I Got To Ride In An Ambulance


Yesterday I was having lunch with a fellow nonprofit board member, and as I usually do, when the waitress came I asked if the restaurant had any gluten free options. To my excitement, they had a whole gluten free menu.

SCORE! 

Unfortunately when my burger came, my supposedly gluten free bun looked IDENTICAL to my friend’s gluten one, so naturally I became suspicious. Wanting to confirm with the waitress, I asked her if mine was gluten free. When she paused and then said “uuuummmm…… yeeeeesssss. Yeeessss it issss,” I became even more suspicious.

And did not want to touch that thing with a ten foot pole.

Deciding that I wanted a second opinion on this burger that may or may not contain gluten, my friend and I sat, and waited, and sat and waited, and then waited some more, until ANYONE at all would come to check on us so we could inquire about my now cold hamburger. When it got to the point that my friend was done eating and no one had come back to the table, and I suggested that maybe my friend dramatically fall out of his chair and throw himself to the floor so that we could get some attention, the manager walked by.

Looking at the burger, he said “oh no. No that is definitely not gluten free. I am so incredibly sorry and I will be right back.”

He came back less than 30 seconds later, with the same burger.

“Sorry, the chef said that we use a company now that makes gluten free buns that look just like our regular buns.”

Lie?

I thought so.

But feeling guilty that my friend, a busy attorney, had already been overly gracious about waiting with me through the whole charade, and having not eaten gluten in so long that the threat of actually dying from it seemed like a distant memory, I decided to eat the damn burger.

Bad idea.

This is me messaging my husband two hours later.

Now mind you, I live with a debilitating chronic health and pain condition, and I can say this with 100% honesty; I rarely, if ever complain about it. In the year and a half that we have been together, The Guy has asked me at least once every week if I need him to stay home for something health related, and I have never, EVER taken him up on his offer, or had him rearrange any of his plans, because I’m used to managing my health alone, and I don’t like to inconvenience people.

Remember when I had that rhinoplasty and then came home to recover alone?

I can hack alone. Me and “alone,” we are cool. I’ve got this.

In fact, several weeks ago I had surgery and despite his protests, I insisted that The Guy go to work, because I would be fine on my own, and would be taken care of in the hospital. I was able to get a babysitter to take the kids to school, pick them up, and stay until The Guy got home from work, so I saw no reason for him to have to change his plans for me.

And I was fine.

Until yesterday when I really felt like I was dying.


And my poor kids, who are everything to me, who are my #1 priority in life and I would willingly throw myself into traffic for them, got left at school.

I left them at school for an hour past school ending.

I was so violently ill in every way imaginable from the exorcist style vomiting to a fever that was shooting up to 105 and dropping down to 95 within a matter of minutes (over and over again), with a blinding headache that wouldn’t even allow me to stand up, that The Guy raced home to find me collapsed on the bedroom floor.

He called an ambulance.

All my neighbors came outside to watch me get loaded in, barely conscious.

And then, because ALL THE FUN happens when I’m around, when the paramedics took my blood pressure and it read 80 over 50, my oxygen levels began to drop, and they blew out multiple veins trying to get an IV in, I heard one of the guys say to the other one “lights and sirens bud, we’re losing her back here,” and then I swear we nearly crashed into someone. I couldn’t see anything, but from the intense blaring of the horn, the yelling of the driver, and the fact that we stopped so fast that I nearly catapulted out of the back of the ambulance, IT’S MY BEST GUESS.

Thankfully we arrived at the hospital in one piece, and soon I was settled into the cardiac trauma unit with my roommate; a kind older gentlemen with a heart condition, dementia, and a hearing loss, who kept repeatedly asking me much too loudly to take his pants off, because he thought I was his wife Betty.

And after enough morphine, I began to wonder if maybe I was the confused one, and I was actually Betty.

Thankfully The Guy arrived not long after and assured me that no, I was not Betty.

And also thankfully, as you can see from the existence of this post, I’m feeling MUCH better.

I had a great blog ready to go that I was planning to run today, but I’m too exhausted to edit it, so it will have to wait until next week.

In other news, The Guy called the restaurant to complain, and they admitted that “yea, sometimes we have a hard time telling the buns apart.”

I think that may be a problem.

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44 Comments

  • jacky lavine
    December 15, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    Sue that damn restaurant! Seriously

    • NotMyShametoBear
      December 22, 2016 at 5:42 pm

      You definitely aren’t the fist one to suggest it! 🙂

  • Anonymous
    December 15, 2016 at 6:20 pm

    I hope they don't have a hard time paying the hospital bill. They earned it!Debbie A-H

    • NotMyShametoBear
      December 22, 2016 at 5:42 pm

      No kidding, right!?

  • Anonymous
    December 15, 2016 at 6:25 pm

    that's crazy. I follow your blog and I know you usually post on Wednesdays so I kept checking back to see if you posted anything through out yesterday and this morning. Feel better!!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      December 22, 2016 at 5:42 pm

      You’ve figured out my posting day!! Lol. I always wondered if anyone noticed that 😉

  • Carolyn De Neut
    December 15, 2016 at 6:28 pm

    I'm CONSISTENTLY amazed that despite all the crazy you have in your life, you CONSISTENTLY display that same wonderful sense of humor. SO very glad to hear you're on the mend and will be okay. 🙂

    • NotMyShametoBear
      December 22, 2016 at 5:43 pm

      Lol, aw thanks. I guess I just feel like if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry, and with my crazy life, I’d rather not cry my way through every single day!

  • Anonymous
    December 15, 2016 at 8:22 pm

    “Lights and sirens bud, we're losing her back here”… def a quote from law and order or something. I literally LOLed at the idea of them actually saying this

  • Facebook
    December 15, 2016 at 9:16 pm

    Holy Moly Eden!! Way to scary and am very glad you are on the mend!! I would certainly be contacting the restaurant.

  • Facebook
    December 15, 2016 at 9:16 pm

    My son has a wheat allergy, I would be sending them the medical bills.

  • Facebook
    December 15, 2016 at 9:16 pm

    Holy crap! I would totally be filing a complaint with the restaurant. That's down right dangerous!

  • Facebook
    December 15, 2016 at 9:17 pm

    That's beyond scary – their negligence could have killed you. Definitely follow up with the restaurant, and do not let them off by giving a free meal.

  • Facebook
    December 15, 2016 at 9:18 pm

    Very glad you are doing better but please don't hesitate to let the restaurant know how bad this was.

  • Facebook
    December 15, 2016 at 9:18 pm

    Sooo glad that you are feeling so much better! What a nightmare to have to go through. (I did the love the part where you said “my husband”)!!!!!!

  • Facebook
    December 15, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    Send them the bill! Have Mr. Attorney Man threaten to sue.

  • Anonymous
    December 15, 2016 at 9:22 pm

    Have you ever been in the back of an ambulance? That's pretty standard paramedic talk. It just means “hurry up, she is passing out.” With low blood pressure and low oxygen, you don't want to take your time getting to the hospital because you don't know when the patient will suddenly crash.Law and Order didn't make it up, it came from the actual paramedic profession, just like their realistic court room trials. Do you think that court rooms take their cues from TV? Nope, the other way around.

  • afairytale84
    December 15, 2016 at 10:08 pm

    I'm not one for frivolous lawsuits, but you could have a case here. That's beyond ridiculous. At the absolute very least, they should pay your hospital bill.Speaking of things you overhear when having a medical emergency, I remember when I was 16 and awake on the operating table (side note: localized anesthesia is only semi-awesome) when the surgeon nicked my aorta, causing internal bleeding that I only survived because of so much scar tissue in the area. I heard the surgeon say, “Uh oh. Oh, shit. Fuck. Knock her out. Knock her out!”Good times.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      December 22, 2016 at 5:43 pm

      SCARY!! That reminds me of when I hemorrhaged after my rhinoplasty and the surgeon was yelling at the anesthesiologist to knock me out, and they were arguing about if they needed to pump my stomach first. I can’t imagine them talking about your heart like that!!! AAAHHH

  • Anonymous
    December 16, 2016 at 12:05 am

    You should contact the restaurant. At least have them pay any medical bills. You double checked twice as your food went cold. If they weren't 100% sure they should've made you a new one

    • NotMyShametoBear
      December 22, 2016 at 5:43 pm

      I’m working with the restaurant, and so far they’ve been helpful. It helps that they can’t really deny what happened…

  • Anonymous
    December 16, 2016 at 10:33 am

    I agree with the others. Contact that damn restaurant and at a minimum they pay for the medical bills. I hate hearing this kind of stuff, because they also inconvenienced you, your husband, and your kids. Someone (the server) needs to be taught a lesson that they shouldn't be so careless and that this ended up being a serious matter because of their negligence!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      December 22, 2016 at 5:43 pm

      I’m in the process of helping them refine their gluten free protocol, and waiting for the bills to come in 🙂 I’m really mad that this all happened!

