Part Two Of The Threatening Female Friend (And All The Hateful Stuff She Said About Me To The Guy I’m Dating)


If you remember from the previous part of this unique three-part-post, I had been struggling to get comfortable with the very close relationship that the guy I’m dating, has with a female friend. Where we left off, I was having a difficult time balancing my genuine concerns over the closeness of their relationship, with my guilt that maybe the cheating ways of the previous men in my life might be the only reason I felt suspicious that something might be going on.

If you haven’t yet read Part One, you can find that by clicking here.

******************

So there we were, him wanting to know what he could do to ease my mind, and me not even sure what I should be worried about.

I’m sure that at this point you must be envisioning some huge, drama filled situation that plagued us heavily on a daily basis, but I promise you it wasn’t like that. It was more like a constant yet almost inaudible level of annoyance, that was still very much there, and would occasionally turn the volume up until we paid it some attention.

But that still doesn’t mean that it ever went away.

Then, several weeks ago, The Guy, the kids, and I were at a park. The Boy Child quickly struck up a friendship with another boy his age, and while watching them play, I struck up a conversation with the child’s dad. We chit-chatted about whatever it is that people talk about while making small talk over the sandbox, and then The Girl Child came running over to me with gum stuck to her arm. Being very aware that she had not been chewing gum, I gagged a little bit and the boy’s dad quickly fished an antibacterial wipe out of his FANNY PACK so that I could clean The Girl Child off.


After thanking him, he admitted that he was no longer with his son’s mother, and that he gets nervous when he has him on the weekends because he is afraid that he might accidentally send him home broken and dirty and never hear the end of it. We both laughed, and in turn, I admitted that I had just been to court a couple days’ prior for my own spousal drama. Then we were both shocked to figure out that he had been in the same courthouse on the same day, for his own case.
Now mind you, The Guy I’m dating was with me the whole time, and all three of us had watched the boys play together for a couple of hours. So when Playground Dad asked if he could get my number so that he could call me the next time he took his son to the park and “maybe the boys could play together again,” I didn’t think much of it before giving it to him.
I later found out that The Guy was not at all OK with that.

“It kind of felt like a punch in the gut” he admitted to me when we got in the car. “I mean I was standing right there, and you just gave your number to some dude that for all I know, thinks you’re hot and wants to get to know you better.”
I stood there for a minute while the word HYPOCRITE ran through my brain, but with mature Eden whispering loudly in my ear, I didn’t say anything right then. I apologized for unintentionally hurting his feelings, and I asked if we could talk about it later.
We did.

I started out by asking him why he was OK with me having friendships with other guys, but not Playground Dad. “Well,” he explained, “I know that you never cross any lines with those other guys, but I don’t know Playground Dad. I don’t know what his intentions are and it makes me feel really uncomfortable to think about you going out with him, because I’m not sure that I trust he just wants to be friends; I just have a strange feeling about him.”

Trying really hard to form my words into something that would be well received by him and not cause his defenses to go up (as they would in any normal person that is about to be called out), I asked him if he trusted me.
He said he did.

I asked him if I’d given him any reason to think that I was going to cross a line with Playground Dad and he reiterated that it wasn’t me he didn’t trust, but that he didn’t know Playground Dad or what his intentions were. I asked him, if he got to know Playground Dad, and he found out that Playground Dad was calling me at night to talk about his relationship problems, or if he was inviting me over to his house for a drink without inviting him (The Guy) along too, or if I was texting with Playground Dad during our dates, and Playground Dad started calling me a pet name, and asking me if his clothes looked sexy, would I be crossing a line then? Would it still be OK as long as he trusted me and nothing sexual had happened?
The Guy just looked at me for a really long time before he said…. “no, no I wouldn’t be OK with that, but I would expect you to never let it get that far because I’m the guy that you are dating and I should be the only one that you are talking to like that and doing those things with.…. and……. wow. I’ve really fucked up haven’t I?”

