I Hurted Mah-Self


I hurted mah-self doing the twerk.
Twerk much?
Too much.

My friend asked me to fill in for her and teach her twerking class over the weekend. Did you know there was such a thing as a twerking class? I did not right up until that moment. I’ve taught a bit of twerking in my strip dance class, but I didn’t know you could take a class specifically for twerking. That was a new one, even for me…

Even though I was in no mood to be teaching a dance class after the last few days I’ve had, I can’t really pass up any work right now so I took off my big girl clothes and went to work (see what I did there, with the joke…with the play on a common phrase…)


I learned something in class yesterday.
I learned that twerking for a few minutes is much different than twerking for an hour straight.
I think I broke my lower back.
Just kidding, it is pretty sore though. Not sore enough to really slow me down, but definitely sore enough for all my friends to make fun of me.

I do not think I realized how much lower back motion was involved in twerking and after an hour straight, I dunno what happened. I guess all that repetitive thrusting motion broke my back (which is why when performing any uh…twerking…motion, it’s important to change up the position every once and a while…or so I’ve heard…)
It doesn’t help that because of my genetic condition I am super flexible so my joints move really easily. Not just dancer flexible, I’m talking like circus contortionist flexible.
In this position I can actually reach my hands up and fix my hair. It freaks the hell out of people.

I’ve often thought it would be funny to teach a yoga class and just pretend like everyone is supposed to be able to get into whatever weird position I come up with just so I could watch them in all their confused and failed attempts to perform the “pretzel pose.”
Seriously, wouldn’t that be funny? In the standing position I can easily put one leg on my shoulder and wrap it behind my head (get yer heads outta the gutter people) and I think it would be so funny to watch a class full of genetically-normal people attempt to do that. Kind of like the time I told The Boy Child he could have a cookie if he could lick his ear (No, even I cannot lick my ear, I just thought it would be funny to watch him try. I was right). I have a solid four minute video of that kid crossing his eyes in five different directions while he tried to get his tongue up there.
I’m probably some kind of evil bitch…but hey, at least I’m funny. 

(For the record, he was unable to lick his ears but I still gave him a cookie anyways and then an extra one for the effort)

So yesterday I got hurt shaking my ass which just tops off how wonderful and ironic this week has been. I then received mail that I really wish I had not opened (Can you believe it? For once my mail was not stolen and I wish it had been. WHAT IS IRONY’S INFATUATION WITH ME!?)

Speaking of irony, The Daddy Daughter Dance was amazing, or so I’m told. 
I had to laugh because she came home with a stuffed frog prince, which just goes along swimmingly with the Disney example I used in the last blog post about how her fairytale would end at midnight and she would go back to being fatherless.
Jokes aside, in all actuality it couldn’t have gone any better. Two days later and she is still beaming from ear to ear about the whole thing. It’s amazing really, what even one night can do for a little girl. She felt so amazing, so special, that it really will help her set the bar for what she expects in the future. She will remember that night, I know she will, and I hope that when she does start dating that the way she felt will have had a lasting impression on what she expects from the boys she meets.
I can be a lot of things for her but a man is not one of them and I am truly blessed to have friends who are willing to be the roll model for her that I can’t be.
So as you can see, this weekend has been a little bit crazy. Fairytale dances, ass shaking injuries, unexpected mail, and dealing with the fallout from Friday.
I’m still not ready to talk about Friday though and that’s ok. After the last post I got a lot of worried (and thoughtful) emails from concerned readers wondering if I was ok, and the fact of the matter is that no, I’m not ok.
I’m really not ok.
But I will be.
It’s ok to not be ok sometimes. I realize that is the place I’m in right now but more importantly I realize that it’s not a place I’m going to be in forever. 
This isn’t the end, this is just the beginning of something new, and that, that I will be ok with.
Just not today.
But I will be. 
Even the strongest need to take a break sometimes, not because they are giving up, but because they are gathering strength for the challenge ahead.

I’ll be ok, just not today.

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25 Comments

  • Evelyn
    February 23, 2015 at 5:06 pm

    Can we have pictures of your flexibility? Can you put your foot/ankle behind your head while sitting down and take a pic of it? Can you scratch your own back all over? I can't do the pose in the picture, I can put my hands together behind my back but they're pointing down and my wrists are at my butt. One thing I can do that most people cant is sit cross legged and touch my big toe to my nose while mostly standing up (have to bend over some) but I suspect it's because I always sit cross legged so didn't lose that flexibility.Good to know you will be ok eventually. Here are more hugs if you need them *hugs*

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 23, 2015 at 1:55 am

      Ha, I think one flexibility pic is enough, I don’t want to post anything too suggestive looking! There really is no angle that pose wouldn’t look a little raunchy in! Yes, I can scratch my back all over.

