I Am Just Not Cut Out For This
Anyways, everything was great until we got to the corn maze. By “corn maze” I am referring to the over five miles of corn that has been plowed into something that resembles a mouse maze in a science lab. The thing is so intense that not only do they make you sign in so that they can account for how many people go in and how many come out, they make you sign in with emergency contact numbers. That way if you disappear in there they can easily let your next of kin know where to find your dehydrated body come spring. They even ask that you have your phone fully charged and then they tell you how to find their emergency phone points where you can call and be like ‘I’M AT MILE TWO, SEND THE HELICOPTER!”
Do you know what sucks more than being lost in a corn maze in the rain?
Really, it was fantastic.
Hey, it wasn’t the experience that I was looking for but it was definitely one that will go down in the books! I’m not sure that any of us will be forgetting that day anytime soon. I didn’t get the fall photo that I was looking for, but I did get one of the Girl Child looking like swamp thing, a few with all the kids crying in the corn maze, and one of the boy child near naked in the backseat of the car.
Good times all around, am I right?
|It is every best friends job to take a picture of you when you are having a moment, so that they can immortalize that moment forever.|
I have to say, I always envisioned a pumpkin patch as a cute little 4×6 square with cute little orange pumpkins all ready for picking. Yea, reality has now ruined that festive image for me.
I spent the next thirty minutes waiting for the farmer to return, praying that we didn’t get some sort of crop parasite, and watching my children
get dirty harvest pumpkins.
While they were doing
disgusting things that kids do, I shuffled around like a Kardashian in Walmart; totally out of my element and mostly horrified. Eventually I found a pumpkin that I was willing to touch seemed decent enough for the family photo I felt I deserved at this point wanted to get.