“Look,” I said. “I know that you have been friends with her for 24 years, and I know that you’ve always had a super close relationship with her, but relationships change. They have to in order to move forward. If they didn’t change, most men would still be living with his mother while she did his laundry and cooked his meals, and not many women would want to date that, just like not many women would be OK with the man they were dating having a very close relationship with another woman if it didn’t include her in some way. Some women may be OK with that, but I’m coming to realize that in the context of your relationship with her, that I’m not OK with it.”
He sat there for a few minutes just looking at me, and I think for the first time ever, we both understood something that we had failed to grasp before.
Speaking first, I said what I’d been feeling for a really long time and just hadn’t been able to fully encase into a logical thought. “You see the thing is,” I almost whispered as I attempted to steady my thoughts, “I don’t want to feel like I need to fight for my place in this relationship. In fact… I won’t do it.With her using you as her support system in a failing marriage, you are taking the place of what her husband should be doing for her, and she is filling the role of what you are supposed to be doing for me, by being her private confidant. Then, when she is asking you if her outfit is sexy, and calling you names that only I should be calling you, and you allow it, you are putting me in the position where I feel like I need to fight for my place with the person who should be respecting my position the most. I should be your one and only in a lot of those respects, and you are leaving me to compete for that spot with another woman.”
Looking as if he were going to cry, the only thing he said at first was “you are right. I never saw it that way, but you are right and I can’t argue with anything that you just said.”
Then we both sat there awkwardly staring at each other until he asked “what do you want me to do?”

Thinking it over for a few minutes, I finally said “I’m not going to answer that, because you are a grown man and I’m not going to make decisions for you. I’m not going to tell you to stop talking to your friends, because I’m done competing against them. The only thing that I know, is that I’m not OK with this. I won’t do this anymore, and whatever you decide is up to you. Sometimes people just don’t work out, and that is alright. Sometimes we need or want different things, and that is OK, but this is not what I want, and I need to think about what I want to do at this point.”
And that was the truth.

This wasn’t done or said out of manipulation, and this wasn’t a silent ultimatum for me to get him to do what I wanted. I wasn’t screaming “it’s me or her!,” It was me realizing that I was not comfortable with the way that things had been going, and knowing that I didn’t wish to proceed any further down the path that we were on. I was standing up for what I wanted, and accepting that he may not be able to give me what I needed.
“I really thought that we were just friends” he muttered. “I mean we are just friends, nothing has ever happened and I have absolutely no interest in her other than her friendship, but you are right. Somewhere along the line we got way too comfortable with each other, and I didn’t see it because I was too busy defending our platonic friendship to see that there is more to displacing your partner than just having sex with someone else.”
We didn’t make any decisions that night. We were both too emotionally charged and I just wanted to go to bed and figure things out in the morning.
But when the sun rose the next morning, before I had even gotten a chance to mull over the events from the night before, The Guy decided to make a grand gesture by relaying his newfound revelation to his female friend, and telling her that he couldn’t talk with her for a while because what they had been doing was wrong.
Oh no dude, please tell me you didn’t.

Oh but he did, and he did it before I even knew anything about it, and he did it by way of email.

I know, are you cringing now too?

He sent her an email saying that he had come to realize that their level of comfort with each other was not what he would be comfortable with me having with another guy, and out of respect for me, that he needed to reel it back a little bit. He told her that he valued her friendship, but that because they were both older and in serious relationships, that he thought it was best that they spend more time turning to their partners instead of turning to each other.
Her response was quick, brutal, and unrelenting; but that wasn’t even the most shocking part. Because what I came to realize in her response, was that my suspicions may not have been as unfounded as I would have liked to believe…

***********************

If You Remember…

In a totally new concept for this blog, this particular post will be spread out in a series of three separate posts. Basically what happened was I finished writing the post, realized that it was eight pages long, and had pity on those of you who attempt to squeeze a blog post in while you are riding the train to work or taking a five minute break from your kids. Dumping eight pages on you seemed unnecessarily harsh, so, stay tuned for part two which will be up in the next few days!

…So stay tuned for the final installment! 


**********************

If You Liked This, Here Are A Few More Relevant Posts!

You may also like

53 Comments

  • murrmurr_03
    June 8, 2016 at 11:12 am

    *waits eagerly for part 3* and *hugs*

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 14, 2016 at 5:49 am

      Yay!!

  • Traci DeMerchant
    June 8, 2016 at 5:47 pm

    ARGH!! You cut me off! just right there…. I can't WAIT. Sheesh, it's like you think I have patience or something. (I do not)

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 14, 2016 at 5:49 am

      Haha!! Too funny 🙂

  • Facebook
    June 8, 2016 at 6:19 pm

    I like your style Eden!!! I'm also glad you got the chance to speak up on the lingering issue of this “female friend.” I could not have done it any better if I tried. Can't wait for part 3. Don't keep us waiting too long. 🙂

  • Facebook
    June 8, 2016 at 6:19 pm

    i called it after reading the first installment. honestly, there's only one reason a woman spends this much time and energy on a man.you know what though? the “out of respect for her” is rubbing me wrong. it points to you as the bad guy here. it smells like its cousin “well, i don't really wanna, but she's making me”.

  • Facebook
    June 8, 2016 at 6:19 pm

    Your writing is so addicting. At the base of it I'm sorry for the drama you go through, but damn if you don't write it out well. You are so awesome.

  • Facebook
    June 8, 2016 at 6:20 pm

    Omg…. The suspense!!!!! Ahhhhh!!!!! Though seriously…. If your significant other is not your bff…. Something is kinda wrong….

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 14, 2016 at 11:15 am

      🙂

  • Facebook
    June 8, 2016 at 6:20 pm

    Rock on! Can't wait to read the rest.

  • Ashley
    June 8, 2016 at 6:47 pm

    SO MUCH YES!!! The only best friend that you should have of the opposite gender, if you are in a relationship with someone, is the person you are dating. As Eden said, that's her role. It's her right to be his “best” friend and she shouldn't have to compete for that spot! Because if he has some other woman filling that role, well then Eden doesn't need to stick around!

  • Facebook
    June 8, 2016 at 7:13 pm

    We need part three!!

  • Facebook
    June 8, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    I'm on the edge of my seat with this one…I cant wait!!!! I could read your blogs all day long!

  • Naked pop tart
    June 8, 2016 at 7:42 pm

    POST THREE!!!!! I am hoping the dramatic air of all caps will persuade you to drop everything and POST THREE!!!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 14, 2016 at 5:49 am

      Hahahaha!! LOVE IT.

  • Facebook
    June 8, 2016 at 8:17 pm

    we love you!!!

  • Emily and Anthony
    June 8, 2016 at 11:51 pm

    Ummm…the way you handled that was INCREDIBLY mature!! I would not have been that mature in my response to him! Good job, and I can't wait for part 3!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 14, 2016 at 5:49 am

      Thank you… trust me, it did not come naturally lol!

  • NomadicJazz-icFan
    June 8, 2016 at 11:52 pm

    “I know that you have been friends with her for 24 years, and I know that you’ve always had a super close relationship with her, but relationships change.”I might be the only one who shares this opinion but I can't help it feel that you are holding your mans friends gender against her. 24 years of friendship is a very long time- male or female. If the guy you're dating is in his mid 30's (speculation), that means he's known his friend since they were in elementary school! That's no “I just met her at the park yesterday” kind of scenario. If boundaries haven't crossed by now, I think it's safe to assume that they are very good friends that have always confided in one another; she just happens to be the opposite sex. If your mans female friend was a guy, you would not have a problem with the time he called/text, what advice he needed? I can't blame her for being offended that one of her best friends is cutting off ties with her. I can also see why your guy has had a hard time with this; he's put in a position (whether you like to admit it)where he has to choose between his long life friend or the woman he really likes (or loves). Now, I'm not saying all her intentions are good, I could only speculate with the limited information I have read. However, there are ways to set boundaries that are healthy for all parties involved. If your mans friend really cares about him and his happiness, his ongoing exclusive relationship (with you) should be just as important to her. She should want to meet the person who has swept him off his feet; and you should want to meet a friend that has been there since puberty. Imagine all the things you can learn about him through her! Now that you're in the picture, your man needs to set the boundaries. For example: “Hey friend, it's inappropriate to text me at 1am. If it's not an emergency, it can wait for a better time.” or “thanks for inviting me to your party, is it ok if I bring Eden?” These are simple things your man can do to make it clear you are his partner and that his old friendship now comes in a pair. Most people with good intentions will not mind these boundaries, at all. I get why you would be uneasy seeing the sexy photos asking for fashion advice, but is she sending lingerie shoots? I ask just because the other day I sent my really good female friend (15 years+) a photo of a shirt I was thinking of wearing to a date. I know her significant other and he's comfortable enough to understand I'm not trying to get in her pants and can really use advice from somebody I trust and knows fashion. Is it possible your man and her friend have a similar dynamic? Again, just playing devils advocate. I just know 24 years is a long time, a duration that has exceeded most peoples relationships, even with their own family. I also believe he can have you and his friend in his life as long as he makes it clear to his friend that certain things have to change- like you suggested. But she doesn't need to be out of the picture for your relationship to flourish. If anything, the opposite should be occurring- this is when he should be open with his life and share the life long friends that have been there and know him really well. Anyways, good luck with everything. PS- “Playground Dad” wants more than a simple playdate 🙂

  • Facebook
    June 9, 2016 at 3:55 am

    Jajaja I just want to know how did it end. Cause I had the same problem with my husband. But at least your bf understood you. Mine finally did but it was not easy.

  • Anonymous
    June 9, 2016 at 4:13 am

    I say this with all due respect, but I think that you missed the point. He didn't cut ties with her. He told the friend that “he said that he needed to reel it back a bit and spend more time turning to their partners.” My understanding was not that he was “cutting ties” with her, but that he wanted to, as you suggested “make it clear that certain things need to change.”I think Eden tried really hard to preserve their friendship, despite their gender, BECA– USE they had been friends for so long. But as you could see by this “friends” explosive reaction, she didn't have the same respect for Eden's relationship with the guy that Eden had been trying to have with the friend's relationship with the guy.I also think the difference is that when you are the opposite gender, even if things are platonic, since there is the possibility of there being a sexual chemistry (assuming both are straight), that sexy clothes advice should NOT be a part of the relationship. She straight up asked him to consider her in a sexual light, and that is crossing the lines of a platonic friendship. It's different when it's two girls gabbing about their clothes and they are both straight, but when you are asking another woman's man to think of you in a sexual manner, that's a problem. And the pet name! No. Noooooo. Plus as Eden pointed out in the last post, this is how affairs start, when one person is using another man/woman to complain about their husband/wife. It's been proven time and time again by science.So if anything, I think that because this friend has been a friend for this long, it's the only reason that Eden let it go on this long. I don't think she would have been as “mature” (as she puts it) if this were a newer friend.This isn't about holding the gender against her, it's about her gender BEING the reason that this girl should have been more respectful and her proving that something more WAS going on by NOT being respectful of Eden's boyfriend's request to back it up a little bit. (You mentioned several times that he could have both friendships if he made it clear that things needed to change. He did, and the friend told him to break up with Eden). Again, NO. This girl doesn't seem to care about Eden at all, and Eden has clearly picked up on that. I'm sure if this girl had been a bit more respectful from the beginning, that it never would have gotten to this point.

  • Ashley
    June 9, 2016 at 4:30 pm

    I think what NomadicJazz missed was that the guy did ask the female friend to respect his relationship and move it back a bit so they could preserve their friendship, but the friend said no. Female or male, you can't have a friend that doesn't respect your relationship with your significant other, and I think BECA– USE she was a female, it made it more difficult for Eden to not want her around because people would assume she was jealous. But if it had been a male friend who was just as intrusive in the relationship or if it were a male friend who her guy was creepy close to, I don't think that Eden would have had so much trouble saying “he has to go.”

  • Frisbee Boys Mom
    June 9, 2016 at 6:18 pm

    Just wait for part 3, it'll all come together and you will eat a good portion of your words…….just sayin' !!I know how this ends te he he 🙂

  • NomadicJazz-icFan
    June 9, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    “He sent her an email saying that he had come to realize that their level of comfort with each other was not what he would be comfortable with me having with another guy, and out of respect for me, that he needed to reel it back a little bit. He told her that he valued her friendship, but that because they were both older and in serious relationships, that he thought it was best that they spend more time turning to their partners instead of turning to each other.”This is how you communicate with a friend of 24 years??? He's emailing her? not calling, not meeting in person for coffee? I may missed out on something but one thing is certain, this is not how you treat a good friend. IMO, the only reason he's doing this is because of the subliminal pressure he's receiving on both ends to choose. He's emailing his friend because he's scared to say these things in person and the reaction he will garner. I also think Eden was unfair to compare the “park man” to his ongoing relationship with his long term friend. That is not a fair comparison, not even a little. In case I missed it, can somebody please recap what said friend has done that is inappropriate to the relationship? The only thing I recall was the “is this sexy?” text. I also don't think that's inappropriate if the context was: I'm going out tonight- do I look like a tramp? vs “Im sending a photo of my cleavage/legs to you in hopes of seducing you.” Without seeing the photo or context, we can only side with the writers opinion. But what else has she done? Not invited Eden to parties? If so, I blame BF for not trying harder to include Eden with said invite. But what else? I'm not blaming Eden for her feelings and I'm not saying they are unwarranted. Eden has made it clear that past relationships have made this more complicated. That's why I think HE should of set the boundaries long ago. By keeping both relationships separate, he made them both compete for his undivided attention and made Eden question their relationship if she can't be a part of his friends dynamic.But I ask all of you this, how many friends of 24 years+ have you sent an EMAIL “to reel it back a notch?” Of course the girl is upset with the email. Assuming after many years of being there for each other, she receives an email that their friendship is inappropriate for his new relationship? Another question: I've read from the comments that it's time for him to confide in his significant other, and I AGREE- to an extent. What about when the issue is about said significant other? I talk to my best guy friend (or brother) when I need an outsiders point of view in my relationships. Having limited information, does this guy have somebody other than Eden to confide in? or was this friend always that person? Again, there are too many unanswered questions that only the three involved can answer. My point of view is coming from the assumption that Eden's man and friend are essentially best of friends. If they are not, my point is moot. This friend of his is going through marital problems and obviously needs to sort her issues out. But if her only friend is Eden's BF, I empathize with her because now she may feel like she has no one? IDK. Or perhaps she want's to sabotage their relationship because she's in love with him, IDK. I'm just speaking as a guy who has close female friends that have the right intentions and have never come in the way of successful relationships.

  • Anonymous
    June 9, 2016 at 7:44 pm

    I had this same discussion with my husband a few weeks ago. He has a female friend that has been messaging back and forth on social media while he is at work. I found the messages and while none of them were in any way suggestive, it started to get old. I finally told him straight out that this has moved beyond being his shoulder to cry about her divorce, and was now in emotional infidelity territory. He would listen to her sorrows, and then come home and have no energy to listen to my day or commiserate with me. What finally made me confront him was when she sent him a facebook poke at 630am. What “friend” are you thinking about that early? Like, why is another woman's husband on your mind so much, that you feel the need to “check in” with him. I was NOT having it. I wasn't accusatory when I confronted him, just matter of fact. When I explained he was like “Omg, you're absolutely right” he had never thought of that way, because it had happened so slowly. However, she always bothered me, because when we had attended an event she was at, she was sloppy and all over him, but had she sent pix asking if she looked sexy I *would* cut a b*tch.

