That Time I Handed A Duffle Bag Full Of Cash To A Dude In A Parking Lot
The next morning I set out to meet Mr. Attorney Man for breakfast. I got there first so I waited for him in the parking lot, and when he arrived I simply said “Oh here, let me pay you before we go in” and handed him the bag.
Mr. Attorney Man: What is this?
Me: Money. You said you take cash.
Mr. Attorney Man: This is all cash?
Me: Well, I figured that as an attorney part of why you got into the business was for the ridiculous amount of money you could make, and since you write off most of my bills I thought I could at least give you the opportunity to… I don’t know, roll around in some cash or throw it up in the air or whatever you were dreaming about when you chose this career. Also, I’ve always wanted to be involved in a parking lot transaction with a duffle bag full of cash, so I hope you don’t mind that you are a mere pawn in me being able to check this off my bucket list.
Mr. Attorney Man: My boss is going to kill me.
He then put it in his car and that was that.
Well that was decidedly less fun than I was hoping for. About the only thrilling moment was when a cop car rolled up DIRECTLY next to us in the parking lot, slowed down, looked at us, the two of us then looked at each other holding a large bag of cash, and we laughed at the irony as the cop thankfully drove away.
I will say though, when Mr. Attorney Man texted me a few pictures later I was able to rectify how awesome my plan was with the story I made up to go along with his pictures:
See that one? It was taken in his car. I’m going to assume that he took the picture after he left to send to his girlfriend or his friends and say “someone just paid me with a bag of cash.”
Do you know why he would do that?
Because this is totally a story that you tell people!
Speaking of other people, here’s a few pictures that he texted me of his boss checking out my payment. Apparently his boss made a big pile of cash…
Followed by a large stack of cash…
…And then deduced that his bank was going to think that he was crazy.
I can live with that.
I guess some plans just seem funnier in my head than they are in real life, which, you know, isn’t unusual for me.
Oh well, onto the next victim.