And This Is What Has Kept Us Busy

So, do you want to know what has been keeping me (and Mr. Attorney Man) busy?
Fighting with my state.
The child support office has STILL been withholding my child support payments, since last August! AN ENTIRE YEAR!!!!!
I don’t want to delve into the entire story again, so if you are new to this blog I would suggest clicking here and after you read that one, click here before going on. That should catch you up.
But anyway, yes, so the child support office has continued to withhold my money, which makes absolutely no sense because what they do is based off a court order; a court order that they themselves have entered into the system wrong, but my case worker sucks, and has refused to look at the court order.
I’m not even kidding.
I’ve called her, Mr. Attorney Man has called her, and all she does is insult us. She told me that “as a little white girl” I should just get a better job and that Mr. Attorney Man shouldn’t even have a law license. She then informed us that “you are free to haul my ass into court and I’ll tell that judge how to do his job,” because she knows that she has governmental immunity.
Legally she is protected and we can’t take her to court.
Eventually I went to my state representative, state senator, and house republic leader. I provided them with copies of the court orders and a timeline of what had been going on, and they were FLOORED. They couldn’t believe what was going on and made it their personal mission to help me.
Unfortunately they didn’t get very far.
How ridiculous.
Because the child support office is protected by government laws, they weren’t able to do anything either. We even re-wrote the court order with the child support states attorney and that didn’t help.
Finally I went to the newspaper.
When some higher-ups found out about it, things started moving along.
A conference call took place between Mr. Attorney Man, a big wig at the child support office in my state capital, a political leader, and myself.
At first the child support big wig was less than pleased to be on the phone with us. In fact his conversation started with “I hear that you have been upset with the way your caseworker is handling the case, but we are well within our rights to be withholding Ms. Strong’s money.” But as the conversation went on and he realized that he was operating off an invalid court order, and that my caseworker had refused to enter my new order (and all of my issues were based upon the fact that they were erroneously working off of an invalid order), his tune changed quickly.
Everything was handed over to the state’s legal department and a week later I received word that the new order was in the system, no more money would be withheld, I would be receiving a check for everything that was wrongly withheld from me, and that my caseworker had been placed on probation.
I got a refund check (which I turned around and handed right over to Mr. Attorney Man, boo hiss), but then a week later the stupid child support office defaulted the order in their system back to the wrong one, and they started withholding my money again.
Three weeks later and I still haven’t been able to get anyone to fix it.
I am SO ready to move on from this, not only because it’s financially killing me and incredibly stressful, but because I have other things that I would rather be doing!!
In fact, here are a few of the other things that have been keeping me busy:
A few friends and I, including The Platonic Hubby, went to our town’s free (I love free!) Patriotic Festival.

Fire truck!
Police motorcycle
They had a lot of cute things for the kids to do
I had fun that night!






My friend making glow in the dark bubbles!
Platonic Hubby, her real hubby, her son, and my kids, waiting for the fireworks to start!
Unfortunately it hasn’t been all fun and games, The Boy Child has been having a bit of a rough time, so he is back in therapy (but doing marvelously). His health issues a few months ago really set him back, but I’m feeling optimistic that he will be back to “normal” soon.




In other news, we all got up early one morning and headed to a free bounce morning near our house. Can I just say again how much I love living here? FREE! FREE! FREE!

The kids played for about 45 minutes and then I dropped them off at daycare and went to work!



Swimming lessons have been going well. Here is The Boy Child in his favorite thing, the canoe. The teacher lets them paddle around and then dumps them out so that they have to swim back to the wall. I don’t think teachers were that creative when I was younger.


When the kids haven’t been at the Y for swimming lessons or dance class, we’ve just been there hanging out. It’s like 5 minutes from my house and such an easy form of free entertainment (free with our financial need scholarship package), we find ourselves there nearly every weekend so that the kids can play.








When we haven’t been swimming at the Y, we’ve been swimming at the clubhouse pool of a friend who lives two minutes down the street from me. She’s a couple years older than me but I’m going to go ahead and say that she puts me to shame, because if you saw her, you’d agree that she looks like a supermodel. She is like a million miles tall and looks like Barbie! Seriously, she looks like she mugged her way out of a cardboard and cellophane package and then showed up in the real world.

She has a daughter The Girl Child’s age and a son The Boy Child’s age (plus a 2 year old and a 12 year old), so it works out great!! I actually just met her this summer but we really hit it off. She’s just as crazy as I am and has the same lack of a filter, so we get along great!




I feel like almost everything the kids and I have done this summer has involved water, but the kids are OK with that and so am I. The Boy Child was excited to spend a little time with the girl he is planning to marry, and I was happy to spend a little time with my friend, her mom, who for this blog I’m now going to name my Future In-law.



As you can see by her photo bomb, she is my kinda people!