      Thanks for the hugs 🙂

  • Spider - Man
    February 23, 2015 at 10:44 pm

    Can you post like a gif or something of you twerking? Not being pervy, but I really just can't imagine such a white woman being so good at twerking that she can teach a class.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 23, 2015 at 1:55 am

      Haha! That would be even more suggestive than the request above lol. Hey, I didn’t say I regularly teach the class, I was just filling in. Maybe I suck and that’s why I hurt my back! FYI though that woman that was all over the news as being the best twerker, the one who quit her full time job as a teacher bc she was making so much money twerking, she was white! I’m not saying we have cornered the market or anything, but I guess color doesn’t matter that much!

      • NotMyShametoBear
        February 23, 2015 at 10:44 am

        Ha, re-reading this comment all my exclamation points look like I was yelling (!!!). There needs to be a “talking with excitment” font lol.

  • CD
    February 24, 2015 at 4:04 am

    Ugh Eden, I hate how you're going through so much right now. Fortunately I've been sensing some positive energy where I am, so I'll be trying to transfer some to you. Like everyone else I do want to know, but realize you're not ready to talk about it yet. Those of us who care can and will wait.Just remember, “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to twerk in the rain.” Or something like that?Bottom line: Keep Calm and Miley On!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 23, 2015 at 10:44 am

      That comment had me laughing.

      Thanks for that 🙂

  • Anonymous
    February 24, 2015 at 8:14 am

    The suggestion of making a twerking gif gets you excited? You know what needs to be done.

  • Anonymous
    February 24, 2015 at 12:42 pm

    She turned that down and was “excitedly” pointing out that all twerkers are not black.

  • CD
    February 24, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    Well then mission accomplished! 😀

  • Katy Anders
    February 25, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    “It's ok to not be ok sometimes.” A lot of people don't understand that at all. You're supposed to be bummed out when bad things happen. Even if something bad did not happen, moods happen. I try and remember that and not immediately start thinking my moods are some sort of psych/medical condition that needs to be addressed. Of course, if I were that flexible, I'd be happy all of the time.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      March 3, 2015 at 6:50 am

      Exactly!! Constantly happy people scare me a little bit sometimes….

  • Butterfly14
    February 25, 2015 at 7:38 pm

    “Twerking in the Rain”…..love it. The new 2015 version of Gene Kelly “Singing in the Rain”! Ah, but I'm dating myself. Thanks for the laugh

  • CD
    February 25, 2015 at 9:32 pm

    I'm twerking in the rain… just twerking in the rain! What a glorious feeling, I'm jiggling again, I'm bouncing!!And you're not dating yourself, that movie is a classic!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      March 3, 2015 at 6:50 am

      You guys are crazy and I love it

  • afairytale84
    February 25, 2015 at 11:27 pm

    Twerking classes exist? I had no idea!It is absolutely okay to not be okay sometimes. So many people either don't understand that or can't, for whatever reason, accept that fact. I grew up in a family that prided itself on the fact that EVERYTHING IS FINE. EVERYTHING IS OKAY. NOTHING IS EVER EVER EVER WRONG!!! when in fact there was a lot wrong. We just weren't allowed to talk about it. Or even acknowledge it.It's taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that it's okay for me not to be okay sometimes. It's okay for EVERYONE to not be okay sometimes. Because it's impossible for anyone to be okay all of the time.*hugs*I'm so glad your daughter had a such a great time at the father daughter dance. What a great guy that man is to do that for her. 🙂

    • NotMyShametoBear
      March 3, 2015 at 6:52 am

      I swear, these days you can find a class for anything!

      That’s exactly like my father, “everything is ok because we will just pretend it is” meanwhile people are harboring murderous thoughts at each other and seething under their breath. Conflicts happen, it’s a big part of how we learn who we are, how to resolve things, what our boundaries are, and how to have effective commmunication. We need to not be ok sometimes so that we can become a healthier version of “ok!”

      Yes, we are very blessed to have good friends 🙂

  • Anonymous
    March 1, 2015 at 7:08 pm

    Are you o.k.? This is the longest time you've gone without posting anything new… am worried about you?!?!?!?!!!!!

  • R_Cheng
    March 2, 2015 at 1:28 am

    I am suspecting that something bad has happened…

    • NotMyShametoBear
      March 1, 2015 at 10:05 am

      I’m here! It was a rough week :/ I just turned my email notifications back on tonight. New post tomorrow, I’m so sorry I worried you guys 🙁

  • Jennifer Holter
    March 2, 2015 at 2:40 am

    I am a concerned too. I hope everything is ok. Sending prayers and hugs just in case.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      March 1, 2015 at 10:46 am

      Thanks love, new blog post tomorrow. I’ve missed you guys 🙂

  • CD
    March 2, 2015 at 4:42 am

    I was getting to the point where I thought I should say something too… good to see you on here again Eden. Anxiously awaiting the new post!

  • afairytale84
    March 2, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    I was going to post as well. Glad to see you're still here. 🙂

    • NotMyShametoBear
      March 3, 2015 at 6:53 am

      Thanks guys. I didn’t intend to worry anyone but it was nice to be missed!!

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