wracking. I'd take heart, he's behaving like a perfectly normal 2 year old.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 11, 2014 at 12:47 pm

      Haha, there is a name for that! Gargoyling, love it. He falls alllll the time. I’m like “are you bleeding? No? Ok, shake it off.” Parenting at its finest right there my friend.

      You should be on that show “small space, big style” Hey, if you guys can keep from killing each other there, you can probably make it anywhere!

  • Cathrine
    February 11, 2014 at 8:25 pm

    Hey!I don't really remember how I found your blog, might have been through reddit but i'm not sure. I'm very glad I found it though!I like reading everything you write, the happy, the sad, part where i can laugh at the crazy and parts where i can cry because of the horrible. The way you write is really nice, easy to read and flowing, so keep at it!I don't have a blog since I don't have much interesting to say, I am going through a very hard time right now though, going through a divorce and not having a job (seems no one wants to give me one either, sent hundreds of applications but no answers, not even a no), not really having anywhere to live and getting thrown out from my familys places. But reading your blog gives me hope that i can get through it, so thank you very very much! <3

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 11, 2014 at 12:47 pm

      Well however you came to be here, I’m glad you came 🙂

      Job hunting is so frustrating 🙁 I’m also sorry to hear about the divorce!

      Whatever you are going through, you will get through it 🙂 Feel free to reach out here if you need to talk.

      Love and hugs

  • toni choate
    February 11, 2014 at 9:12 pm

    http://ladytandtheboys.blogspot.com/shameless self-promotion, yay! :Pas always, love to read up on you & those sweet kids. :))

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 11, 2014 at 12:47 pm

      Thanks for sharing!!

  • Meshelle Ross
    February 20, 2014 at 3:03 am

    You know I got ya bookmarked but I still keep finding stuff I've missed somewhere or 'nother.

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