  • Anonymous
    June 9, 2016 at 9:32 pm

    Ohhhh ok I get it now. You're essentially “the guy” because you are in the exact same kind of relationship that Eden's guy is in…. Yea you're probably not going to get it then. Everyone else seems to disagree with you, but you can't see it. We see your point but we all disagree. And you're probably not going to see ours, because then that would mean accepting that maybe you've also crossed a few lines.

  • NomadicJazz-icFan
    June 10, 2016 at 5:59 pm

    Anonymous- I've made it very clear there are too many unknown factors in this story. I'm definitely not trying to convince or persuade people on here to agree with me. What I do get is there are a lot of insecure people in relationships. But you are correct, I do have a few female friends that I've known for decades and care for deeply. If they are in trouble, I will listen- period! The relationship goes both ways. You know what, it has never been a problem for ME (notice I said “me” and not you) or my significant other. You know why? because I'm quick to introduce my S.O. to them, and make it clear that they have always been there and that there's nothing in my friendship that would cross any inappropriate boundaries. I not only talk, I prove it by my actions. If one of them text me, I have no problem showing them the contents of my phone. Also, my friends are in relationships too and I hang out with their guys, and my S.O. hangs out with my friends. That is literally the definition of friendship. Don't get me wrong, if one of the guys sent my S.O. a sext, hell would break loose. But it hasn't. That's why I hope part 3 includes some screen shots. I also would not find myself in a long term relationship with somebody that is so insecure with the idea of a mans best friend being a female. To further generalize, since that's what you're doing, I'm never surprised to read that Eden tends to get along better with males than the females in her life. Why do you think that is? I must reiterate because you keep missing a crucial point to my comment- which is that none of us know (except for the parties involved) what is being said between “BF” and “Friend.” What we do know is that Eden is uncomfortable with the relationship. IMO, it was wrong to make her boyfriend feel that “park guy” and his “friend” are the same thing. It's simply not. What you also seemed to have missed from my comments- and I have stated multiple times- is that “BF” should of done a better job of providing transparency of his friendship. He made it worse by not including Eden or attempt to -IDK- go on a double date so everybody can be more comfortable with the relationship. Is that really that far-fetched? Would Eden and friend disagree to the suggestion? You are right, Anonymous. I am “the guy” in the same situation. Except my S.O. (to date) has never asked me to stop or “reel back” any of my friendships. I guess that's what's so great about her, she's not insecure. Also, let's not forget the reason Eden has this blog. It's to share her life and to generate healthy discussions from her followers about real life experiences. Not to attack others for disagreeing with their opinions. This is not Mars vs Venus type of discussion.

  • Anonymous
    June 10, 2016 at 6:03 pm

    PART THREE!!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 14, 2016 at 5:51 am

      Thursday!!

  • Christina GLunt
    June 10, 2016 at 6:39 pm

    Ditto to Anonymous up there

  • Ashley
    June 10, 2016 at 7:14 pm

    I literally just rolled my eyes so hard I could see my brain. He just doesn't get it. It's not about transparency, it's about respect. You can be as transparent as you want, but that doesn't make your actions ok. You should not have the same relationship with your female friends as you do with your girlfriend. If sex is the only difference, then you have some major issues.And what the hell are you talking about that Eden gets along better with the males in her life than the females? Can you even read? All her good friends are female from what I can see. Seriously, you sound like the Bible beater on the corner trying to get people to listen to you, and you are so wrong that I'm feeling second hand embarrassment for you. It's not insecurity, it's RESPECT and if you are making your girlfriends feel that they are insecure because of your female friendships, than YOU are manipulative and TOTALLY the kind of guy that the rest of the commentors on here don't like.

