You Never Noticed Me


The visions can be illusions, the truth hidden by a mirage. 
What is, isn’t always what is, what was, isn’t always what was.
The memories trick, the photos mislead, the things you saw were lies, 
because what was really happening was hidden from your eyes.
You saw me growing up, you saw me as I grew, 
but the life that I was leading was a life you never knew.
The things you saw were fronts while the truth was hidden away,
the memories you have of me were of a truth that went astray.
I played along with what you knew,
 partaking in your view
of a life I wasn’t leading, 
my only life you knew.
I’m older now and looking back I see where things went wrong,
because every time you saw me I would simply play along.
I wanted the life you thought I had,
I wanted it so bad,
that I spent my precious years of youth
desperately hiding you from the truth.
I’m older now and looking back my heart is filled with pain,
because everything I hid from you was nothing I would gain.
In my naivety I thought that if I let you see 
only what I wanted to that somehow I’d be free.
It didn’t matter what I wanted it would simply never be,
because what I needed most was for you to notice me.

Sometimes the kids that need us to notice them the most,
 are the ones who are trying the hardest not to be seen.

Stop Child Abuse

Look for what you aren’t seeing in the things they just aren’t showing you.




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13 Comments

  • Jennifer Holter
    February 9, 2015 at 4:15 pm

    I can relate to this. Thanks so much for posting. 🙂

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 10, 2015 at 10:15 am

      Thanks hun 🙂

  • CD
    February 9, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    This is just what I needed to read right now. Now that I've started to open up about the past to my father's side of the family, they have told me about things they observed my mother do before I was old enough to realize. All these years, I wondered why she did the things she did – it never occurred to me how it was all about hiding her alcoholism and general inability to be a mother. And after months of silence, I decided I'm finally ready to talk to her, that I'm going to go to my parents' house and do it this weekend. Now that I have this greater understanding, I feel like it's only now that I can officially put it in the past, as I have been trying to do since first leaving my hometown seven years ago. Just hoping it will work out in real life as well as it does in my mind.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 10, 2015 at 7:24 am

      Wow, good luck!! I hope it goes well for you. Don’t be surprised if she doesn’t take any responsibility or show remorse, sometimes people caught off gaurd just get very defensive 🙁

      I will be thinking of you!

  • Steven Theiss
    February 9, 2015 at 10:14 pm

    A very thought-provoking poem, Eden! We all wear multiple persona's every day in order to hide parts of who we are from other people, and even from ourselves. I don't think we ever really truly know another person, and I think we know ourselves less than we often imagine. Your poem is a good reminder to pay better attention to the people around us, and not assume that what we see is what is really there. It's just too easy to brush aside the hints of something gone wrong in a child's life, so that you don't have to trouble yourself to intervene.Hugs to you!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 10, 2015 at 7:26 am

      Thanks 🙂 It’s sad how many people are struggling and other people just don’t notice. We are all so busy we take everything at face value. Like the co-worker who you say “good morning how are you?” to everyday and they always reply “Im good how are you?” and then they commit suicide. 🙁 So many struggling people! 🙁

  • afairytale84
    February 10, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    *hugs*

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 10, 2015 at 7:22 am

      *Hugs* back at ya!

  • NotMyShametoBear
    February 21, 2015 at 8:50 am

    I think it’s a good idea to be aware. Not assume, but be aware. I’m not a child abuse expert so honestly I don’t know anymore than the general public does on what to look for, but if someone has abuse suspicions I would absolutely advise them to report it to local authorities. Anyone can make an anonymous report.

    Here is a link with signs that may be a tip off to child abuse. I hope it helps!

    http://www.safehorizon.org/page/10-signs-of-child-abuse-58.html

  • Anonymous
    February 21, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    I appreciate that child abuse is often hidden and very common. But do you think it's a good idea to assume kids are being abused? There is a major liability there so most people will not do anything even if they suspect it is the case. What signs should we look for and how can we use the knowledge to help the child? Can you please write a post about how you would advise people to intervene?

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 21, 2015 at 8:50 am

      I think it’s a good idea to be aware. Not assume, but be aware. I’m not a child abuse expert so honestly I don’t know anymore than the general public does on what to look for, but if someone has abuse suspicions I would absolutely advise them to report it to local authorities. Anyone can make an anonymous report.

      Here is a link with signs that may be a tip off to child abuse. I hope it helps!

      http://www.safehorizon.org/page/10-signs-of-child-abuse-58.html

  • Anonymous
    February 23, 2015 at 12:17 pm

    Beautiful and touching I wish someone had noticed what I was going through as a kid too. Some people did find out but decided to partake by watching the abuse. Some people I even wrote letters to. But no one did nothing#NOFAMILY

    • NotMyShametoBear
      February 23, 2015 at 1:52 am

      I’m sorry no one noticed you 🙁 You didn’t deserve that.

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