The Hack

Oh my gosh, I do not want to talk about the trolls anymore!!! I’m so over the trolls but I know that a lot of you are waiting to hear about what happened in regards to Saturdays post about the hack, and the hack was initiated by someone trying to figure out more about my real life identity, so here we go again.

Come, join me under the bridge.

So….the hack.

Well I was able to trace it back and to my surprise, it wasn’t stemming from the “Answers” post, that’s just what they used as a pathetic cover. It actually stemmed from this article “Don’t Pretend Your Kid Has Allergies And Be Surprised When Other Parents Hate You.” That article was written by a blogger named Maria Guido in response to an article that I had written that ran on the homepage of Yahoo (and before that on YourTango).

Homepage of Yahoo!! Yay! Right?

Except that when articles run on Yahoo it’s not atypical for other bloggers to want in on the discussion as well and so to do that they write a rebuttal post. It’s fine, tons of writers do it, I’ve done it, it’s not abnormal, except for when they mislead.

To fit her agenda Maria edited my original article to completely change my point. She quoted me in a long paragraph saying that “I cringe when I see other kids eating a cupcake” but “forgot” to leave in the entire point of that sentence, “that I realize my judgments are wrong and I should not be making them.”

Basically she portrayed me as a complete bitch just so she could write a rebuttal post.


Her readers called her on it.

Which is unusual because readers tend to be very loyal.

So I popped into the comments over there, chatted with some of the readers, and then it started; the trolling. I won’t say who it was but I have my suspicions, which were even more confirmed by a posting that was put on GOMI this afternoon by a 1st time commentor urging people to go look at the article on Mommyish that “one of our bloggers put up about Eden.” 

*COUGH*  *COUGH*  Eh Hem.

So then the hacking started and thankfully they didn’t get into anything important, but what they did get into was an old account that my ex and I had together; one that I had not even remembered existed until that moment and one that thankfully had pretty much no information tied to it.

Now here’s a secret, my real name isn’t a complete secret, I’ve seen it pop up among others in different threads where people speculate on who I am, but at this point I’m supposedly like five different people. (At one point they even had Mr. Attorney Man pegged as a female and then later as some totally other random attorney, but hey, THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT.) Trolls come to this blog all the time and post that they “know” me. They claim that our kids go to school together or that we are neighbors and it always ends in the same kind of way; “And I just can’t believe you are doing this” or “and you are such a liar.” They attach a name to their claim, whatever one is my supposed current identity that they’ve seen posted on a thread somewhere, and they try to pretend as if they know me. I even had one troll come on here and spam the site saying that we were “friends in real life, please stop doing this, and do you have a phone number that I can reach you at so we can talk about this?”

-NEWSFLASH- anyone can claim anything but only some people can really prove it. You can hack into my private accounts, you can throw a few names around that you’ve found online, you can make it look like you know me based on the little info you have, but my overwhelming evidence is always going to trump your game. I write for several large companies that required proof of my claims and verification of my past before I was allowed to write for them. I even had lunch with my YourTango editor a couple of weeks ago when she happened to be traveling through an area not far from where I live. I wouldn’t have done that if I had so much to hide. I told my real-life friends about the blog and then they came on here and vouched for me. Mr. Attorney Man not only verifies my claims when needed but is co-authoring a book with me. Do you think he would really put his career on the line for a fraud? Don’t you think he made sure to have proof before he joined me on this?

I once asked a well known entertainment lawyer who was assisting me in some of my writing work if I could be held liable in a defamation of character suit should my ex or my parents sue me for talking about them on this blog. His answer?

“No because truth is the best defense.”

And you know what?

He is right.

I am well aware of the risks that I am taking when I write this blog. If I thought my name getting out was going to ruin my life then at the very least I would have the comments on my blog set to moderator approval only.