  • NomadicJazz-icFan
    June 10, 2016 at 10:10 pm

    First- I don't appreciate any of you attacking my personal life. Nobody on here knows who I am and what I do as person. I'm not attacking Eden or any of her followers. Heck, I follow her too. I'm just playing devils advocate and giving my opinion, which is why she does this, to generate conversation. I do not have to share your opinion as you do not have share mine. I am simply offering a male perspective- and I did. Whoa whoa, don't blow a gasket, I said “a” not “the” male perspective. I have to clarify that before somebody misconstrues that I'm speaking for all men.Ashley- My relationship doesn't have to work for everyone. You can have a close friend of the opposite sex without making your S.O. insecure about it. I acknowledge there have to be boundaries but I have not read any clear boundaries overstepped in part 1 or 2. I've read part 1 and 2 several times, in case I missed anything- I haven't. Eden is quoted several times in part 1 mentioning his friend as “very close.” Even Eden acknowledges this is not some bar meet, or drunken colleague at the company X-mas party, or somebody from the park. It sounds like friend is acting within the boundaries of a long term friendship. The only thing I read that may cross a boundary is the “do I look sexy” text. Even then, Eden did not mention how far along along after the talk of “monogamy” with her now boyfriend that messages was received. Everybody is quick to say it was inappropriate, but only they know the context of how provocative it was, and how far along the relationship it was when the message was received. One month, two, six, one year? Yes, even that is important before accusing somebody of being a relationship wrecker. I sincerely ask, Ashley- since I'm perceived as the clueless male- please provide the long list of boundaries and disrespect said friend has crossed? (Before email was sent). Please list specifics and don't assume, since you clearly understand more than I do. I should not (and am not) embarrassed for sharing what has worked for me, and simply offering my accounts with the author. What's embarrassing about that? Is this a females only blog? Cause if so, I'll gladly see my way out. I wasn't aware Eden was running “the I hate men club” over here and it's sad that if an opinion is not shared, bitter people have to try and put others down. I am “manipulative,” how so? I stated that my relationship works with my significant other and has never caused a problem. Does that really anger you and make you feel sorry for me and my S.O.? No no my dear, we are in a very respectful relationship and COMMUNICATION is vital to our success. On a positive note, I'm happy to generate some buzz on here. In the words of another commentator, perhaps “I will eat my words” in part 3. I just hope part 3 is more detailed than the previous parts.

  • Anonymous
    June 11, 2016 at 4:53 pm

    Omg it is AMAZING that you remember word for word paragraphs of perfectly written -oops I mean “spoken”- speeches that you give these people! Do your kids have a photographic memory as well, just like they share your genetic disease/foot problems/ third eye or whatever else?

  • Anonymous
    June 11, 2016 at 9:20 pm

    I'm one of Eden's friends in real life (I held a sign in the “is Eden real post”) and I can personally attest that she does remember conversations word for word. And not just words, but what everyone was wearing, what they did with their hands, everything in the surroundings and so on. It's freaky as hell and we make fun of her for it all the time, but yes, she does!!

  • Anonymous
    June 12, 2016 at 3:21 pm

    Totally agree with everything you're saying. Eden like, JUST started dating this dude- that's going to suck for him and his female friend when they break up! Someone you just met doesn't always get invited to everything, sometimes not even on purpose… they aren't married, g! None of it matters though because underdog eden always comes out the winning victim in the end, the popular vote who everyoneeee roots for, no matter what!

  • Anonymous
    June 12, 2016 at 3:25 pm

    Husband is TOTALLY different than some dude you just started dating. Your situation is an actual problem that does not sound like a good sign at all… Eden's is not.

  • Anonymous
    June 12, 2016 at 8:54 pm

    She didn't just start dating him… we have no idea how long they have been dating. She mentioned him months ago in an article on another site.

  • Luciana Nogueira Soares
    June 12, 2016 at 11:51 pm

    Dear anonymous troll, don't let jealousy get the best of you ^^ Wasting your time trying to diminish one's qualities using their genetic disorders is not only low, but laughable.