  • Anonymous
    December 16, 2016 at 3:08 pm

    Welp.People have sued and won for far less.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      December 15, 2016 at 5:44 pm

      Very true! What’s it called? Immersion therapy or something like that…

      Always go for the balls 😉

  • snork maiden
    December 16, 2016 at 8:29 pm

    Definitely sue, your friend was a witness, they told you in no uncertain terms that meal was gluten free.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      December 22, 2016 at 5:44 pm

      I’m so mad! It doesn’t hurt that my friend was an attorney…

  • Evelyn
    December 19, 2016 at 5:39 pm

    such fun *sarcasm* They shouldn't have their gluten free and gluten buns look the same and they shouldn't be lying either if they lied on purpose. Shame on them.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      December 22, 2016 at 5:44 pm

      No kidding right?

  • Anonymous
    December 24, 2016 at 6:46 pm

    Im confused..you ate gluten and your blood pressure bottomed out and your body lost it's ability to control it's temperature? All my years as a nurse I've never heard of such a thing

  • Anonymous
    December 25, 2016 at 5:16 pm

    Wait… you're a nurse and you've never heard of anaphylaxis????

  • Informed
    December 27, 2016 at 12:45 am

    If you are a nurse, then I would like to know where you work so that I NEVER go there. That's actually quite frightening that you don't know how anaphylaxis works. From the Mayo Clinic: “The flood of chemicals released by your immune system during anaphylaxis can cause you to go into shock; your blood pressure drops suddenly and your airways narrow, blocking normal breathing.Common triggers of anaphylaxis include certain foods, …”So you don't think that a drop in blood pressure and oxygen (which she stated occurred), wouldn't have an effect on her core temperature? When the body thinks it is in danger, it can either drop it's temp to cool the organs, or raise the temp to fight off a perceived infection. Sounds like in her case, her reaction was to alternate between the two.

  • Naked pop tart
    December 27, 2016 at 7:12 pm

    my husband and son have celiac..if that had been either of them I would be the proud owner of my first felony arson charge… hope you get better quick.. I know when my husband/son has been glutened it takes weeks for things to set straight.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      December 27, 2016 at 5:45 pm

      After getting as sick as I did, I will help you collect the bail money. That was no joke! And you are right, I’m still not feeling like myself yet 🙁

  • Naked pop tart
    December 27, 2016 at 7:15 pm

    Hi ” nurse”… I just wanted to let you know ,from an actual person who knows what they are talking about, gluten allergy is an auto immune reaction .. So when you ingest a substance your body deems an invader it will start attacking everything.. So maybe you should check back into that mail order degree you have and make sure it actually says nursing . Smooches.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      December 27, 2016 at 5:44 pm

      “Mail order degree.” I literally laughed out loud.

  • Anonymous
    January 16, 2017 at 4:40 pm

    SUE? That's ludicrous! Yes, the waiter confirmed the bun was gluten free and the cook sent it out as such (or didn't) and maybe truly thought the buns were gluten free as many restaurants, esp those in the city, have transitioned to using gluten free products. Nonetheless YOU KNEW it wasn't gluten free and are it anyway. If, as an adult, we eat something we are allergic to then that is 100% our own fault not the restaurant esp since you felt he was being misleading. That all falls on your bad decision- making not the restaurant. And hello, you could've eaten the burger without the bun…it would not have been that traumatic. PS I have celiac and would never think of eating something that I KNEW might not be gluten-free just bc my lunch companion was inconvenienced. Wth

  • Anonymous
    January 16, 2017 at 7:30 pm

    She questioned it and confirmed it, therefore the restaurant is legally responsible. She did not “know” it wasn't gluten free, she wondered, and confirmed it wasn't. Legally the responsibility falls on the restaurant, not her. For a celiac who would advise someone to eat a burger that has been completely cross-contaminated by a bun that leached into both sides of the burger as the solution to “take responsibility,” I can't see you making a persuasive argument towards anything since bun or not, the burger still wouldn't have been gluten free.