I do not live under a rock. I watched the author of  “A Million Little Pieces” fall to shame when his past was exposed as fiction. I’ve seen countless news stories of people who have pretended to be sick or have sick children in order to gain sympathy and fill some sort of very real void in their lives. In fact I myself was an avid reader of a blog about a sick little girl named Dakota and her loving mother Emily. I cried for that little girl with every post her mother put up and then when her mother was arrested for intentionally making Dakota sick to gain sympathy from readers, I cried harder. I’ve seen the stories, I’ve watched the falls.

I’ve seen it enough to know that the lies always come out and when they do, their lives tend to explode around them.

And yet…I’m still here. 

When we first started writing our book, Mr. Attorney Man and I had a long talk about whether or not to use my real name. “Do we link it to the nonprofit?” I asked. “It’s such a great cause and it would be amazing to get the organization’s name out there on a larger scale. Should I just put my real name on the book? I don’t really have anything to hide and people will know who I am eventually anyways. Maybe I could just reveal everything in the book.” 

I won’t tell you just yet what we decided but in the meantime I would like to remind the trolls that despite the fact that I write under a pen name, the overwhelming evidence of my life supports me and not your fantastical opinions based on what you believe. Enough legitimate people have checked out my story, people who were actually given access to my info, and have deemed me truthful.

I really am a domestic abuse survivor. I really did survive child abuse. My husband abandon us, I’m poor as dirt, we have a medical condition that creates the need for a crazy diet, and yet…

You are the one I feel sorry for.

No really, it’s true. I’m spending my life trying to help people live their best lives and you are simply trying to bring someone down. Despite overwhelming evidence that aides my claims, you have some twisted hero complex that you are going to save Internet land from Eden Strong. You are an abuser. You may not believe that since in your mind you are just sitting on the other side of a computer, but in reality you are doing nothing but trying to hurt someone for the simple fact that you want to and that makes you a bully; an abuser.

That’s really sad.

I guess I don’t really understand what you are trying to gain from this. I mean literally, what would make you happy? What exactly are you waiting for to happen? The real people in my life, friends, my new family, the people that I work for or with, they know that I write this blog. Even those that don’t know exactly which blog it is know a great deal about what I’ve written here. It’s not like anyone is going to be shocked to find out about it because they already know. I’m not going to go running in shame and pull the blog down if it becomes unequivocally linked to my real life identity. I won’t be over here fuming and clenching my fists that you “won” because that’s just not who I am. Literally the only thing that’s going to happen is that me and my children will have a little less protection from the rest of the entire world and I’ll have to worry about my safety and theirs a little more than I already do. If that’s what would make you happy then I would urge you to seek help. 

I have a mental image of someone sitting in front of a computer and saying “I know who Eden Strong is!! No one else does, but I do!! I’m the WINNER!!”

So listen up Troll people and people who wrongly do not consider themselves to be trolls, but rather someone out to save the world from me, I don’t want to banish you from my blog. In fact I would encourage you to stay because what you are doing is not normal. If I have so many real life people vouching for me yet you still choose to simply believe that I am a fraud, then I really think you should stay here and try to figure out what is making you so irritated because honestly, it’s not me. Whatever bothers you so much about me is less about me and more about you. If I were you I would focus more on your real life than on mine but seriously, stay here and try to learn a little something about yourself!

So in short, to wrap this all up, if you think you know who I am, good for you. I would appreciate it if you would keep it to yourself for two reasons. The first being that I keep seeing my name tied to someone that is not me and an attorney that is not Mr. Attorney Man, Those people don’t even know who I am and you are wrongly tying their names to a blog they may not wish to be a part of for personal and professional reasons. The second reason being that I really do work with domestic abuse victims as well as being one of them. I would appreciate your help in protecting my identity because not only do I not want the entire world to know who I am, or to tip off my ex that I’m writing about him, but I do run the risk of having a bunch of abusers pissed off at me that I’m helping their former partner get away from them and I would rather they not know such intimate details of my life. If you simply cannot do that and still want to expose not only me but my two children as well, then maybe you do need to be here because you have a lot to work on.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I don’t write under my real name because I am trying to keep my kids safe and to keep myself safe for my kids. Nothing more, nothing less.

If you find yourself hacking into my accounts just to try and gather information on me, you are not only crazy, but you are also a criminal and I’m pretty sure that tops the fact that I’m an annoying blogger. If you find yourself coming to my blog day after day in an attempt to expose who you think I am, then maybe you need to do a little work exposing what is really going on with you.

Truth be told, you aren’t the only one who can figure out who “anonymous” is on the internet. P.S. that applies to you, the ex husband that is currently reading my blog only because in the course of stalking your ex wife you found out that she reads it. I know you are here and so does she.

At least I don’t have anything to be ashamed of.

I’m not going away simply because you want me to. 

Anyways, I hope you all had a great weekend!

I’ve had just about enough of this troll drama lately and so tomorrow we are going to jump right into it and get back to our regularly scheduled programming. It’s time to bring this blog back to the place of healing it was meant to be.

Photo Credit
Sad Face

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  • Anonymous
    February 2, 2015 at 9:03 am

    What websites does this drama go down on? Would it be better to not participate in them?

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 2, 2015 at 7:06 am

      It wasn’t even a big site like Facebook or an email account or anything, it was something really stupid which is why I had forgotten the account even existed.

  • Anonymous
    February 2, 2015 at 9:04 am

    I don't like how you use shame on the trolls. Isn't that, like, the opposite value of your blog?

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 2, 2015 at 7:07 am

      Actually since my blog is titled “it’s not MY shame to bear,” I think I’m pointing out that it’s not my shame lol, it’s the abusers. So yea, kinda gonna shame the bully’s on this one….

  • Anonymous
    February 2, 2015 at 12:44 pm


    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 2, 2015 at 7:09 am


  • Stephanie
    February 2, 2015 at 1:43 pm

    You shouldn't shame something shameful? Really? The reason there are people who think its ok to be that way is because no one speaks up about it! If you don't like her then don't read her blog, its as simple as that. They could mind their own business since I don't see her trying to do anything wrong, her message is about helping abused people not trying to get people to send her money. So even if she was lying at least its for a good cause not to rip people off. I think more people just need to find something productive to do in their own lives so they have less time to hate.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 2, 2015 at 7:09 am

      Right? You don’t like me, I’m only one click away from being outta your face lol. Its your issue if you choose to stick around and get annoyed. (shakes head) I simply do not understand lol

  • Mzfuzz
    February 2, 2015 at 1:49 pm

    Double Amen. She's using shame because she's tried about a billion other tactics, and none of them have worked. In fact, it appears that it encouraged them. And let's be honest….These people have done things they should be ashamed of!!!!!!! Maybe they need it pointed out in black and white that their acts are shameful, so that they'll take a look at what's going on and figure some shit out. Pointing out the truth of what people do isn't shaming. It's being truthful. I agree, Eden. Back to regularly scheduled programming!! *hugs*

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 2, 2015 at 7:09 am


  • Anonymous
    February 2, 2015 at 7:45 pm

    So are you gonna put up the answers to reader questions now that the dust has settled?

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 2, 2015 at 7:10 am

      I will. I think I’m going to edit a few things out and put it back up. It’s sad but I almost just don’t feel like sharing as much now 🙁

  • Anonymous
    February 2, 2015 at 10:20 pm

    Exactly! (I.e., “what they said”!) ;-)So wait, you're saying that the evil destroyer took offense to something that was actually posted on a totally different website and not even in the post that you had to take down? (So we all got robbed of the chance to read your answers to our questions because somebody was miffed about people's eating preferences and/or mommy judg-ee attitudes?!)Wow, that's just (incredulous headshake here) wacko! (Them, not you.)O.k., now that you (hopefully? at least sort of?) straightened that out… could we get the original deleted post back where you had replied to everyone's original questions/comments? (Or at least a new paraphrase of it or something?)Since right now I kind of feel like I did as a kid when one kid misbehaved and the teacher punished the whole class for it (–quick aside here, do they still do that any more? Hopefully not, huh? As I realize that was way back before political correctness and anti-bullying and all the rest of the new trends…) ??I just mean, I would've loved to have read your post, and I certainly didn't have any issue with any of the questions/comments, so basically feel like one pathetic whiner/bully/abuser spoiled things for the rest of us. So now I'm just hoping you go ahead and re-post or re-answer or whatever? 🙂 ?????

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 2, 2015 at 7:12 am

      I’m going to put an abbreviated version back up probably later this week or this weekend. Even the post itself was causing people to fight in the comments section (the pro-life pro-choice question had quite the little argument going on already). I need a couple days break from the controversy lol!!

  • Anonymous
    February 2, 2015 at 10:24 pm

    Wait… actually I think I did get to see the original post, come to think of it, but it was really late and I'm not sure I really read it (can't remember what you did/didn't answer, so if I did get to see it then I have to say I didn't pay enough attention… I open several windows at once on my computer, and I'm lazy about them, as well as falling asleep, since it's usually quite late when I manage to steal some time to play on line.) 😛

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 2, 2015 at 7:12 am

      Too funny. I replied above 🙂

  • Anonymous
    February 2, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    #1 – People are so stupid & I'm sorry you have to keep trying to justify EVERYTHING to everyone because people are stupid :)#2 – I missed your reader question post & hope you will re-post because your actual readers were excited for it :)#3 – Please don't let all the stupid people as referenced in #1 pull you down because I love reading about your life & admire the way you handle everything that has been thrown your way 🙂

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 2, 2015 at 7:14 am

      Aw thanks. 🙂 Yea this just really shoke me. I’m going to put it back up after I’ve had a couple days to breath, but probably in an abbreviated version. It just really made me sad to see how mean someone could be (I really should be used to this by now).

      Thank you for your kind words 🙂


  • afairytale84
    February 2, 2015 at 11:26 pm


    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 2, 2015 at 7:14 am

      Need them!! Thanks!

  • Zoddbrah
    February 3, 2015 at 1:16 am

    Internet drama…just can't escape it lol

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 2, 2015 at 1:20 am

      Dude I can’t get away from drama anywhere lol!

  • Spider - Man
    February 3, 2015 at 7:20 am

    I read some of the discussions on those websites, and honestly, my mind is blown. I can understand SOME of the stuff they say, even if it's not true, because people will always have a bone to pick with something published online. But some of the stuff they say and “speculate” about is so RIDICULOUS. Like wtf even? It honestly doesn't even make sense. Like they were bagging on you and your “special snowflake super secret diet.” Lmao have they never heard of a kid having an illness and needing dietary accommodations?

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 2, 2015 at 8:02 am

      Yea that special snowflake diet person was insane lol. Love how she posted it, no one responded, so she went back a day or two later to clairify her link. In other words “Come on guys, hate with me!! I don’t like Eden commenting on “our” articles on Mommyish, back me up!!”

  • Zoddbrah
    February 5, 2015 at 10:39 am

    Had a look at that thread and from a devil's advocate point of view, I can understand why people can be skeptical regarding the stuff that's happened to you. It's so crazy that it's almost unbelievable. But you got to look at evidence. You've got pics of your bruised face so it's not hard to believe you're a victim of domestic abuse. It seems that there is an actual nonprofit that exists that you established. About the other stuff that can't be proven, doesn't really matter. This is a blog about someone who's been a victim of abuse and their general venting/expressing space, that's confirmed.It's your blog, post whatever you want. As a famous pair of YouTube fitness twins once said, “Do whatever the FUCK you wanna do!!!”

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 5, 2015 at 8:41 am

      Oh for sure, I say all the time that I’m not sure I would believe it if I wasn’t living it, but at the same time there is enough evidence that someone should at least be open to the possibility that it is, and at the very least cautious enough to not be so callously mean.

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