I Like Your Fuzzy Balls Daddy, And Other Things You Never Want To Hear Your Children Say (A Lesson In Context)

So, after several weeks of living in a hotel after our house flooded, we finally came home on Sunday. Sure we don’t have working appliances, bathroom doors, and a lot of other things that many people would consider a necessity in their house, but at least we are home where we will continue to rebuild.

But, before we left the hotel, this happened:

#IWillPostANoMakeUpSelfie  #IWillAlsoMakeItBlackAndWhite #BlackAndWhiteHidesMyPale

#NoShame  #Lies

And I laugh, because I am a dork, and then I look at my kids and laugh even harder, because poor kids, they are turning out just like me. And I can prove it, by sharing a week with you that we had right before our house flooded.

Monday: 

After dropping my car off at the mechanic’s shop to get fixed, and moving The Girl Child’s booster seat to a rental car, I prepare to pull out of the parking lot. Turning to where The Girl Child is in the back seat, I ask “you all settled and ready to go?”

Because she is my kid and has a flare for the dramatic, she responded with “seat belt in place! Doors secured! Helmet on! LET’S GET DANGEROUS!”

Choking back laughter I asked her where she had heard that from, to which she replied “I made it up, but, however, I did not actually bring my helmet, so we had better not get too dangerous.”

Well OK then.

#SafetyFirst

Tuesday:

I went to unpack The Boy Child’s back pack after school, and this is what I found.

When questioned as to why he had taken more socks to school with him than I even knew we owned, he stated the obvious.

“Because I wanted to match with my friend and I didn’t know what socks he was going to wear.”

Well OK then.

#FairEnough

Wednesday:

So, if you have ever wondered what it might be like to be in the shower with me, well wonder no more, because I’m about to post a picture from inside my shower…

Yep, that is my view. And yep, that is a child — specifically The Boy Child — standing outside of the shower, in between the shower curtain and liner, asking me repeatedly if I will get out of the shower to get him new pants because the ones I picked out for him “felt too big.”

Exasperated — as most mothers are when they can’t get two freaking minutes to themselves — I turned to the person in my life who has the unfortunate position of being the person I vent to, (my husband), and began to complain.

Thankfully, he handles the job well.

#ThisIsWhyIMarriedHim  #ThatAndBecauseHeDoesntSnore

Thursday:

The Guy and The Boy Child are in the bathroom, washing their hands.

Or so I thought….

Suddenly I hear The Boy Child say, “I like your fuzzy balls daddy!”

I was mid-leap off the couch when a wide eyed Guy sticks his head out of the bathroom and with “panic” written all over his face, starts shaking the pom-pom balls that were dangling from a goofy pair of pajamas, and tripping over his words as he explained to me that if I heard anything, The Boy Child was simply commenting on his pajamas.

I let him sweat for a minute and then burst out laughing.

Friday:

The Boy Child had a carnival at his school, and one of the activities was a “guess how many gumballs booth.” He insisted on writing his own guess.

He guessed 1,003.

We should find out soon if he won.

 #MyKidCanCount  #PublicSchoolRocks

Saturday:

The Girl Child was mad at me, and stormed off to bed. Later, I found this little beauty in the hallway outside her room.

Well fine kid! Tell ya what, I’ll do you one better, and I won’t come in until at least 8:00am. Or whatever, because I don’t even know when “AN” is!!

Sunday:

Going through the end of the year school pile, I found this little beauty from Mother’s Day, that The Girl Child filled out about me at school.

So that’s super awesome and I’m sure her teacher loved it.

But I think I’ll keep her anyway, because…

She’s basically like the self-esteem version of a sour patch kid.

#FirstSheIsSourThenSheIsSweet

Kids are so weird.

************

If you liked this post, check out more “Conversations I Didn’t Think I’d Be Having This Week!”