Things That Make You Ask “Why?” Part 7


Yay! It’s time for another edition of “things that just make you ask why” courtesy of Eden’s phone.
(IN OTHER NEWS; make sure you read to the bottom for a few random updates to Not My Shame’s media pages)

Why am I going to have a heart attack at the ripe old age of 31? Because this is what happens when you tell a guy “Yea, I don’t really care, just get me something.” He comes back with cheese fries, more cheese fries, potato skins hiding under a pile of cheese, sour cream, and bacon, and some 9,780 calorie sandwich masquerading as lettuce. You had better believe we ate it all and then we got ice cream.

Why was this on the clearance rack? Not enough immigrants shopping here during the holiday season? This was in a size 3T! How funny, I’ve never seen that before. It’s good that they are catering to the masses but it was still funny to see since you typically see this printed on onsie’s for infants.

Why are my friends so awesome? I told my friend that my girl child asked me why God didn’t love her enough to give her a daddy, and two days later this showed up in my mailbox.

Why bother clipping coupons when stores already run amazing sales like this!? Now I just need to figure out where I’m going to store it all…

Why is this called a bralette instead of a bra?

Because it’s Kohl’s way of convincing you that you no longer need to wear a shirt. “No, it’s not just overalls and a bra, it’s a bralette, which is clearly not a bra because it has all those extra letters at the end of the word!”

Why does it not suprise me that when a guy texts me asking what I’m doing and I text him this photo,

Recognize this photo from another post? I used it in the post “Back When I Was a Cutter.”

He texts me back a photo captioned “that’s funny, I’m doing the exact same thing!”

Why did I do a happy dance in the middle of the store? Because this little genius invention meant that I didn’t have to hard boil eggs just to watch the kids break them all while dying them for Easter!

Why this is a little scary driving next to….

Why uh, why doesn’t this fit on the holder? Oh yea, because the toilet paper apparently didn’t come with a hole in the roll this time.

Why don’t you pull a little farther away from the pick-up window my dear? Go-go gadget arms!

The woman in the car and the woman at the window were both hanging completely out of their respective locations just to be able to hand the food off. I could see what pants they were wearing.

Why did my jaw hit the floor at my clients house? Because this is the vacuum they gave me to use. This almost tops the time someone asked me to use their cast iron Kirby vacuum from the 1940’s and I couldn’t even move it.

Why look at this!? According to TIME magazine, being locked in the closet may have helped my brain to grow and evolve in ways that will make me a more aware person. Lucky me.

Why is this funny? Because the waitress was a complete airhead and dropped off my birthday dessert and said “Happy Birthday. I was going to light it……..but I didn’t.” That waitress is lucky she is cute because there was not a whole lot going on in the brain department.

Why is there a dog at the gym, who appears to be alone…?

The dog is actually inside, he is just on the other side of the hallway door.

Why does it not surprise me that I would find this at Walmart? I guess you don’t need “fancy”sizing labels when they allow you to shop in your pajama’s or half naked.

Why did this freak me out a little bit? Because this was the result of a five question survey that asked the most bizarre questions such as “which movie line is your favorite,” “which actor is your favorite,” and “what would you eat for breakfast.” Each question had four answers you could select from and I personally thought all the choices sucked. Somehow though it still managed to work because um…this is totally me. According to this survey I need to move to New Hampshire and “be with my people.”

I was so convinced that this was rigged that I took it a few more times choosing different answers and I got results that were nothing like me. Tell me that I haven’t written posts that are exactly like this? “Doesn’t Everyone Get All Dressed Up To Watch a Strange Man Pee,” “Anyone Up for a Little Branding,“Before I Knew It My Boobs Were On The News,” and “I Didn’t Win The Battle” come to mind. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve taken a survey, so it was odd that I even decided to take this one.

Well that’s all I have for now! Now enter: THE OTHER NEWS. Dramatic enough?

Hopefully you weren’t expecting anything to exciting, otherwise, prepare yourself for disappointment.

I finally got my Google+ page up, so feel free to friend me, I’m looking forward to interacting with you all! My page is very sad and lonely with no one in my circles.

I know that some of you Facebooked my page after I posted the link on here, but Facebook is only putting my posts on some of your newsfeeds, which is Facebook’s way of trying to make me pay to let all of you receive my notifications. In order to have my status updates show up in your newsfeed, you are going to have to visit my page and periodically “like” my status’s so that Facebook see’s that you actually want to read them. Ugh. I’m actually more of a Facebook girl than a Google+ girl, so I’m not giving up on Facebook just yet.

In more random news, my article “Sex and the Single Mom” is up over on Lifetime Moms.

Lastly, after reading all of your helpful advice in the comments section, check back in a day or two to see if I decided to stay with Secret Agent Man or Doctor Dude. I’m planning to write the post tomorrow and I can’t wait to see what you all have to say about the choice I made.

I’m actually a little scared haha.

Have a wonderful Thursday everyone and remember,

You are amazing. You are precious. You are smart. You are beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you differently, and don’t ever forget it, because
                                                             
                                                  YOU. ARE. LOVED.
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15 Comments

  • afairytale84
    June 12, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    Uh, how does one get stuck upside down on one of those bungee trampoline things? That due has some mad skills. Not the type of skills I'd want to have, mind you, but seriously. I've been on those a couple of times. I'm trying to wrap my head around how to get stuck like that, haha.I think that's the biggest “My first Thanksgiving” article of clothing I have ever seen. Egads!Do you have room for 70 boxes of Chex cereal? That's a pretty sweet deal you found.Ah, bralettes. I haven't heard the term before but I've seen people wearing those with overalls. Mostly in Walmart, to be honest.Why didn't the lady in the car at the drive thru just open her door and get out of the car? Why the need to hang out of the car?Funny story about a drive thru though. I was at McDonalds last week sitting at the pay window and chatting with the cashier (is that what they're called when it's not a retail store?) and waiting for the cars in front of me to move. All of a sudden I hear a loud WHACK and my car jolts backwards. The idiot in front of me apparently realized he forgot to pay and put his car in reverse and hit the gas without bothering to look to make sure nobody was behind him. Luckily our cars were only slightly scratched and there was no real damage, but geez, dude! LOOK before you reverse! Also, don't reverse at the drive thru!I liked (followed? I'm so behind the times when it comes to terminology) you on Facebook. I'll have to check Google+. Never used it before.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 12, 2014 at 2:52 pm

