An Entire Relationship From Beginning To End, In Text Messages!

**In this new kind of post, the majority of it will take place in text messages. If it seems a bit choppy, look at the time stamp on the messages because it may not have been a series of conversations. I tried to put asterisks where I could in order to separate them.**
A couple months ago a well meaning friend gave my phone number to a guy she thought I should date. She showed him a picture of me, gave him my number, and the guy came at the whole idea with gusto.
It was a bit intense.
After my attempts to ignore him failed, I finally responded that yes, he could call me, and thus started the beginning of our “relationship,” which I am about to let you view through a series of text messages.
To start you off, we are at the point where I finally agreed to talk to him on the phone. We talked on the phone after the 9:11pm text and during that (phone) conversation I told him about my awful 1st (and last) dates with “1 percentor” and Sparkles, the head massager. After the phone conversation we pick up talking again via text.
Please note that I am the peach speech bubble.


I did not agree to go out with him, but that didn’t sway his intentions.



And here is the moment that inevitably comes with every guy I meet, the moment when they ask “the question.” I still wasn’t into this dude so I actually thought being blunt might just scare him away.



But then eventually over the phone — even after I told him that I was seeing a few other people and wasn’t looking for anything else — I somehow agreed to dinner. He texted me after we hung up and said the cost was all on him. This picks up where I am disagreeing to that sentiment.
But when the day of the date arrived, I started kicking myself because I really didn’t want to go. Here I am talking to a friend. Please note the time stamps, as I start out talking to her before the date, and then text her during the date. The last two texts in these screen shots were sent during the date.


As you can see, we hit it off. Yes, he was super cute, but the conversation was even better.
Jumping backwards just a little bit, these messages were sent to the guy while I was on my way to our date. I am texting him (I pulled over!) because I was running late.
And as you saw from my conversation with my friend, my bitchiness was not only rude, but completely unfounded. I was having a great time and here I am checking in with my babysitter:
When the date ended he started texting me almost as soon as I got home. I was telling him that I wished we had been able to chat a little more at the bar, but it had been so loud (there was a band playing there that night) it was hard to hear.



I went to bed that night feeling pleased about the date, but a little bit pressured by his overwhelming flattery. From my experience that amount of flattery typically has less to do with you and more to do with them. Still though, I was excited to see where things might go.
He followed up with me again the very next morning. We pick up here after he told me that he had slept in because he was up most of the night, and I’m chiming in with what I had done that morning and about renting the movie “Annie.”




Then I told him that I was going to take a nap, and note the time stamp, I slept for a long time!
Alright, now here is where it’s going to get a bit confusing because there really is no good way to arrange these screen shots in chronological order. Please keep in mind that these conversations with various people are overlapping each other.
Enter Frisbee Boy’s Mom, checking in with me about the date.


And here is where I actually asked the Guy for Wednesday night.



And here is WHY I asked the guy out on Wednesday night. Here I am talking to a friend about him and telling him that even though I had a good time, I wasn’t totally sure if I wanted to go out with him again.


Halfway through this next screenshot she calls me to tell me to pull my act together and stop pushing the nice guys away. At that time I was also in the middle of texting with Frisbee Boy’s mom who as you just saw was offering to babysit, and so I texted the guy and set the date for Wednesday. Then I go back to talking to my friend



But after a while his affection became a bit overwhelming and as I had mentioned to my friend, it was starting to wear on me.
Over the next few days we continued to chat and joke around.


And I made fun of him for his job as a drug sales rep for a medication that treats incontinence, as well as the fact that he is older than me.




My friends kept asking about him.




But then just like that it was over. Here I am telling a friend about it.


Well folks, that’s what dating looks like in today’s world; a bunch of random traits, benefits, and flaws trying to fit together into something that works. And thanks to technology these days, the entire thing can be replayed over and over again through the screen of your phone.

The ending was over the phone and about as pleasant as you can get in that situation. I more or less just explained that I felt like we were in different places in our lives and although I could empathize completely with how emotional a divorce is, that I just wasn’t in a place where I felt like I could re-live that process right now. I know it sounds harsh and heartless, but it’s the truth. I’m working very hard to let go of anger and move forward, and I’m not in the position to have someone constantly reminding me of drawing the short sticks in life.

He is a great guy and I wish him the best, but for us it was the end.

The End.

