So, Our House Flooded

So, our house flooded.

And, it wasn’t a tiny flood.

We are now living in a hotel.

Yep, and we’ve been here for a week already.

Thanks Boy Child.

I wasn’t home when the flood occurred. I got a call from our babysitter saying that something had happened to the toilet on the third floor, and water was now dripping from the second floor ceiling. She said the water had stopped, she had wiped up the bathroom floor, and she put a pot under the leak in the ceiling.

Figuring that I’d need to open the drywall a bit and let it air out before I patched it, I wasn’t too worried, but let’s just say that some water dripping from the ceiling was the least of my worries once I got home.

Water, was EVERYWHERE.

On the third floor it had rushed out of the bathroom, through not only the door, but also under the walls. It traveled down the hallway, and flooded the closets and bedrooms. It had warped the door frames so badly that the doors wouldn’t even close, and then once the floor couldn’t hold anymore water, it poured through the floor, and cascaded through the second floor ceiling; which was now cracked and caving in. It then traveled down the walls, and worked its way out through the drywall, and the light switches, which is what freaked me out the most.

#NoOneLikesAnElectricalFire   #OnlyYouCanPreventElectricalFires

#FireSafety101Don’tWaterYourOutlets

The next several hours (eh hem… until 3am) were spent on the phone with the insurance company, and the next morning when a water mitigation team showed up bright and early (after two hours of sleep), they immediately called the insurance company and told them that our home was uninhabitable.

Then the clean-up began.

The floors were ripped up, and the baseboards were torn off. The walls and ceilings were taken down, a multitude of fans, and two things that looked like industrial ovens were brought in, so that the house could be heated to 120 degrees.

Have you ever turned your furnace up to 120 degrees?

It’s HOT and I don’t recommend it.

#ItsOfficialImInHell

The stuff in the house that water hadn’t already ruined, was now melting.

Everything that wasn’t water damaged, was sealed off.

The insurance company moved us to a hotel, and we will be staying there for the foreseeable future.

I can’t complain! It’s a very nice hotel.

We even found room for ferrets Frank and George to camp out in the second bathroom.

I had always secretly dreamed of living in a hotel, so I guess there is that.

#LivingTheDream  #DontActLikeYouHaventDreamntThatToo

The hotel has a better business center than I have at home, the gym is a few feet from my door, there’s a small store for late night snacks, and they even make a free breakfast every morning.

We have good friends who have come to keep us company, which has been nice.

#TheyJustUseUsForOurPool

But there’s something to be said about not being able to go home. Vacations are fun, but when you literally cannot go back home (yet)… it kind of sucks the fun out of it. We miss “our space,” the kids miss their toys, and we are about 45 minutes away from the their school, which has been rough.

I end up dropping them off at school and then just sitting at the YMCA or Starbucks all day, because it doesn’t make sense to drive back to the hotel, and I don’t have anywhere else to go.

I think the barista thinks I’m pretending to be at some job I don’t have and am hiding from my spouse.. or at least that’s the story I’ve made up in my head.

#DontJudgeMeBecauseImSquatting

A bit into our hotel stay, they moved us to an even bigger suite, and now I feel EXTREMELY guilty for complaining.

There’s a kitchen where the trash takes itself out, and a cleaning fairy keeps emptying the dishwasher.

See that door on the right (below)?

That’s where the The Girl Child sleeps; in a room that has its own bathroom, and a bed that makes itself!

And in her bathroom, new towels appear everyday. It’s a pretty neato feature that my kids swear has existed in our home for years, but I’ve never been able to get it to work until now.

And through this door, which is to the left of the kitchen…

… Is an entire suite with it’s own bathroom, and…. wait for it…. wait for it…

Two beds.

#ILoveMyHusbandButILoveSleepMore

This room was probably supposed to be for the kids, but The Boy Child is sleeping on the pull-out couch.

#SorryKidYouFloodedTheHouseSoI’mTakingYourBed.

Hey, since we are taking about the couch, check this out:

The couch is not pulled-out into a bed in this photo, but what genius came up with this design!? It has a head pillow attached to the arm, an angled pillow for your back, and a table that pulls over the couch!

#ImInLove   #GiveThatGuyARaise

Seriously, if you ever plan on flooding your house, make sure you have Allstate insurance because these people don’t fuck around; and this isn’t even a sponsored post. (Although, if you happen to work in the advertising department of Allstate… I’m available…just sayin’…).

But I do miss our home.

It has only been a week and I’ve been on vacations longer than this, but I miss my normal life. Things were stressful enough with everything going on, and on top of it now I’m having to deal with a remodel that I wasn’t expecting.

And there are ferrets in my bathroom.

I am however, enjoying not having to make breakfast before school….

So there’s that.