When Telling Your “Boyfriend” To Take Another Girl Out Backfires

So, my dating life. It’s weird, I’ll admit it.

The Detective Whose Name I Do Not Like and I have been seeing each other for….six months ish (?) and it’s been going really well. Part of why it has been going well is the fact that we aren’t exclusive.

(GASP)

I know, I know, simmer down people, simmer down. My friends don’t get it AT ALL and to be honest, I don’t really care. This, whatever this is right now, my dating situation, it’s working for me. It is what it is, nothing more, nothing less, and that’s the simplicity of it.

Besides The Detective I am casually seeing someone else as well. The Detective is kind of my go-to guy, but at this point I’m not really sure that he is “the one.” We are definitely more than casual and I would say that we are some kind of something, but I’m not really interested in totally committing myself to him right now. Because of that I’ve encouraged him to continue to see other people too, which he is.

I know, I know, “Eden, how can you be ok investing yourself and messing around with some dude and then have him take another girl out to dinner the next night?”

I dunno, I just am.

It truly, truly, does not bother me.

I’m at the point where, if the opportunity presents itself, I would eventually like to be in a monogamous long term relationship, but I’m just not sure yet if The Detective is the one I want to be monogamous with. I really, really, like him, I just don’t know if I want to like him for an extended period of time yet. I’m not looking to openly date and then jump into a marriage or anything, I just don’t feel it necessary to rush any monogomous commitments right now. Since that’s the case, it’s really not fair for me to require monogamy from him if I’m not willing to offer the same and so open dating it is. If he meets someone else that he likes more than me in the meantime, well, I would honestly be really happy for him and I would move on to finding someone that is a better fit for me.

So here I am, dating Mr. Detective Man and another guy, which I will admit, is working out fabulously for me.

For The Detective? Apparently not so much.
Want to hear a really awful, funny, strange, ironic story?

Last weekend The Detective went boating with some friends. When he got there he realized that there was a girl there that he had taken on a date two weeks prior. My understanding of the situation was that they went out, he didn’t really feel a connection, she asked him out again, and he was honest with her about his feelings and suggested that they just be friends.

So The Detective finds himself at this group boating party with the girl that he had gone out with once before and then never again. The situation was rather awkward, the two of them being trapped on a boat together; her most likely feeling a little embarrassed and him feeling like a schmuck.

Apparently this girl was bisexual and also into the open lifestyle. The Detective only found this out when he saw her making out with her girlfriend in the water. The other people on the boat filled him in that she was bisexual and her girlfriend was a lesbian. The story goes that the lesbian girlfriend was giving the bisexual girlfriend the opportunity to date a man outside of their relationship so that she could “meet all her needs.” I’m not judging, that was just an added little twist that he was not expecting.

That though, was not nearly as unexpected as what happened next. The bisexual girl at one point more or less cornered him near the back of the boat and demanded to know why he didn’t want to take her out again. Trying to be cordial, he kept telling her that he just didn’t feel a connection and thought that they would be better off as friends.

She wasn’t buying it, burst into tears, and retreated to the arms of her girlfriend.

Finally the boat docked and The Detective was able to get away from that horribly awkward situation. He found himself standing in the parking lot, facing his car, and listening to a voicemail from me when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

He turned around and WHACK the lesbian girlfriend of the bisexual girl he went out with punched him right in the nose.

Twice.

Hard.

She broke his nose and gave him a black eye that rivals the one I had after my surgery.

The Detective finds himself standing there, bleeding all over, and the lesbian girlfriend is screaming at him that “you made my girlfriend cry!! No one makes my girlfriend cry and gets away with it!!”

Obviously he can’t hit her because she is a girl, so he jumps in his car and speeds away. Now I know this sounds crazy, I didn’t believe it either, so naturally I sneakily verified this story with his friends.

Mr. Detective Man ends up showing up at my house so that I can help him fix his broken face.

There I find myself, tending to the broken nose of someone involved in a domestic dispute, just like I have helped countless women before, except that this time it is the nose of my kind of – but not really – boyfriend who got punched in the face by the lesbian girlfriend of the bisexual that he went out with after I encouraged him to see other women, which my friends think is cheating on me.

Because that’s normal……

Photo Credits:
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