  • Anonymous
    January 16, 2017 at 7:31 pm

    She questioned it and confirmed it, therefore the restaurant is legally responsible. She did not “know” it wasn't gluten free, she wondered, and confirmed it wasn't. Legally the responsibility falls on the restaurant, not her. For a celiac who would advise someone to eat a burger that has been completely cross-contaminated by a bun that leached into both sides of the burger as the solution to “take responsibility,” I can't see you making a persuasive argument towards anything since bun or not, the burger still wouldn't have been gluten free.

  • Anonymous
    January 27, 2017 at 8:17 am

    Well, anaphylaxis is possible in any situation but I don't know that I have ever seen one in response to gluten and three members of my family have celiacs. I think the issue with this “eden” person is that her stories change, and she's made up several quite unbelievable scenarios. Several rapes, several assaults, children with nebulous undiagnosed medical issues. sounds an awful lot like munchausens and by proxy. Remember you wrote that article about how you called your parents about almost killing your husband accidentally over a cat and how you and your mom and dad all laughed and laughed? Thought you didn't have a good relationship. Interesting that your board says nothing about allergy when you had an anaphylactic reaction. That is a big red flag. why an xray but no KUB? why no reference to allergy – there is a specific protocol for anaphylaxis and nothing on your board references that. Pain control, ekg and xray. Doesn't make sense. So maybe the people criticizing the “nurse” or not “nurse” should do some research. Why do you only have a hep lock but not an active line running. Normally, you would get fluids. Why are you not on a monitor? 02? All things used in anaphylaxis protocol. Why do you feel the need to lie all the time?

    • NotMyShametoBear
      January 27, 2017 at 5:45 pm

      I don’t usually publish comments like this because they are unnecessary, but this one was so over the top I couldn’t resist, as it very well illustrates the flaws in many “trolling” arguments.

      So let me get this straight… because you have three family members who have celiac, you know how everyone in the world reacts to gluten?

      My reaction had significantly less to do with celiac and much more to do with the MCAS issues I have from my Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. I don’t even have typical celiac, which I’ve mentioned before, it’s all rolled into the (rare) EDS type.

      We didn’t know it was anaphylaxis. I never even said that, the commentors above did, yet you are pinning that on me.

      And further that, you realize that a KUB is an x-ray study, right? (Which I didn’t even have, I ended up with a CT Scan instead). The IV photo was snapped once I was feeling better and waiting to be discharged, hence the IV line no longer running (they wanted to make sure I could tolerate liquids via mouth).
      You bring up the cat article and ask why, if I had such a bad relationship with my parents, did I call them to laugh over almost killing my husband because of a cat.

      I didn’t.

      My article says that my cat died (ten years ago, when I was still talking to my family), and the only person I could call was my mother, and “I don’t even have a good relationship with my mother. If I’m calling her, it means something big has happened and everyone in my family knows it.” There was no laughing between us. I called to ask her what to do about the dead cat, and she thought I was telling her my husband was dead. That, I laughed about. Read the article yourself again if you need to. It’s on my bio page on Catster.

      The whole munchausen (or however you spell that) is insulting and absurd. You say my kids are undiagnosed. No they aren’t. I even posted the genetics report for my daughter on one of the posts. It’s pretty hard to fake genetics, just like it would be pretty hard to fake an obvious joint issue, like with her ankles. So please, watch yourself before you go around throwing out false accusations because that’s way over the line.

      You see, all of your accusations have a very reasonable (and truthful) defense, but you take what little, incorrect info that you have, and you decide to run with it screaming “liar, fake, fraud.”

      Nope.

  • Anonymous
    January 27, 2017 at 7:50 pm

    Seems reasonable. $10 says that person never comes back to say anything back to you. The trolls never admit when they are wrong, they just move onto something else to complain about. Personality flaw really. Judge others but can never see anything wrong with themselves.

  • Anonymous
    January 28, 2017 at 3:06 am

    BURNED.Especially love how they said that the people who were trying to discredit the nurse should do some research, and then asked why no KUB and just an xray, when a KUB is an xray. Laughing. My. Ass. Off. Such a liar Eden, always lying!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      December 27, 2016 at 5:45 pm

      Ha, to the OP about betting the $10, you were right! They came back and called me a stupid bitch and asked why my house is so nice if I’m in subsidized housing (I’m not, and I wrote about my house on yahoo) and why am I still on welfare (I’m not since I got remarried) and asked why I was lying about being married since I’m “divorced still.” I can’t even… Oh well! Apparently not everyone can read 🙂

      And they still insisted that a KUB would have been on the board, not an xray. I didn’t write the board, and I didn’t even get an xray, I had a CT scan. Who knows.

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