Mr. Attorney Man And I Almost Died (not really but almost)
In the end it was decided that if my ex showed up we would request a continuance on the case and if he didn’t show up, Mr. Attorney Man assured me that the order would be “rubber stamped through” (meaning that it would be automatically extended and I wouldn’t have to really talk to the judge) and then it should take a few days before he would even be served with the order, so that would buy me a little time.
I then got ridiculously lost on the way to the courthouse.
Mr. Attorney Man was all “whoa, are you OK?” and I’m all “dude if I actually fall, please take a picture because I’m going to need it for the blog.”
I was starting to feel the butterflies stir in my stomach and was seriously wondering how angry Mr. Attorney Man might be if I left without telling him, but before I had time to fully consider what it might be like to see his head explode, a courthouse cop approached the guy who was standing directly in front of me.
Understanding my unfortunate place in society as a woman, I get that there’s a fine line between standing up for yourself against the creeps and trying not to infuriate them, and in that moment I wasn’t exactly sure where that line was.
GLAD THAT’S NOT HAPPENING.
Finally breaking free of his watch and grossly inappropriate bench snuggles, my complete and utter inability to shut the hell up finds me asking “so what are you here for today?”
“WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ANYTHING IN HERE?” Mr. Attorney Man asked in shock and disgust.
“But dude,” I found myself thinking, “I’m a ballet dancer. I can leap across a stage on my toes and I nearly bit the dust on the sidewalk this morning, so thanks but no thanks, I do not wish to kill you.”
Because it’s me, I felt no reason to explain why I was doing this, which in turn meant that Mr. Attorney Man thought I was losing my mind.
Limbs flailing, the whole scha-bang.
I think I’ll stick with the railing.
Thankfully we made it to the car in one piece and an hour later I was at my next meeting and starting to get a little freaked out that my ex was going to be served with the order soon.