      That’s exactly what I said! I was like “how on earth did you get stuck!” The girl that was operating it was trying really hard to be professional, but you could tell she was dying of laughter inside. She said that she had never seen that happen before. He is never going to live that down….I’m going to make sure of it hahaha!

      Rice chex for everyone!!! Now I just need a sale on 30 gallons of milk….

      She should have just gotten out of the car lol!! I hadn’t even thought of that.

      That’s crazy that the guy hit you! Was he embarrassed?

  • Mzfuzz
    June 12, 2014 at 11:20 pm

    And you….Are…..Nuts. In the best possible way. What is up with that toilet paper?? “Ooops. We forgot the hole in the donut. Oh well. Stick it on there anyway!” See your G+ page for two rebuttal photographs.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 12, 2014 at 2:52 pm

      I’m more than nuts, I am the definition of crazy lol.

      Seriously, the toilet paper, wtf??? How did it even roll up on thier machines without the paper tube!?

  • afairytale84
    June 13, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    Got any dairy farms near you? You could just go milk some cows. ;)The guy was really angry when he got out of his car. He started yelling at me and screaming and asking what the f*** I was doing in his way. I was like, “Uh, dude? YOU backed into me. Where was I supposed to go?” and when he realized the McDonalds cashier had seen the whole thing, he apologized and grumpily got back into his car and drove off without even getting his food.So they gave me his food and didn't charge me. It was kinda awesome because all I was getting was a quick drink because it was all I could afford. But then I got a burger and fries to go with it!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 13, 2014 at 2:52 pm

      Ha! Well there’s an idea!

      Well yay for free food! What did you do about the scratches to your car!? I think it’s really funny when people flip out and they realize they were in the wrong…..I get an evil little pleasure out of that….

  • Anonymous
    June 14, 2014 at 7:36 pm

    Soooo lucky a guy brought you such a sinful snack. I believe in healthy, organic, yada, yada, but sometimes it's nice to have someone indulge you in a bit of sinful eating :)Absolutely love the bathtub response. What a wonderful sense of humor! Could it the same guy that brought you that most wonderful snack? ;)OK, so the drive thru lady. I've never used a drive thru (healthy and organic remember?), but I have the same problem when using parking garages. I pretty much have to get out of my car to press the button, insert my ticket, etc. Now though, you mean to tell me the woman in the car was hanging out of her window, and made the staff hang out their window? FAIL! She could have at least gotten out of her vehicle, and approached the window…geez. I know you're not allowed to walk thru a drive thru, but I'm sure it's not illegal to get out of your vehicle, because you have no sense of dimension, and to plainly avoid both parties falling out of both respective windows, and fall flat on their faces.Always love your post about things that make you ask why :)No pressure or anything, but it's been more than a day or two 🙂 Looking forward to read about the choice you've made!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 22, 2014 at 2:52 pm

      Sorry, I’m not sure if you will see my reply or not, somehow your comment was moved to my spam box and I just noticed it.

      Yes, I only buy organic and healthy for my home, but when I’m out, all bets are off!! I do love me some cheese fries 😉

      That is really funny about the parking garage!!

      Also by now, the blog is up about the choice I made!

  • Anonymous
    June 14, 2014 at 9:20 pm

    Who needs 60 boxes of Chex? I guess someone who needs to make industrial amounts of party mix?Have you considered the Scary Mommy blog? Not sure how it works to have your blog posted there, but it seems right up your alley…a nice balance between sharing, understanding and controversial. Thought I would mention it, in case you didn't know about it. It could get your name out there as well. I've found many great blogs through that site 🙂

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 14, 2014 at 2:52 pm

      With “buy 10 get 60 free” I’m surprised they had any left 😉

      I haven’t seen that blog but I am going to check it out now! You have piqued my interest. 😉 Thanks for sharing!
      AnonymousJune 14, 2014 at 10:28 PM

      Woohoo…I will send you the link then. I know it’s not difficult to find, but just in case you don ‘t find it…you’ll do great there,!

      http://www.scarymommy.com/

  • Anonymous
    June 15, 2014 at 3:28 am

    Woohoo…I will send you the link then. I know it's not difficult to find, but just in case you don 't find it…you'll do great there,!http://www.scarymommy.com/

  • Anonymous
    June 16, 2014 at 1:30 am

    Man…that meal is exactly what I need right now…Where I live, they just don't serve that…

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 16, 2014 at 2:53 pm

      They don’t serve cheese fries!!?? Where do you live!?

  • afairytale84
    June 16, 2014 at 8:38 pm

    My coworker had some kind of…glue? paint? Liquid AWESOMENESS? that covered it up. I'm so not a car person and I didn't actually see him put it on my car so I'm not sure exactly what it was. I just told him the story and he said, “Hey, I've got something that'll cover up the scratches…” and went outside. The scratches were barely noticeable to begin with, but now they're gone. So yay!I get an evil little pleasure out of it too. 😉

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 17, 2014 at 2:52 pm

      Ah! I think that is what they used to fix the scratches on my car after the car wash people hit it with their carpet cleaner. Seriously, what is that stuff? I’ve been trying to figure it out!!

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