There is nothing funnier than watching three short people attempt to get a ball over a volleyball net!





When we aren’t busy relaxing, The Boy Child has been very insistent that he keep up with our landscaping by “mowing” our lawn with his bubble mower…


….all the time.

The Girl Child has spent the vast majority of her free time doing anything and everything artsy. Here she is painting the sidewalk with sidewalk chalk paint…

….then using it to paint my front door.

…. and the front door window.

While outside, I’ve been trying to teach The Boy Child to hit a baseball…

…but the poor kid needs a lot more practice.

One day I put a couple buckets of water out on the balcony, gave each kid a squirt gun, and asked them to wash my car (from the balcony). The Girl Child got right on it, the Boy washed the table, but either way it kept them busy for a solid 45 minutes. #mombreak



I didn’t make a post about it, but The Girl Child turned 7!! Frisbee Boy’s Mom and I took her to see “Inside Out” at the theatre and then out to lunch at her favorite restaurant.



Age 7 kind of scares me. It was a “big” year in my life — a lot of prominent memories — and it has always been the age that has stuck out in my head as the “she will actually be a real person now” year. If you don’t have kids you probably don’t know what that means, but if you do have kids I’m sure you can relate. So anyway, 7 was the age that always hung over my head as the mile marker for “get your act together Eden, you are her mother and she is going to remember everything from this point forward.”

Yikes, that’s a lot of pressure.


Speaking of pressure, I’m doing my best to give her every opportunity at success that I can, so I signed her up with The Big Brother Big Sister program so that she would be able to get a mentor. Unfortunately she has been on the waiting list for a year now and so far no one has picked her as their “Little.”

I’m starting to question if I should pull her off the list because at this point she just feels rejected. We have had quite a few conversations where I’ve explained how many little girls are on the list and they just haven’t gotten to her yet, but her intake evaluator had gotten her so hyped up on how much fun that she would have with her “Big,” that I’m not going to lie, she is getting sad, and I’m sad for her.

In the meantime though, because she doesn’t have a Big, she gets to go once a month to a free group activity with all the kids who are still on the waiting list. This month some kind of high school volunteer group took the kids bowling. She had never been bowling before, and well… she was awful!!

After she accidentally threw the ball towards the tables I was just happy if she kept it in the lane. #Facepalm

Thankfully she had fun though and that’s all that matters!


Other than that, the kids have gone to a few birthday parties, I went out for dinner with my Bestie (who wanted to sit by the window so that she could wear her sunglasses… INSIDE), and I caught a movie with a friend.



Next weekend. as I said, I’m taking a pole dancing class with my friends and I’m also having a boudoir photo shoot done (more explanation on that later,) so that should be fun… or not. I’ve had two kids you guys, there are just some belly shot angles that I am not sure anyone would find sexy anymore, which is why I will probably end up doing something like this — only in underwear!

I mean really though, that is pretty much the perfect portrayal my sexy mom pose. I don’t know who the hell these women are on all those MILF video’s, especially because I’d venture to say that I’m a girl who likes to have fun, but there are some nights where the most “sexy” I can muster up is laying face down on the bed and staying awake.

I’m not even kidding.

I’ll be with someone and he’ll be like “but hey, last time you were…more… upright… and… involved” and I’m all “am I still awake? Did I wash the kids cereal out of my hair? Can you at least see my ass? STOP COMPLAINING.”


My friends and I though are finding this impending photo shoot hysterical, and we are taking the opportunity to send each other a ton of practice sexy selfie’s, mostly just so we can make fun of each other.

This was about as far as I got before I didn’t want to have to do my hair every morning.

So yea, wish me luck on that next weekend.

I’m going to need it!

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  • O.G. O.T.
    August 2, 2015 at 10:25 pm

    Is Boy Child in DT/OT? I work OT pediatrics and the pics you shared remind me of my kiddos, though PT for his age group would make sense too.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 2, 2015 at 3:59 pm

      He is in OT in those pictures!! Finished DT and PT, just OT and nuerobio feedback right now 🙂

  • Mzfuzz
    August 2, 2015 at 11:12 pm

    Yikes! You've still got a lot going on. I am so sorry that they STILL can't get their heads out of their asses at Child Support. I begin to see how some people think that a good firebombing is an appropriate approach. What a nightmare! Looks like the rest of your summer is going swimmingly. *snicker* Keep having fun!!!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 2, 2015 at 3:59 pm

      Haha! Nerd.

      Yea, I’m getting suuuppppeeeeerrrr annoyed with them!

  • Steven Theiss
    August 3, 2015 at 4:58 am

    Cripes! Your post made me feel like a total slacker! I'm tired just having read it. Way to be an awesome mom, even with all the stresses you face.My eldest starts college on the other side of the country this month, so I'm feeling quite nostalgic (and OLD) these days.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 3, 2015 at 3:59 pm

      I’m tired re-reading that too lol. And as I read it again, I realize how much I forgot to include! I can’t believe that was only a month!!

      Aw, your 1st baby is leaving home! Will you survive it!?

  • Anonymous
    August 4, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    Don't get discouraged with the Big Brothers Big Sisters program or feel like she was rejected! I worked at that organization for 3 years and we were always short volunteers so a lot of kids (especially the boys) were on the wait list for quite some time. It's a wonderful program, I hope she gets matched soon!

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 4, 2015 at 3:59 pm

      Thanks 🙂 Yes, I’m definitely not taking it personally, it’s just hard to see her not understanding that it’s not personal 🙁 It’s a wonderful program, I sure hope she gets matched soon!

      Thank you for volunteering 🙂

  • Anonymous
    August 6, 2015 at 4:26 am

    Eden I've got to say as well, don't lose hope in th big sisters program. I've got two daughters. One was matched right away, and the other waited nearly a year. They said they were trying to match the girls based on their compatibility. She got to the point of giving up hope but she was finally matched with someone just like her. Theyrenowgoing on 8 yrs. Hang in there. 🙂

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 6, 2015 at 4:00 pm

      Very true. I’m def not losing hope, I know it’s a long list and we are trying our best to be patient 🙂

      I’m so happy to hear that it worked out well for your girls!!

  • Anonymous
    August 16, 2015 at 5:34 pm

    I went thru the ringer on child support enforcement_biggest joke. Took them 5 yrs to even begin my case and only took a look and called me into their office after i called and stated i had just finished drafting a letter to the Governor and our State representative and would be cc'ing it to them. Then it took forever to get innitated and they put in incorrect amounts of time spent _it was ZERO but the state put in 50%, he was permitted to clai hardships for children that werenot his…Finally after yrs of this i cancelled out the case in FL and went directly to the state he resided in an opened a case. I wrote a letter to the judge to be included that detailed history. I refused medical insurance on m y son as he has life long disabilities that require full time care and he had never once provided insurance_so the court ordered those costs split (no he never paid them) BUT it raised the amount of child support, as well as stating the correct amnt/percentage of time spent with deadbeat. I was then granted 25% of his income after his basic stuff which worked out well. he contested in mediation saying again he was supporting other children but as i objected, it was stricken. Here is the kicker that served for justice. As my son is disabled, in the state that the father resided, there is a clause that states, in terms of support that “if an adult child is considered or termed disabled before the age of 18, both parents are responsible for that child support for the remainder of his life and/or disability.. Keep that in mind for future reference in case it is needed. he then sold everything when my son turned 18 and moved to a state that does not have that family Code…no matter, orig state will continue to enforce it. I had to be the squeaky wheel and go above and beyond child support agencies, calling in the omsbud and state reps. One letter to the Governor one yr , that was cc'dd to everyone involved resulted in the freezing of al his accounts and shutting down his job sites. Go above and beyond your local child support agency. Start with omsbud. Keep names of everyone you spk with, dates, etc. may as well have a separate notebook. In the end_ot was worth the aggravation. each time i had to make a call or compose a letter old feelings were dredged up_but for my son and the sake of what is right_i went for it. look outside of your lawyer as it doesn't seem he is doing his job. If i can do this without an atty, you can. The best part: when my son reached 19 and transition was completed in HS and we went back to court, he spent 72k on an atty. I appeared over the phone from another state, filed all the paperwork and supporting documentation myself and won the case ensuring his care would continue. He hit the roof. I could hear his shock over the phone complaining about the atty fees and losing the case. His biggest mistake was not following the judges request for all documentation to be in 30 days prior to case. His atty and he decided to wait until 2 days prior. So, the judge had ample time to go over my case work and perhaps very little patience to deal with someone who showed disrespect for her previous court order/instructions. Keep going. Contact omsbud in your state as well as the state he resides in. Do not wait for your atty. These are simple things you can do on your own. I never once paid for an atty to handle my support case.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 16, 2015 at 3:59 pm

      Wow, that is quite the ordeal you had to go through 🙁

      We are way past the Ombudsmon at this point. We have state senators, state representatives, judges, states attorneys, and the head of our states child support department involved. My caseworker has been reprimanded and yet the problems STILL ensue. Mr. Attorney Man has unfortunately done nearly everything he can do since the department has legal immunity and we can’t haul them into court. I’m not giving up but I am running out of options 🙁

  • Anonymous
    August 17, 2015 at 6:47 am

    I'm a SAHM of two kids, and I have to say, you put me to shame with all of the extracurricular activities you are doing with your kids this summer. I'm so happy for you and your kids and inspired.

    • NotMyShametoBear
      August 17, 2015 at 4:00 pm

      Haha!! It’s mostly because without another adult here, I’d go crazy sitting home all the time with just two little people to talk to 🙂


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