“I Want My Friends To Think I’m Sleeping With You”
It’s been a while since I’ve told you guys about one of my bad dates, hasn’t it? Trust me, just because I haven’t talked about them doesn’t mean they haven’t been happening!
Well, I now have a new favorite bad date! A guy that my friends and I now refer to as “the one percenter” blew the competition out of the water. It wasn’t easy to find someone who topped the conceited guy that I went mini golfing with and it was a near Olympic event to find someone who could steal the gold from Sparkles, but have no fear people, I found the man that beats out the rest. He is the much elusive “one percenter,” and I, Eden Strong, had the pleasure of going on a date with him.
Now without further ado, for your reading pleasure, I bring you, THE ONE PERCENTER;
So because I am
intrigued an idiot, I decided “aw, what the heck, I’ll bite.”
Because that’s normal….
Please see also: At this point I’m considering becoming a lesbian.
Everyone looks at me, I look at no one.
From the corner of my eye I see a few people looking embarrassed for me and inside I die a little.
As he gets nearer to our table he actually says to a table of men sitting nearby, “check out the legs on my date!”
I am livid; livid and disrespected. I seriously cannot believe this guy!
|(Insert hysterical internal laughing on my part)|
You have absofreakinlutely got to be kidding me. No way is this guy for real. No. Fucking. Way.
He just sat there. At least I was considerate enough to give his brain a little time to process what I had just said as I turned around and walked out of the restaurant so that he could ponder that alone.