No One Is More Surprised Than Me, To Be Writing This.


So…

We moved.

I know, right?

Trust me, no one is more surprised than I am to be seeing those words.

We moved.

After deciding to stay, renovating our house, and writing a long blog about it all, we moved out.

I’ll be honest, I really didn’t want to. I cried when we made the decision, and I cried my way through packing.

When we put money down to have a new house built, and celebrated with a glass of wine and takeout โ€” surrounded by boxes of memories that we were packing up โ€” my heart strings swelled with feelings of attachment.

And when we celebrated The Boy Child’s birthday (minus the birthday candles we couldn’t find), and it hit me that we were leaving the home that I had brought all three children home to when they were born, and I would never celebrate another year here with them, my “Happy Birthday” singing got choked up in my throat.

With that being said, I will be the first to admit that I am blessed, and I won’t pretend otherwise.

I have had a difficult past, and I am blessed to now be in a place where my current situation has removed some of those struggles for me. So I won’t sit here and claim “poor me,” because I know that I am fortunate. I am probably one of a narrow percentage of people in this country who truly, truly know what it is like to be on the other side; to go to bed hungry at night.

Aside though, from the fact that I am a hormonal, postpartum, sleep-deprived, wreck, you also know that my house held a very special place in my heart, for reasons that went much deeper than the wood framing that encased it; it’s why I fought so hard to pull it out of foreclosure when I was on welfare.

But do you know what now holds a bigger place in my heart than a house that I loved so dearly?

My husband.

So when he came to me and said that he was suddenly very, very unhappy in a small home where the walls felt like they were closing in on him โ€” walls that he admitted remind him more of my ex than he had originally let on โ€” I said OK, let’s change that.

When I was first dating him, and I said that I also wanted to date other people, he said Ok, and he waited for me. When I wanted him to move into my house so that we didn’t have to move the kids at the same time he became their dad, he said OK. When I told him that I wanted to honeymoon with the kids, he said OK. When I told him that I was struggling with the kids (special) needs, and needed some help, he said OK, and hired a nanny. When I said that I wanted to spend more time working at my nonprofit, he said OK and started working from home.

We have a very lengthy history of him doing things that best fit our family, even if they don’t benefit him first.

Now, he needs to be first. And I’m so sad to leave a place that I loved so dearly, but I am happy to be able to replace the hole it’s leaving in my heart, with the smile on my husband’s face as he is watching his family home being built.

The home that he wants to build for his family; a group of broken people that he has wrapped his arms around, and always put first, whatever the want, whatever the need.

It’s his time now, and so with it, we go.

I’m deeply sad to be leaving this house, but I am so incredibly blessed to be leaving it with the man that I love, to start loving a new place with the man that loves us, and the family we have built.

Although, since our new house isn’t going to be finished building until October, and we had no idea that the townhouse would go under contract so quickly, you’ll NEVER guess where we are living now.

Wow.

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23 Comments

  • Frisbee Boy's Mom
    June 7, 2018 at 3:10 pm

    Wow, that's the best post ever!! While I was watching Child #3 the other day, I told him the story of Prince (the Guy) and Princess Eden. As he drank his bottle and listened intently I, myself, was in awe of all that has transpired in the past 10 years. You ARE blessed in so many ways. Yay pink sparkly clouds

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 7, 2018 at 12:39 pm

      Aw, you are the best! Thank you for watching him while we moved! And for always being by my side ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Rachel
    June 7, 2018 at 4:52 pm

    Where!??!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 7, 2018 at 12:39 pm

      Dun dun dun duuuuun!

      Stay tuned. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Carolyn De Neut
    June 7, 2018 at 5:34 pm

    You're moving into the moving truck to live? ๐Ÿ™‚

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 7, 2018 at 5:29 pm

      Gosh darn, why didn’t I think of that? Lol

  • MFA Mama
    June 7, 2018 at 6:01 pm

    Not your parents.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 7, 2018 at 5:28 pm

      *Enter Evil Laugh Here*

      We shall see!!

      And you’re still here! It always surprises me when you pop up ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Facebook
    June 7, 2018 at 6:06 pm

    As someone who has moved so often, we finally just bought a Mobil home, just think of it as a new begining. All the “good spirits” come with you, all the “bad spirits” stay behind.

  • Facebook
    June 7, 2018 at 6:15 pm

    New adventures! Congrats!

  • Steven Theiss
    June 7, 2018 at 8:36 pm

    Eden is so incredibly lucky to have people like you in her life.

  • Steven Theiss
    June 7, 2018 at 8:43 pm

    I know how much of your heart and soul you've put into that house,so it doesn't surprise me to see how hard it is for you to let it go. It has been an anchor that kept you from being swept away (even though I remember when it came close to drowning you). But now it's time for you to embark on a new journey with The Guy. Time to venture out from your safe, protected harbor and set sail in a new ship, built with love for you and your children.Safe travels, Eden!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 7, 2018 at 5:27 pm

      That was very eloquently put, and all very true ๐Ÿ™‚ As ALWAYS, thank you for your insights ๐Ÿ™‚ They are always so on the mark.

  • Anonymous
    June 7, 2018 at 9:32 pm

    What sweet news. I understand your pain and I love your “why”. Congratulations!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 7, 2018 at 5:28 pm

      Thank you!!

      *hugs*

  • Facebook
    June 7, 2018 at 10:13 pm

    Exciting news and your “why” is beautiful

  • Facebook
    June 7, 2018 at 10:13 pm

    So excited for this new chapter but very curious where y'all are staying rn! =)

  • Facebook
    June 7, 2018 at 10:14 pm

    You two have such a wonderful, loving, compromising, strong marriage and I am so happy that you both are able to put the other first and compromise so that the whole family is happy! It must be so bittersweet to close one chapter…but I am so excited for this next chapter in your life! Sending lots of strength and love to you all!!

  • Facebook
    June 7, 2018 at 10:14 pm

    Eden Strong – It Is Not My Shame To Bear are you going far?

  • Facebook
    June 8, 2018 at 2:12 am

    How long do we have to wait to find out?? The suspense will kill me!!!

  • Anonymous
    June 8, 2018 at 2:25 pm

    Congrats! Although it may be sad leaving the home you fought so hard for and made so many beautiful memories, the best is yet to come. You will be moving on to something even better than you could've imagined and create memories you couldn't even conceive! So excited for you and your family.

  • Jessika Brandt-Feldenkirchen
    June 10, 2018 at 1:01 am

    So proud of you! Always have, always will! Sending love from Colorado โค๏ธ

  • Facebook
    June 12, 2018 at 3:22 am

    How long do we have to wait to find out?? The suspense will kill me!!!

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