I Went To Court Again, But This Time Was Different…


Yesterday I went to court with my ex.

Well, technically it was supposed to be “with” my ex, but as usual with him, he didn’t show up; which was great for me, because it made it easy for the judge to approve another two years on the order of protection that keeps him away from us.

What wasn’t usual about the scenario, was that I didn’t write about it. As you know, my blog, and this page, were born from my struggle to leave domestic violence, and my ex, behind me. For the last several years you have all watched as I detailed the court dates and hearings that surround the ending of a relationship with domestic violence.

But this time, I didn’t write a word… until now.

I thought about that as I was driving to the courthouse yesterday; thought about how few people knew I was going, and how odd it was to realize that unlike the past, this court date snuck up on me. Snuck up on me, because I hadn’t been thinking about it. I stood in the hallway with my attorney, looking at photos and police reports from a time in my life that feels so far away, and it felt like we were talking about a life that wasn’t even mine.

Being abused, is such a small part of my life now. I’m no longer a nervous, worried wreck walking into court. I don’t dwell on the court dates as they move closer on the calendar. I don’t really think of my ex at all to be honest, unless I’m wondering why he hasn’t paid child support, or I come across a funny meme.

But what shocks me the most, is that when I was in the midst of leaving DV, my only goal was to find the person that I used to be, and become strong enough to face my ex.

And I think… Maybe I was wrong. I don’t think you ever become who you used to be before you were abused; in fact, I know that I’ve become someone better. And although being strong enough to face my ex was a major accomplishment, my biggest accomplishment by far, has been forgetting about him.

He was a horrible human being who turned me into a much better one, and now that he’s gone, all that’s left, is more than anything I could ever have imagined.

After I said my good-byes to my attorney and went to go about my day, I looked up, and saw a tiny little rainbow peeking through the clouds; as if, after all the years that I cried out to God for help, the heavens were finally answering back.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t see the path that you were on. I saw every step you took, on the one that I laid out for you.”

And while I don’t want to be that person that throws out the words “don’t give up, keep fighting, it does get better,” I also think I’ve earned the right to say them.

There is a better life after abuse. Because whether your abuser led you to believe it, or not, we all deserve the rainbow.

Tags: , , ,

You may also like

20 Comments

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:21 am

    I think there’s one small correction though.
    Your horrible ex didn’t turn you into this great new person. You did.
    He supplied the challenges – but you chose how you responded.
    You chose what you did with it, and YOU built yourself into this strong new person.

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:21 am

    So happy that you have made it to this point. 😊

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:22 am

    Esther White
    Thinking of your group!

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:22 am

    Stephanie Biley my sister this is a blogger/ real human for you to follow… and while I can’t say that ive been in the exact same position as either of you YOU both make all around you better humans b/c you are in the world and have shared your lives with us…. i hope you know how much you mean to so many people… ❤️❤️❤️

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:23 am

    That’s beautiful, Eden! I’m so glad you finally had an easy day for a change.

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:23 am

    Thanks for sharing this! I feel so happy and proud of you making it this far and setting yourself free! ❤️🌈✨

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:23 am

    This makes my heart so happy for you!

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:24 am

    Awesome to see you living the beautiful life you’ve always deserved. 💖

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:24 am

    So proud of you!

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:24 am

    God’s promise… God’s presence

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:25 am

    No experience but thankful you’re finding peace at this point and wishing you the best life has to offer xoxo

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:25 am

    Beautifully written.

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:25 am

    Not kidding. I cried reading how far you’ve come. You are such a warrior & now you get to concentrate on being a warrior for your family in a totally different way. So happy for you!

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:26 am

    I just wanted to say that I haven’t experienced abuse but this post still speaks to me where I am today with infertility and miscarriages. Thank you!💝

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:26 am

    Very well said. I am so glad you didnt have stress or anxiety this go round and that your life is full of joy and happiness

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:27 am

    “I dont really think of my ex at all to be honest, unless i’m wondering why he hasnt paid child support, or I come across a funny meme”. Thank you tita. I’m saving this and rereading it again and again. 💖💖💖

  • Facebook
    September 5, 2019 at 10:27 am

    “my biggest accomplishment by far, has been forgetting about him”. Word.

  • Instagram
    September 5, 2019 at 10:28 am

    Gah, all the feels 😭💜💜💜

  • Instagram
    September 5, 2019 at 10:29 am

    Oh lady, this makes me just SO happy for you. I’ve followed you for years and it’s been amazing to see you living the life you’ve always deserved! Huge happy hug your way!

  • Instagram
    September 5, 2019 at 10:29 am

    I’ve probably said this 1 million times but I’m so thankful to have been on this journey with you because even though I’m far away I feel so close to you and this post today I can honestly relate to❤️

LEAVE A COMMENT

I’m On Facebook!

Facebook Pagelike Widget

Things You May Have Missed: