I’ll Take Insanity For $500

Well, it’s that time again. Time to head somewhere that typically just pisses me off and makes me a rather unpleasant person to be around for the 24 hours after I leave said place; mostly because it’s a place filled with creepy people, a ridiculous judge, and an ex husband that I despise.

Oh yea, and there was that time Mr. Attorney Man and I almost died there. Not really, but almost. 

Yep, it’s time to head back to court again on the never ending quest to get my ex husband to pay child support! Remember how the last time I went to court, a judge found my ex guilty of contempt for not following a court order, and not paying child support? Remember how thrilled I was to hear the verdict, until mere moments later when the judge said “Oh, sorry, struggling single mom of two special needs kids, who has been in front of my bench 15 times in the last four years since your ex never pays you, I’m actually not going to send him to jail. Instead I’m going to give him an extra 90 days to pay you half of what he owes. Because he only has himself to worry about and one job to work and I think that you look capable of getting a few more jobs to take care of your sick and disabled kids when you aren’t sitting in a hospital for weeks on end, so just hang in there for a few more months since it’s only been four years, and then just take the discounted money and be happy with it OK?”

Well, he didn’t exactly say that, but it was very much implied.


Not happy.

“You know, Judge, I really only wanted half the money anyway, in case I just wanted to start feeding my children half of what they need and only clothe them halfway.”

In fact, let me get your opinion on this: Do you think I should clothe just the kid’s top half, or just their bottom half? I mean pants seem like the obvious way to go because of indecency laws and all that, but I dunno… If I could somehow just get them into the daycare without anyone seeing them, and seat them both at a table, well then maybe a shirt would be better because while seated they would look fully clothed and that would probably save them the embarrassment of only having half of what they need.

See what I mean? It really is a conundrum and I’d like your opinion, so please, leave your comments at the bottom.

Oh but wait, when leaving your opinion, please also factor in that my ex took his three months, and still didn’t pay me. So I’m going to need you to actually take away all of whatever half you choose, cuz I gots nothing.

Actually, my ex did send me a check, but it was so small compared to what he owes me that it was laughable, and didn’t even equate to like 5% of his balance due, but watch the judge say “well he tried!”

He is a loser. And when I say “he,” I am referring to…. actually you pick. Your choices are my ex or the judge and either one will be an acceptable answer.

I swear, this whole thing is making me lose my Jesus!!



So yay, court again. I wonder what new and exciting ways this judge will find to screw me over this time. Court these days feels like Kama Sutra without the orgasm. A little bit scary, you aren’t quite sure what just went down, and there was no happy ending.

My friend is yellow and I am blue

If you can’t tell, I have COMPLETELY lost faith in the system, and that makes me really sad because since my kid’s father isn’t willing to provide for them, and the law isn’t willing to fight for them, then that just leaves me, which is a lot of pressure.

But I’ll do it. I’ll do it, because they deserve to have someone fighting for them, even if it’s just a really worn out mother and her super awesome attorney. Seriously though, my peppiness about the whole situation is over. Sorry, but no motivational speech this time, because this is just stupid. The system is not supposed to work like this and I’m frustrated. I’m so, so thankful that at the end of the day this is just money and I’m not fighting for the custody of my kids (a truly huge blessing), but I can’t help feeling annoyed with how messed up this process is.


So, wish Mr. Attorney Man and I luck, pray for us, and send us all your good vibes, because we are going back to court on Friday so that we can continue the good fight and watch justice be served.

Or, you could just send me wine, because if history repeats itself, I will need a few bottles of it come Friday night.

I like a good Moscato.


Interested In What Happened At Court Last Time? Check Out This Post Below:

“I Went To Court And Actually Learned Something”

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  • Naked pop tart
    July 20, 2016 at 10:19 am

    I would say “hang in there..”. But at this point I think the only thing that should be hanging is your ex. From a nice big tree branch.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      July 20, 2016 at 10:11 am

      This is where I wish Blogger had emoticons!

  • Gila
    July 20, 2016 at 2:15 pm

    From what I remember the last time you went to court…the judge's reasoning was that if your ex went to jail, he wouldn't be able to work and make any money to give you. Which, like, not that he's giving you money now, either, but the point was that jailing him would not actually help you at all.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      July 20, 2016 at 10:11 am

      Yep that was the judges reasoning, but what the judge failed to consider was that three years ago he was jailed for nonpayment, and bailed himself out within hours. His bail amount was the entire back payment amount that he owed, meaning he had the money the entire time and just refused to pay me.

      Since then we’ve been in court repeatedly on his continuing failure to pay, and he hasn’t been jail, and he still isn’t paying. So keeping him out of jail has proven ineffective, and the only time I got everything I was owed, was the one time he went to jail.

      And money aside, please, just jail him because he deserves it.

      ….I’m not bitter at all… lol

  • Anonymous
    July 20, 2016 at 3:11 pm

    Yes, but it is obvious he will never willingly pay her anyhow so maybe suffering and humiliation will kick him in the ass. Either that or at least there is the satisfaction of seeing him squirm.

  • Anonymous
    July 20, 2016 at 4:06 pm

    May I ask why they don't withdraw it from his accounts? Is he hiding the money, working under the table, Etc. I had this fight with my Ex and they just started drafting it from him and taking his refunds for a while.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      July 20, 2016 at 5:30 am

      We can’t find any of his accounts. As far as I know he hasn’t had a bank account. They can garnish from his paychecks, but he always quits his job soon after they catch up with him and start taking the money. Then he goes off the radar for a while, gets another low-paying job, and because my state has such a backlog of child support cases, it’s months before they catch up with him again. When they do, he just quits again and moves on.

  • Mzfuzz
    July 20, 2016 at 4:29 pm

    Haha! “From a tree branch.” Awesome. Often times, the “justice system” isn't. Especially not in a timely way. The victims bear the burden of advocating for themselves, instead of the other way around. I am going to be optimistic and say that the judge throws him in the clink. But! Probably he won't show up, and the judge will continue it instead of putting out a warrant for the D-Bag. Hang in there!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      July 20, 2016 at 5:31 am

      Ugh! I bet you’re right :/

  • Samantha Hicks
    July 20, 2016 at 4:54 pm

    Oooohhh Moscato! Moscato would be nice. Here's hoping it is a bit more celebratory than therapeutic this time. Sending love and prayers your way.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      July 20, 2016 at 5:31 am

      Thank you love!

  • snork maiden
    July 20, 2016 at 9:33 pm

    (((()))) I guess it's time to just go through the motions. The amount of public money that this circus has cost would doubtless pay the balance several times over. Maybe this time the judge will be in a bad mood and decide to jail him on a whim?

    • NotMyShametoBear
      July 20, 2016 at 5:32 am

      No kidding! They just drag everything on and on and on and on and on and on and ON.

      The judge is ALWAYS in a bad mood, and does his best to screw both parties over.

  • snork maiden
    July 20, 2016 at 9:34 pm

    I recall Eden's ex was into drugs, it's possible all his real money is stuffed into a mattress, while whatever he gets from legitimate work is spent immediately.

  • Anonymous
    July 20, 2016 at 9:55 pm

    Do you go up in front of the same judge every time? Why?! This is just insane. I want to go shake the money out of him!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      July 20, 2016 at 5:32 am

      Yep you have the same judge and you really can’t switch, it’s called “judge shopping” and it’s HIGHLY frowned upon.

  • Facebook
    July 20, 2016 at 10:25 pm

    This just makes me so mad. I'm sorry for all the trouble he is putting you through and I feel horrible for your children. =(

  • Facebook
    July 20, 2016 at 10:25 pm

    What time Friday? I think if we all get together and send you good juju at the same time it might help. If even just for a little temporary sanity.

  • Facebook
    July 20, 2016 at 10:26 pm

    Send me. I like breaking limbs and making judges retire in shame.

  • Steven Theiss
    July 21, 2016 at 1:47 am

    Maybe a giant asteroid will fall on the courthouse and squish both your ex and the judge just before you open the door to go inside, and then a big glob of platinum will fall off the side of the asteroid and land in front of you, making you insanely rich.That could totally happen! 🙂

    • NotMyShametoBear
      July 20, 2016 at 11:57 am

      Hahahaha. Well duh, of course that could happen. WHY NOT?

  • Anonymous
    July 21, 2016 at 6:52 pm

    getting custody of my sons was easy, child support not in the least! they were born in a different state then where we reside and my husband lives in another… my sons and i have lived in our current state cor 3 years, the courts won't take it. so i'm waiting for my case to be taken. i sent the paperwork two weeks ago, have to call back in another 2-3 to see if they find me and find out if i have to go out for any court dates or how the eff it's going to work. ughhh, oh and my husband sent me a message last week “been awhile since we talked” i was going to respond “good let's keep it that way!” if he isn't asking to talk to our sons or our sons wanting to talk to him, i will not get into a conversation with him. i refuse to go down the road of feeling like shit and defending me/my sons.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      July 27, 2016 at 2:09 am

      Child support is SOOO hard and everyone who hasn’t gone through the battle seems to think it’s so easy. “Just go to court and get his wages garnished!”

      HAHAHAHAHA. Yea, sure, OK. Why didn’t I think of that!?


      I wish you luck on your case 🙂 Don’t give up!

  • afairytale84
    July 21, 2016 at 7:22 pm

    I really hate judges. The one my mother had when she was dealing with her now ex husband sounds like he could be your judge's brother. Ugh. It's so unfortunate when you get stuck with a crappy judge and can't switch to one who actually cares.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      July 27, 2016 at 2:11 am

      It really is 🙁 I’m sorry your mom went through this too!

  • CD
    July 21, 2016 at 9:53 pm

    So if he DOES go to jail… the bail money goes to you, right? Yeah, like Snork said, under his mattress… he'll be able to get out of jail before the withdrawals kick in.Also, the answer to the clothing conundrum? Go commando. No one knows! XD

    • NotMyShametoBear
      July 27, 2016 at 2:29 am

      Yep, the money would go to me 🙂

  • Gila
    July 22, 2016 at 1:47 pm

    Good luck this morning!!

  • Anonymous
    July 23, 2016 at 11:56 pm

    Your kids have Medicaid for health insurance, since you're unemployed and a single parent, correct? So wouldn't “they” go after him, not you? Just wondering!!!!!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      July 27, 2016 at 2:10 am

      They technically do, but the state is so backlogged that it can take years, and even then at the VERY most, they put out a warrant, but the police don’t really take the time to find him because they have more pressing issues than a guy who owes money. So realistically it can take decades.

  • Christina GLunt
    July 25, 2016 at 1:27 pm

    It's Monday – let's hear it.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      July 27, 2016 at 2:10 am

      Post is up 🙂


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