Sick Children, Crazy Ex’s, Disowned Family Members, And A Really Creepy Bug!


A friend and I took our kids to the zoo.


The biggest attraction came during lunch when we found a crazy looking caterpillar.

To say that we were interested yet terrified would be the understatement of the century.

At one point my friend got him to cling onto a stick and when she swung him in my direction I must have broken an Olympic record the way I (from a seated position) leapt over our table and escaped to safety.

No freaking way was I about to let that thing touch me!! Even the kids were flipping out as is evidenced by my friend’s screaming son.

The joke ended up being on my friend though because when she put it down on the ledge it almost touched her. She screamed so loud that everyone within a 2 mile radius of us had their own frantic moment of panic while trying to figure out why a grown woman was screaming for her life.

I think my favorite moment was when she looked around and then sternly whispered “oh my gosh Eden. Every single table is starting at us. Look, every single person here is looking at us like we have lost our damn minds.”

Welcome to my entire life.

I mean of course they were staring! We had absolutely lost our minds and their stares were totally appropriate given our behavior.

Eventually we managed to pry ourselves away from the alien bug (which was apparently a moth caterpillar, says everyone we polled on Facebook) and see a few other animals….

….but not before we left Mothra with a sandwich.

And in our defense when we left our table, at least 10 people from other tables got up and walked over to check out the bug. See? Judge us all you want people, but I know we’ve peaked your interest.

But you know what?

I’d rather bring that caterpillar home and snuggle with it in bed than deal with some of the terrifying things that have been going on over here.

For starters?

I had a very unpleasant conversation with my parents that is causing me to question some of the choices that I’ve made… some of them in relation to this blog.

I also made the decision to take my ex back to court, against Mr. Attorney Man’s advice — but in line with something that I feel like I need to do. Going against what one of the only people I trust thinks is best for me obviously doesn’t feel too great, but at the end of the day I’ve had well over a year to think about this and I know that this is the right choice for me.

That still doesn’t make it any less scary.

Especially after a little run in that I had with my ex.

But what is scaring me tonight?

The Boy Child.

He has continued to have some health issues that are not just scary, but downright terrifying. Tomorrow night (or tonight by the time you read this) I’m going to meet with one of his doctors to go over some test results and I’m scared of what they might say.

I’m really scared.

I actually have no idea whatsoever what they found… or didn’t find… or might still be looking for… and I’m not even sure I want to know.

I really don’t want to deal with any of this, but as usual I don’t have a choice.


In the upcoming weeks I’m once again going to open the closet doors of my life and let you peek in at all my dirty laundry, while I do my best to drag out some of the stuff that I’ve been shoving in there and ignoring. So if you don’t like crazy ex’s, disowned family members, or sick children, this is your warning to leave now.

But if you’d like to stay, I could really use your support.

Think about it because come next week, the doors are opening… but not tonight. Tonight I’m going to go snuggle with this goofy little dude who is currently using my phone to take his first selfie’s.

I about died laughing when I found this on my phone.

The things you don’t realize your kids are watching you do….
Future anonymous blogger maybe?

Right now he is working on his mother-son selfies. He took these!



Good gosh I love this boy!

While I’m snuggling with him I’ll leave you with a few articles that I wrote elsewhere this week. Due to the readership of this blog I’m going to highly recommend this weeks articles, so take a few minutes and click them!

“To The Women Who Lie About Being Abused: You Hurt The Real Victims”

“My Husband Was An Abusive Rapist — But I Still Miss The Idea Of Him”

And just for kicks and giggles:

“The Eight (REAL) Stages Of Growing A Baby Bump!”

“Ten Cute Small Animals That Know How To Rock Friday Funday”


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  • Mzfuzz
    August 14, 2015 at 12:28 pm

    I'm not going anywhere, Eden! *HUGS* And really? That bug was CUTE!!! Too bad they grow up into ugly moths. lol

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 16, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      You can come pick up the bug anytime you would like.

  • Anonymous
    August 14, 2015 at 3:01 pm

    Hi Eden! I'm not going anywhere either. I love your posts, you have a gift, that despite all that has happened to you (and continues to happen) you are able to put it into words and share the experiences as you live each day, with some humor thrown in. As an abuse survivor, I can relate to the daily struggle to keep your head above water! Love and hugs to you, and your kids, and Henry! Im with you for the long haul!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 16, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      Aw, that is so sweet of you to say, thank you!!!

      You’re the best!


  • Mary Anne
    August 14, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    If you can hang in there, the least I can do is cheer you on!!! Prayers for the boychild….and you.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 16, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      Aw, thanks hun 🙂 I’m trying!!


  • Jessie
    August 14, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    Hang in there! I'm not going anywhere. 🙂 ::hugs::

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 16, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      Thank you 🙂


  • butterfly14
    August 14, 2015 at 7:31 pm

    Ditto. ..prayers, hugs and hanging in there as well ♡

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 16, 2015 at 3:54 pm


  • CD
    August 15, 2015 at 12:20 am

    Those of us who have been here for all this time would never think of leaving right now. Hang in there, Eden. We'll be waiting.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 16, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      Thanks CD, you guys are the best 🙂

  • Leasey
    August 16, 2015 at 1:39 am

    Sending good vibes and positive thoughts your way!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 16, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      I appreciate it!!!

  • Mary Kobach
    August 16, 2015 at 2:52 am

    Good vibes from Wisconsin to you, hope your little boy is better 🙂

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 16, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      Thanks love 🙂

  • Anonymous
    August 17, 2015 at 6:53 am

    I can't imagine anything worse than seeing your baby suffer. You have my prayers and we are rooting for you all.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 22, 2015 at 3:55 pm

      It’s awful 🙁

      Thank you for your prayers!

  • afairytale84
    August 17, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    I'm not going anywhere either. Hugs and good thoughts for the Boy Child, as well as some for you and the Girl Child as well!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 22, 2015 at 3:55 pm

      You had better not leave me!!


  • Facebook
    August 18, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    Can't wait to hear your update on the health stuff, so sorry to hear it's still going on.

  • Marshana Green
    August 22, 2015 at 11:08 am

    A bit late,but still here! ? keep being strong!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 22, 2015 at 3:55 pm

      Never too late!! Thank you 🙂


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