OH. EM. GEE. NO!!


The Girl Child had curriculum night at her school a few nights ago. Because they didn’t want a bunch of kids interrupting the teachers and parents, the school had a drop-off classroom where kids could stay and watch a movie; both of my kids were excited to go.

There were two sessions that night and I ended up being the only parent that showed up in my daughter’s class for the second session, which you know, totally rocked because the teacher and I got through everything really fast.

Unfortunately it wasn’t fast enough though, because when I got back to the drop-off room The Boy Child was just coming back from the bathroom, by himself.

The teacher, probably not having any idea otherwise, had sent my just-turned-4 year old down the hall, by himself, to find a bathroom.

Not. A. Good. Idea.

The Boy Child didn’t share in my opinion though and was pretty excited to tell me that not only did he get to go wandering around all by himself, but he had gotten to use the men’s room for the first time ever.

He then proceeded to beam with pride as he told me how he even remembered to wash his hands in the little sink with the soap — the soap that he had for some reason brought back to the classroom with him.

The soap that was not soap.

Then he handed me a urinal cake.

I died.

You see, being a woman myself, I don’t take him into many (read: ANY) men’s rooms, and being that he just turned 4, he doesn’t go anywhere alone.

We had not gotten to that conversation yet.

I’m still dead.


As we were getting ready to walk out of the school the tornado sirens went off. Taking a look at the sky I made the ultimate decision that it would be safer for us to hop in the car and drive literally just around the corner to my friend’s house who has a basement, rather than stay in the school without a basement.

Thankfully we made it and did not die.

Although I’m still kind of dead, because GROSS.

Speaking of dead though, a tree did get struck by lightening right outside of my house and the jolt was enough to kill half the electronics in the neighborhood.

That sucks.

But not as much as washing your hands in urine.

Dead.

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18 Comments

  • Facebook
    August 22, 2015 at 2:33 am

    I am sure you don't necessarily feel this way right now but that is some funny shit right there!

  • Mary Kobach
    August 22, 2015 at 4:37 am

    Just what I needed after a long hard day, a good giggle Thanks 🙂

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 24, 2015 at 3:52 pm

      I’m glad it was good for something then 🙂

      *hugs*

  • Facebook
    August 22, 2015 at 5:25 am

    After your essay about keeping them on leashes, I'm impressed he returned on his own! So, uh, win?

  • Mzfuzz
    August 22, 2015 at 12:39 pm

    AGH!!!!! Ew. But hilarious. 😀

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 24, 2015 at 3:52 pm

      I’m glad my urine covered son was able to make you giggle 🙂

  • snork maiden
    August 23, 2015 at 8:47 am

    Eww! Yesterday my four year old proudly answered the front door all by himself, while I was upstairs. Luckily it was just a lady collecting for charity, but I've been trying to impress upon him that he must never open the door to a stranger again, even if he is now tall enough to reach.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 24, 2015 at 3:53 pm

      Four year olds really are a different species aren’t they???

  • afairytale84
    August 24, 2015 at 5:30 pm

    Well, umm…at least he was eager to wash his hands? You're teaching him good hygiene!But yeah. Gross!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 24, 2015 at 3:53 pm

      Haha! Yes, well there’s that I guess lol

  • Meshelle Dooley
    August 25, 2015 at 12:34 am

    OH. EM. GEE!!! THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!! HAHAHAHAHA…uh um…sorry.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 24, 2015 at 3:53 pm

      lol! AAAHHHH!

  • V totheJade
    August 26, 2015 at 10:49 pm

    I am not one to laugh out loud at mommy stories because my kids are 5 and 3 and they are crazy and set my O.C.D. world a spinnin' but you made me laugh til tears welled up- “I died”…oh my word soooo funny. SO funny!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 26, 2015 at 3:53 pm

      Haha!! I love comments like this 🙂 Thanks for letting me know it was worth my time to write that all out. I love being able to make people laugh.

      *hugs*

  • ACW
    August 28, 2015 at 3:18 pm

    I want to know how many stitches/therapy sessions/mandated re-training hours the teacher needed.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      September 8, 2015 at 3:53 pm

      RIGHT!?

  • Joel
    September 4, 2015 at 2:56 am

    You do realize that this is blackmail material for when he's a teenager, right? “Take the garbage out right now, Mister, or I'll tell your girlfriend how you once washed your hands in a urinal when you were 4.”:) It's all blackmail fodder.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      September 8, 2015 at 3:52 pm

      I absolutely realize that!! Which is part of why I wrote it all down so that I remember it lol!!

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