Things That Make You Ask, Why??

Things that just make you ask why?  Pictures courtesy of my phone.

Why do they let people who obviously cannot read, be in charge of applying the door stickers at Target? Because I CAN read, and now I’m just confused.

Why do they let people who obviously can’t write, write romance cards? Everyone knows that “shiv” is a noun and the verb would have been “shank.” Duh. (And why would anyone buy this? Seems more appropriate in Detroit then in suburbia over here….) I can pretty much guarantee you though, if I have a boyfriend come Valentines day, this is probably the card I will get. Because my dates always go so well.

Why not have a man chair? Who cares if your wife doesn’t want your ugly chair in the middle of her living room? Buy it in cameo and she will never even know its there! Problem solved. Your’re welcome.

Why did no one tell me the Duggar’s were in town? (With their two red headed step children off to the right hand side)

Why do people touch my hair? I have fairly curly hair, that people seem to read as an invitation to touch, probably because it curls in these huge fake looking curls. So, in order to avoid that, I put enough product in it, that if there was ever a sudden and complete failure of gravity, I would assuredly still be weighted to the earth. And then, I flat iron it dry until it’s straight. Every single morning.  Because strangers feel the need to touch my hair. A lot. In line at the checkout once, I felt some woman pull one of my curls while making some comment about Shirley Temple.  Another time, at the gas station, some dude walked up and ran his entire hand through it. Who does that! WHO ON EARTH DOES THAT!? And lets not (unfortunately) forget about Sparkles.  So because of this trend of complete and utter lack of personal space that other people force on me, I fry my hair flat every morning just to avoid it. Fun times. But today, I ran out of straightening gel and so three people touched my hair. As I drove home, totally skeeved out in my car, I decided to take a picture of it when I got home and write this blog.

The Mommy on a RARE day when it curled nicely versus appearing as if it were styled by electrocution
 Poor Girl Child. I should prepare her now, bc she inherited her mommy’s hair. Her’s blows straight with the hairdryer though, so that should be a time saver.
The Girl Child
Why would anyone have chosen this carpet for the never ending hallway at the pediatrician’s office? Every time I walk down the hallway, I feel like I am tripping out on something and walking at the speed of light.

Why does the grocery store have an ice cream vending machine at the door? Oh yes, its because the lazy, instant gratification, American public, will happily spend $3.50 for two ounces of ice cream, instead of walking the treacherous twenty steps down the aisle to get the entire carton.
Ok, not going to lie, I was a bit tempted.

Why is this called an infant sled? I fit just fine!

No picture for this one, but still caused me to ask “Why” this week. Why do most men claim they are runners? Do you not think that I won’t notice the first time we go running together, that after the first half mile, you look like you are on the verge of needing resuscitation? Just because you ran after a cab three weeks ago, does not make you a runner. Just because you bought running shoes, and intended to one day use them, does not make you a runner. Just because you jogged all the way to your mailbox, and back, does not make you a runner. Cuz let me tell you how this is going to play out for you buddy. We are still running the entire 13 miles that I had planned on running, and while we do that, maybe you can spend some time reflecting on how it was a very, very, bad idea to lie to me.

Why not paint your house in color’s that make it look as if the entire thing was built from Lego’s? Who cares if the entire neighborhood wants to kill you.

Why do I hang out with people like this?

Why are some people still employed?

Twenty minutes later…

Why does America bother to have actual coin money, when you can buy $.25 candy with a debit card?

 Why? Just why. Seriously. WHY??

Hint: Nails.
Why wouldn’t I need to pick this up at the gas station? Because I already got mine at Walmart. Rollback!

Why have I never heard of a “Buddha’s hand” fruit before? And what the hell do you do with it?
Why do my friends steal picture’s of my children off of facebook, and text them back to me with added caption’s? And apparently with no spell check.

Why do I wonder where all my time went?
Why does this snowman window cling looks suspiciously like E.T. in winter wear?
Why wait for summer when you can fill someone’s shop with several tons of sand and have a beach party in the winter for 35 people? Complete with limbo competition, bags, sand volleyball, sand castles, and a water cooler full of jungle juice. That’s how you do it in the winter here yo.

That’s all for this week folks. Tune in next week for more things that just make you ask, why?

Photo Credit No Running:

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  • Deborah Moore
    December 18, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    I am not sure why people do the things they do, but the beach party was a cool idea… Hope someone else had to clean it up and not you. I love the ET snowman.. That made me LOL. You so fun and Strong. Much Love to you this Holiday Season.

  • Anonymous
    December 18, 2013 at 11:55 pm

    I would totally touch your hair. Wouldn't be able to help myself!

  • Caitlin @ Health and Sex
    December 22, 2013 at 7:03 am

    I'm laughing out loud reading this post, those long nails gives me the creep. It's unhealthy too.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      December 22, 2013 at 9:39 am

      Haha! I’m glad 🙂 Seriously, they have to be so germy!! There is a cashier at the grocery store with nails like that!!! YUCK!

  • Anonymous
    January 4, 2014 at 5:21 am

    How are your children special needs?

  • Spider - Man
    January 4, 2014 at 9:16 pm

    Wow, those are some perfect curls. It looks like they were done with a curling iron!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      January 11, 2014 at 10:17 am

      I think that’s why people touch them. The joke I hear all the time is “Going to prom?”

  • harryd
    January 12, 2014 at 4:24 am

    Why are you so hilariously funny!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      January 11, 2014 at 4:02 am

      To make your life happy 😉

  • Anonymous
    January 20, 2014 at 7:04 pm

    I've just got to say, your hair is freaking gorgeous! I have naturally curly/wavy hair, but to get it to look as nice as yours requires a curling wand. Seriously, it's too bad creepers seem to feel the need to feel on it, because it seems a shame to straighten it.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      January 20, 2014 at 4:14 am

      Aw thanks. It just got so WEIRD with people touching it all the time, I think probably because it does look like I curled it. ? Maybe I’ll have to learn some self defense moves and try again 🙂

  • Sheila Lange
    January 24, 2014 at 2:16 am

    I swear I drive past that yellow house all the time.. but i doubt you're in Illinois!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      January 23, 2014 at 8:21 am

      Oh my gosh, the ugly houses are spreading!!!

  • Sheila Lange
    January 24, 2014 at 2:16 am

    I swear I drive past that yellow house all the time.. but i doubt you're in Illinois!

  • Anonymous
    January 29, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    I know this was posted ages ago, but GOSH!!!, what is it with you people “not being able to help yourself” touching others?! I'm not quite 5', let me tell you EVERY idiot “isn't able to help themselves”. Back the fuck off, you just do NOT touch people without permission! Not their hair, not their head, not their ass, not their anything! Tell them they have pretty hair, tell them, if you must, that they are surprisingly small for a grown adult and be aware that they already know that, but keep your freakin hands to yourself. I apologize for that rant. 😀 Touchy topic, no pun intended. I love this blog, I've been reading since yesterday up to this point. I am so amazed at what you reached after what you had to go through. Keep your head high! You are amazing!!Greetings from Europe

    • NotMyShametoBear
      January 29, 2014 at 7:40 am

      Haha! I agree, just tell them. In no way is getting touched by a random stranger a compliment. Its creepy!

      I’m so glad you have found your way here and enjoying the posts. That makes me happy 🙂 Thank you for your sweet words. Welcome to the blog!

  • Sao Luo Bo
    December 16, 2015 at 3:41 pm

    Hehehehe!! Funny!!


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