  • Kara
    June 13, 2016 at 3:38 am

    Thank you for saying that Luciana! ^^^ How low do you have to be to troll using CHILDREN with medical conditions as your base? I'm so disgusted that even a troll would stoop low enough to make rude comments about children.

  • Anonymous
    June 14, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    My understanding is they both have good friends of both genders, and it's fine. This particular friend's behavior and attitude toward Eden is problematic and causing tension (total exclusion/no invites, inappropriate level of intimacy with Guy, marriage counseling, interruptions on dates, sexy photos—and likely other behavior—I think she's intentionally giving a summary level and being mindful of any details that will divulge identity). This tension is present even without Eden saying anything to Guy up until this point. I'm a pretty open minded woman and have guy friends, but have never done any of the things Threatening Friend has. I don't have cutesy pet names for guy friends (because ewww), send sexy outfit pics, or do anything that could be misconstrued by an SO. In fact, as a guy friend begins dating someone, I take a step back, and that's always been a natural evolution/transition, regardless of who the guy friend is. It's unspoken and appreciated by the guy friend in every case. None of them ever say, “Hey, why aren't you asking to hang out with me alone???” Everybody gets it. And I've never had the SO of a guy friend clamp down on our friendship.

  • Anonymous
    June 14, 2016 at 2:41 pm

    Are you Threatening Friend?? Lol

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 14, 2016 at 5:50 am

      Oh gosh, yea, why on earth was she messaging him that early? No. Just no!!

  • Anonymous
    June 14, 2016 at 2:45 pm

    Part three! Part three! Part three! [Everyone chants, while tapping the table in unison]

  • Anonymous
    June 14, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    Hey AMAZING, you can't photograph speech. Quit while you're behind. Occupy your time with a paying, legal job. Last I heard, trolling doesn't pay much.

  • Anonymous
    June 14, 2016 at 6:34 pm

    Oh my goodness. So glad I discovered your blog from your HuffPost article. Now I'm dying waiting for part 3.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 14, 2016 at 5:51 am

      Lol! Stay tuned!

  • Luciana Nogueira Soares
    June 15, 2016 at 12:12 am

    Why not today? @_@

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 24, 2016 at 12:52 pm

      Lol because I’m a slow editor 🙂

  • Luciana Nogueira Soares
    June 15, 2016 at 12:15 am

    This girl is one of the reasons some people don't believe in friendship with the opposite sex. Dude, I would never message ANY FRIEND that early in the morning unless someone had died and the corpse was in my front porch.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      June 24, 2016 at 5:50 am

      Haha, well I sure hope that scenario never happens either!!

  • Luciana Nogueira Soares
    June 15, 2016 at 12:20 am

    Man, if you are real friend of someone you don't disrespect any person your friend is involved which, it doesn't matter if they just meet or they are years together. Your friends are not your propriety – you shouldn't be bothered by whom they date, because, seriously, it's not your place. Christ, it's not even your relatives place to dictate who you should be with. Don't make other people lives harder because you can't grow up. If you are not there to embrace life with your friend – dates included – why you are there at all?

  • Anonymous
    June 15, 2016 at 11:22 pm

    Good one! Ya got me there, that proves everything! Lol

  • Butterfly14
    June 17, 2016 at 6:10 pm

    And yes, as a personal friend I agree with above 'real life friend” as I am one as well….. freaky as hell that she remembers EVERYTHING!

Comments are closed here.

Me Defined

Eden Strong

Eden Strong

My husband said he was going to the store... and never came back. It's been a crazy life that's left me functional enough to survive yet dysfunctional enough to make me funny. I'm living my life devoid of most social graces while single parenting two young children and I absolutely love it....most days.

Connect With Me On Facebook!

Facebook Pagelike Widget

Follow Me On Instagram!

Error: Error validating access token: The session has been invalidated because the user changed their password or Facebook has changed the session for security reasons.

Things You May Have Missed:

Want to help with legal bills?

Subscribe