I promise I’m Not A Creepy Super Stalker

I was thinking the other day about how I never really get embarrassed. Now yes, there are definitely times when I should have been embarrassed, but I just wasn’t. I think it probably has something to do with my complete and utter lack of social graces.

For example, I went to a benefit luncheon for the sole purpose of networking for my nonprofit. I was graciously invited by Frisbee Boy’s Mother and was excited for the opportunity to attend. Champagne at noon? A fancy lunch at a beautiful horse farm? Orchestra? Beautiful day on the patio? Sign me up!

After my last benefit fiasco, the one that included the whole “being way under dressed at an event”  situation, I was determined to dress appropriately this time.

Dress code? Nailed it.

Socially graceful?

Not so much.

We wade our way through a couple hundred people and find our assigned table. I’m thinking “damn you lucky girl, you are technically at WORK right now, lucky you! You’re so lucky!!” While we are eating (or in my gluten free case, watching people eat gluten filled goodness), the first guest speaker gets up and she is from our table; that’s neat. She has written several books, is the world champion of public speaking, and is funny as hell. Nice! I make a mental note that she is someone I’m going to chat with. Then the next speaker goes up and surprisingly, she is also from our table. Next they introduce the guests of honor and what do you know? Also from our table. Then the girl next to me gets up and gives a speech. The woman one person over from me is doing the introductions. Did I mention that directly across from me, at my table, is the founder of the entire foundation?

Wait a minute….I’m sitting at the head table.

This. Is. Awesome.

Somehow Miss Frisbee Mom and I have managed to be the only people at a ten person table that isn’t either a guest speaker, a founder, or a guest of honor. I’m sitting there and I’m like crazy introducing myself and gathering phone numbers and taking names; I’m not about to let this opportunity go by without taking advantage of it.

When the luncheon is over I go out into the lobby and the woman who was doing the introductions is sitting at a table selling copies of her ridiculously overpriced book. I saunter over and I’m all like “Hey, you wrote a book, that’s great! We chat, she apparently likes me, judging by the fact that she gives me a copy of her book, and she writes a message inside. Well I’m never one to let a networking opportunity go by so I’m all “Well thanks! I’d love to keep in touch and tell you about my nonprofit, can I get your email address?” She looks at me like I am crazy but I don’t care, probably because I am crazy, and she writes her email address inside the cover of the book.

When I get home I immediately follow up with all the email addresses that I’ve gotten, wanting to strike while the iron is hot. After that I finally sit down and take a look at the book this woman gave me. Uh…wait a minute. What is all this stuff listed in the author bio? “Head news anchor, Emmy award winner, author of three books, special reporter, daytime talk show host, soap opera star…..”

Um…ok, so I’m apparently some wierdo superfan “wanna be my friend can I have your email address girl” and I didn’t even know it.

Crap.

I do the only logical thing I can think of and I email her again.

“So…want to hear a funny story about this time I met this nice woman, had no idea who she was, and probably came off like a creepy super stalker? Yea, that happened to me today at a benefit luncheon.”

Surprisingly she emailed me back not even two minutes later, laughing, and telling me that it was fate, she really did like me, and when she gets home she is going to take a look at my nonprofit and email me back.

Will she ever do it, who knows. I could be a creepy super stalker for all she knows…..