If You Liked This, Check Out Some Of My Bad Dates!
Tags: ,

You may also like


  • Mzfuzz
    June 28, 2015 at 1:17 pm

    Things begin, then they end. Such is the way of the world. You have to be honest with yourself, and with others. And, having been single for 3+ years now, sometimes that's the best place to be. Thanks for sharing! Loved the camel meme, and the umbrella joke. 😀

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 29, 2015 at 4:27 am

      Haha!! I liked the camel meme too. And look at you, you rock single life! You do more than any couple I know!!

  • Anonymous
    June 28, 2015 at 2:20 pm

    “…who knows, I like popcorn.”Dying.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 29, 2015 at 4:26 am

      Hehe 😉

  • crackerjack
    June 29, 2015 at 12:14 am

    That was just too flipping funny. Girl, you are hilarious. Keep on living your life, your way, and never feel guilty about releasing all the non keepers back into the sea of life.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 29, 2015 at 4:26 am

      I actually debated long and hard on posting this because I wasn’t sure if it was just stupid. Glad I did!

      And yes, fishies, swim away and find another fish!

  • Anonymous
    June 29, 2015 at 1:00 am

    Hahaha! I want your number just so we can text, everything you say is so funny! Mostly though I love how he showers you with compliments and you always bring it back to earth by making fun of yourself. You can tell your head is grounded and you don't walk around in an ego bubble.I also think it's pretty neat that we can see that you really practice what you preach on here, the whole “Im a big advocate of people feeling proud of themselves” and how you respond to your past with the “onward and upward” attitude. There was something else that caught my attention too along the same lines, where you said something that was another point you make in the blog.Either way thanks for the inside scoop I love this blog!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 29, 2015 at 4:25 am

      Too funny!! Thank you very much 🙂

  • Bea
    June 29, 2015 at 2:09 am

    Sometimes I don't know what is worse: being married (I am) or the thought of having to get out there and date again.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 29, 2015 at 4:25 am

      Haha, from my experience they both have their moments!

  • Sridhar Chandrasekaran
    June 29, 2015 at 5:30 am

    You have such an interesting blog. Thanks for sharing. I'm a self-help blog author and reading blogs is my hobby and I randomly found your blog. I enjoyed reading your posts. All the best for your future blogging endeavors. Please keep in touch with me in Twitter, @ipersuade.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 29, 2015 at 4:24 am

      Thank you!

  • afairytale84
    June 29, 2015 at 6:22 pm

    My sister just got out of a relationship with a guy like that. Unfortunately, it took her moving across the country and signing a one-year lease with him to finally realize just how smothering he was. He never told her she couldn't do anything, but if she ever went ANYWHERE (and I mean, she had to go to the corner store to buy tampons once), he had to go with her. Because he just loved and loved and loved her and couldn't stand to be away from her.Also, I freaking love your sense of humor. You're hilarious. 🙂

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 29, 2015 at 4:27 am

      Oh wowzers, that sucks! At least she didn’t marry him first I guess!

      I’m telling you, smother, #thestruggleisreal

  • afairytale84
    June 29, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    Erm, left out part of a sentence there. She signed a one-year lease on an apartment with him and broke up with him five months later.

  • afairytale84
    June 29, 2015 at 11:13 pm

    Yeah, it wasn't a good situation. They both graduated college and were going to drive across the country to move to California “at the end of the summer” after working all summer to save up money.Except “at the end of the summer” ended up being June 16.Neither of them had jobs. Neither of them had even applied for any jobs. I asked her what part of California she was moving to, and she just said “Oh, I don't know. We'll figure it out when we get there.”I had to remind her that California is not like Delaware. It's not like you can just plop yourself down in one place and be at the other end of the state in an hour or two…

    • NotMyShametoBear
      July 2, 2015 at 9:57 am

      Oh gosh! Uh… wow lol.

  • Anonymous
    October 10, 2015 at 3:56 pm

    Hi! Just stumbled across your blog after reading an article you wrote for Yahoo and I felt compelled to say YOU ROCK!! OMG I can hardly stop reading. At the risk of awkward over-flattery from a complete stranger (I promise I'm not at all the “smother-y” type haha 🙂 ) you are so incredibly strong, talented, determined and hilarious. And from one momma to another, an amazing inspiration to women everywhere. Keep up the great work!! Just found the donate button…a little something coming your way. 🙂

    • NotMyShametoBear
      October 10, 2015 at 5:30 am

      Hahaha, LOVE IT. After reading all the hater comments over on Yahoo, your unbelievably sweet compliments were a breath of fresh air! Thank you so much 🙂


Comments are closed here.

Connect With Me On Facebook!

Facebook Pagelike Widget

Things You May Have Missed: